In this episode you’ll hear us discuss:
- The 1 tool we use to create a shame-free business
- How shame shows up in content, business ideas, and pricing
- Along with the ways I see it predominantly show up for clients.
- I also share how shame almost held me back from even starting my business and how it showed up later on.
I’m chatting with Chantae, a Business and Life Coach specializing in guiding high-performing online coaches, mentors, strategists, and other high-level service providers to scale and sustain six and multiple six-figure businesses on part-time hours, without burnout.
Leveraging her signature framework: Mindset, Method, Mastery, and Metaphysical, she transformed her own business from zero to multiple six figures in less than 2 years and, more significantly, has helped dozens of her clients achieve the same.
Her clients not only experience life-changing financial results but also develop lifelong skills that enhance their confidence, emotional intelligence, and decision-making processes, enabling them to truly experience a life of fulfillment as entrepreneurs.
A shame-free offer creates shame-free sales, so join Unapologetic Offer Creation to craft your most magnetic offer, you are excited to sell, consistently and confidently, using nervous system science and embodiment practices.
Connect with Chantae https://www.instagram.com/chantae.lorraine/
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Am I smart enough is a very natural thing to ponder in a profession that requires so much resilience and grit like entrepreneurship. In today’s episode, you’re going to find out if you are smart enough. By the end of this episode, you will walk away knowing the number one tool that we can use to create a shame free business,
[00:00:32] How shame shows up in content, business ideas, and pricing. And the ways that my guest Shantae sees it predominantly show up for clients. And Shantae will also be sharing how shame almost held her back from even starting her business. And then how it showed up later on. I’m chatting with Shantae, a business and life coach who specializes in guiding high performance, online coaches, mentors, strategics, and other high level service providers to scale and sustain six and multiple six figure businesses.
[00:00:56] On part time hours without burnout.
[00:00:59] She’s [00:01:00] leveraging her signature framework, mindset method, mastery, and metaphysical, which has helped her transform her own business from zero to multiple six figures in less than two years. And more significantly has helped dozens of her clients appear, achieve the same. .
[00:01:15] Sheridan: Everyone who’s joining and listening to this. I’m really proud of you for talking about Shame with us. Yeah, I was gonna frame that with them as well, that this You know, like, many, many things are, can be very sensitive when we get into, like, some of the more minutiae topics that we support clients with, you know, things like, for me, comes up with, like, mindset, like, I know for you, like, anxiety and trauma, so, like, I’m so witnessing everybody who’s tuning in, who’s gonna hold space for not only this conversation, but maybe hold space for themselves.
[00:01:44] We’ll start at the beginning. So for me, I have like two examples of when shame showed up for me and my business. And I think now looking back, I can identify those things as being shame, but I think at the time it wasn’t like, that wasn’t a word that I would have put to that.[00:02:00]
[00:02:00] So in the beginning, when shame showed up for me was the creation of a business in and of itself. And being an entrepreneur, I used to believe that I wasn’t smart enough. Like that was an actual story that I told myself that like, you’re not actually smart enough to own a business. Like sure. I’m great at this coaching thing and sure.
[00:02:13] I’m great at holding space for people and sure. People tell me I’m wise beyond my years, but like Owning a business? I did not think I was smart enough. That’s so much so that I, yeah, that I wrote a post on this a few years ago that was like when I was walking across the stage to accept my master’s degree.
[00:02:27] Like when I started to unpack where that thought was coming from, I remember that moment where I was walking across the stage, um, getting a master’s degree, right? And I was like, yeah, you don’t deserve this. Like, you’re not smart enough for a master’s degree. As I was going to shake the hand of the person giving it to me.
[00:02:41] And so when I pulled back the layers, I identified that like, wow, you really, you haven’t thought you’re smart enough. Even when the evidence was saying like, You actually are and we totally don’t have to like quantify intelligence like getting a degree But just to put it into context of like I literally did not think that I was smart enough And so like obviously I moved through all of that and I have a [00:03:00] successful business now But that was the first time that like something actually Like that caused me pain and that was rooted in so much shame like showed up like now I can identify It’s like oh wow, like that was shame showing up Like yeah, you’re not wanting to share your thoughts and opinions and you know how you see things That was a little shame because you didn’t think you were smart enough Yeah.
[00:03:19] That’s where it first started. That’s a really interesting one that you’re sharing because I think this is, I think it’s tricky and it’s been tricky for me with selling shameless sales because there are so many little things that we have going behind our, going on in the background and we do not know that it is shame, but it is shame.
[00:03:39] And if we were to just address the shame, like I just got off a client call and she’s really struggling to, in the same ways that I struggle sometimes, to really understand like the revolutionary aspect of what it is that she’s created. And it’s like this disbelief. It’s like, Oh, I could be that intelligent.
[00:03:58] Yeah. Cause in the [00:04:00] background, it’s like, well, what I’ve created is just this little thing, like, it’s just a different way of seeing it. It’s like, no, what you’ve created is freaking amazing and revolutionary. And the reason you’re not seeing that is shame. Yes. Oh, revolution is such a good word for it. Will you please share with people what the revolutionary thing is?
[00:04:18] I need them to hear about it. I was trying to speak about my client, not me. Yeah, so everyone who is new here or hasn’t really been in my world a lot, the way that the revolutionary process that I have created is something called body based business. It’s in trademark at the moment. We’re getting it trademarked, which is really exciting.
[00:04:38] And it’s an entirely new way of creating Business plans is an entire new way of creating sales and marketing strategies. Yeah. What it is, we use 75 percent somatic coaching, somatic therapy, nervous system regulation, somatic inquiry, um, somatic work. And we use that and understanding your needs, whether they have [00:05:00] been influenced by trauma or neurodiversity or anything.
[00:05:03] We use all of that to create business strategy and business action. So that other 25 percent is how do I build my day to day business and how do I build my larger business based on the needs of my body and the feedback of my body. And there’s two ways to use it. You can kind of use it to create, build, build resilience and stress relief and anxiety relief to build a business.
[00:05:27] Yep. And you can also use it to increase. Creativity and intuition and innovation to, to bigger leader scaling things. Yeah, definitely. It works for both building and scaling. Yeah. I’m like, you know, for me who didn’t think I was smart enough to build a business to like me now, it was like stepping into a more leadership role and being like, oh my gosh, I am smart enough.
[00:05:50] Like. I, I can do and be all the things that I didn’t think I could even when I didn’t think I was smart enough to do so. Yeah. Thank you for sharing your revolutionary process with us. [00:06:00] Thanks. So now, okay, what are, so it came up in feeling like you’re not smart enough, you’re not good enough. You obviously went ahead and did it anyway.
[00:06:09] Yep. Which is great. Yeah. How else, how else did it show up? So I would say. That it showed up later on and building my business and the reason why I wanted you to share your revolutionary framework was like purposeful because it leads into this next point is that I realized that my work was bigger than me and that was a moment where I had this like, pause.
[00:06:29] That in many ways. Although I was doing the things and taking the action and showing up and coaching the clients and getting the result, I realized I was still playing a very small game in a sense of, like, I was in a very, and I still feel in many ways I am, in, like, a very tight cocoon. Like, there’s still so much for me to expand into, to create, like, intellectual property, a podcast, a book, being on a new platform.
[00:06:50] There’s still so many spaces for me to be, to expand my work. And so now the way that Shame, Has shown up and that I’d been working through was like this work is way bigger
[00:07:00] than you just being a coach because contrary to a lot of the information that we hear in the online space like I got into business for very like I guess what people would say objectively selfish reasons like I wanted more freedom.
[00:07:09] I wanted more time. I wanted more money I wanted to do something that felt good And then when I got into it and I built the business I was like wait, this isn’t just about me This is about helping people literally change Their life, like in a very like literal way, because when you know how to stand up for yourself and advocate for yourself, we know how to step into your leadership when you’re going to make money, those things change your life.
[00:07:30] And so I had this moment, I would say maybe two years ago where I was like, Whoa, wait, like this mission is way bigger than just like Shantae wanting to experience freedom. It was like, I’m helping others create freedom and that ripple effect that we will never be able to be measured. It’s like the impact that just like bursts wide open and I was like, oh wait, I just want to retreat and go back into a cocoon.
[00:07:48] And so I’ve been like, no, like you have to continue to pull back like this is so much bigger than you. And so I don’t even really know like what that root shame thing could be. Although it’s like it is shame. It’s like a sense of like, [00:08:00] this is so much bigger than me. And so therefore I can’t continue to play into patterns that perpetuate like staying small, staying meek, not taking up space.
[00:08:08] Like the bigger thing is like. Helping people acknowledge and own their desire to make more money, which I think the reason they don’t is because of shame. Well, that’s what I was going to say. It’s so interesting because obviously everyone’s journey is really unique. But it’s because I feel like for you, the shame was, making it harder to see the larger vision and the larger mission, whereas for some people, especially the types of people I work with, their shame makes it really hard.
[00:08:36] Like, we’re great visionaries. We’re like, I’m going to change the world. But I feel so icky if I charge more than my peer. Yeah. And where I was just like, that was not a thing. But now you’re like, whoa, but changing the world. Like, could I actually be out there? Am I smart enough? Am I smart? Isn’t it interesting how it always comes back to that one thing?
[00:08:58] Yeah. Always. [00:09:00] Yeah. So I would say like, that has been the most recent, recent iteration of that shame continuing to come up. It’s like, all right, like I started it and I’m smart enough and I’m like, Oh, wait, like there’s more here. There’s a bigger mission here. And then when we add into the layer of like.
[00:09:15] I’m a business coach and I’m talking about money. Ooh, it just comes with a whole, a whole, uh, genre of other things that I feel like are navigated that are a lot of it’s based on Shane. That’s not just like mine. Like there’s so much shame that exists around people talking about money, owning money, whether or not to share income or like not to share income or to share income.
[00:09:34] And so it’s like layer by layer, like who am I in relation to all of that? And how do I not take on everybody else’s stuff to be rooted in like, regardless, I’m smart enough to do this and to help people in their stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting.
[00:09:46] How does it impact your sales? Great question. Great limited question. I would say the first thing that changes is they no longer make themselves wrong in the decisions that they decide to make in relation to
[00:10:00] what it is they want to do. So in very more contextual terms, when it comes to pricing their offer, it’s not whether or not this way or that way is right.
[00:10:09] They will pick the thing and then they’ll just go ahead and do it and we’ll figure out how to clean it up on the back end. Or if it’s like the length of the offer or what’s included in the offer, specifically an offer creation, when they remove shame from that process, there is no overthinking the decision making.
[00:10:24] There is no over intellectualizing or like seeking out what other people are doing. They’re able to come back in and be like, well, what excites me? Like what feels good to me? Like what is true for me? And then go make the decision, and then go take the action. Whereas if there’s a lot of shame there, then there’s more just like layers to pull back, which like obviously isn’t a problem.
[00:10:40] That’s, you know, clearly why I have the job. But whenever we do remove that shame, it’s just quicker. Like they’re able to make decisions more quicker, they’re able to land things more quicker, and then they’re, of course, not able to sell. And a way that’s truly aligned with them. And of course that helps them make more money.
[00:10:55] I think like the online space makes it seem as though we have to do things that we like
[00:11:00] literally don’t want to do. And I’m not saying in a sense of like, like you have to show up, you have to create content, you have to ask for the sale and extend the invitation, but like you don’t have to do it in a way that you don’t agree with.
[00:11:10] Right. Yeah. And so when we remove shame from the sales process, they’re like, okay, what’s my way. And then you’re more excited to go show up and then you’re excited to go do it more and more often. So I would say that is like the main thing that I see happen with clients when they remove shame. And the offer creation and sales process.
[00:11:26] Yeah. I’m trying to think if there’s another layer there. I have another example, though, if we can think about, like, pricing, because I feel like my brain keeps wanting to go to, like, money and pricing. We can think about, yeah, pricing in the conversation. I think there’s, like, two things. Number one, they’re almost, like, ashamed of what they want to price.
[00:11:46] So, like, can I charge as much as, like, my peers or more than my peers? Or number two, they almost want to hide their price. Which then like can cause like a whole bunch of like different things on the back end of that to their audience. And I don’t think there’s a right or wrong
[00:12:00] way to go about it, to be clear.
[00:12:01] But I do think those are two examples of like, If there’s shame and you’re making decisions based on that, then, like, no matter what you decide, it won’t feel good. Like, you won’t make yourself right for the fact that you, you know, don’t want to share your price, or you won’t make yourself right for the fact that you want to charge more than, you know, your peers or your colleagues.
[00:12:17] Like, you’re always making yourself wrong in the process, and, like, if, if you don’t clean that part up, the shame part up, then, like, You’re just going to constantly make yourself wrong and nothing’s going to feel good at all. And you’re not going to make any sales, right? I think that’s where it comes back for me.
[00:12:29] It’s, it’s, it’s, it’s not about the money at all. But if I share my prices with this like undertone of, I mean, I know that you’re judging me. I, I, I, No, I don’t know that you’re judging me, but I know that you’re making a judgment. You’re making a judgment of, is this inside of my budget? Is this X, Y, Z? I was on a, like a colleague type call, they were asking me if I wanted to collaborate with them.
[00:12:52] Yeah. And she goes, yeah, what are, what is your, what are your prices? And I shared with my prices. And it was just that [00:13:00] little moment and I was like, Oh, how curious she’s getting to know me by asking what my office suite is like. Yeah. I guess that makes sense. It’s fine. I’m happy to share, but it was this weird, it’s like, we all acknowledge that we’re all making judgments when we talk about money, we’re all comparing.
[00:13:18] And, but if I go in with this feeling of like, Ooh, you’re comparing me now. All of our energy is. Like poof down. Yeah. Into talking it. Into feeling or into holding that ickiness. Yeah. Whereas if we could just share the number. Yeah. Just free . We might have, we might talk about how we can make the number happen.
[00:13:43] Yeah. And how we can move forward and how the person can receive that number and how the other person can pay that number, and how we can move on to the whole point of why we’re having the conversation, which is to get you towards a goal. Totally. And I think that brings up. Like a really good like segue point and to like, if we’re talking about selling, let’s talk about the way that people can sell, like specifically on a sales [00:14:00] call, for example.
[00:14:00] Like if there’s so much shame just around like owning your pricing or owning your offer, owning even the result that you deliver for your clients. Owning that it’s a sales call. Like let’s rewind. Let’s start at the beginning. Owning that it’s a sales call. Yeah. Because yeah, if we can’t clean up that part of it, then like you’re going to show up in a different space.
[00:14:21] You’re going to show up in a different energy. You’re going to show up in a different headspace. Yeah. And like, effectively, you’re not going to sell in the way that you want to. You’re going to start, like, overthinking, borrowing someone else’s advice or strategy that doesn’t align with you, and so then nine times out of ten, you’re not going to make the sale.
[00:14:35] Yeah. And not, like, making you wrong for that, but, like, when we claim Those things up, you go into those calls, calling them a sales call, positioning the sales call, like owning that sales call, like the boss that you are, because you’re changing lives with the service that you provide, and you walk away, regardless of if you made the sale or not, like excited.
[00:14:51] You’re like, I did that damn thing. Like, when’s the next one? Like, let’s keep doing this. And to like, I get the result that I want. And therefore change the life because the service changed the life, cetera, et
[00:15:00] cetera. Yeah. Which ends up being about the vision. Yeah. At the end of the day, we, at the end of the day, we keep coming back to the idea of like, when I clean up my shame, yeah, I make money.
[00:15:11] That’s good. Yeah. I actually do make money. Great. I love it. We love money, but I think for all of us, it’s because we are path decision people. So we make, we make, we have visions that occur, lives that change. Definitely, and even if in the beginning, I didn’t even realize the impact that I was going to, like, make, or even, I guess in maybe some way, like, I think in some way I did know, right?
[00:15:34] Like, I think objectively, I can’t say, I literally didn’t know, but maybe not to the magnitude that, like, And it kept being expressed to me. Because I’m sure you can relate to this too, when people are like, you’ve literally changed my life. I’m like, okay, yes, I know, but like, let’s like, integrate that for a minute.
[00:15:49] 100%, you’re like, cute. Like, you just brush it off, almost. But I think there might actually be a level of shame there as well, because it’s that, it’s like, I, I am so bought
[00:16:00] into this idea that I’m not that great of a person, that it would be foundationally, cool. Like, shattering for me to actually understand the impact that I’ve had on somebody, because it would go so against my own shame story.
[00:16:13] That’s so true. But that’s what I want. I want that impact. I want that shattering moment. That’s the reason that we’re doing any of it. Absolutely. Like, the vision, inevitably, I think if we think about something like Legacy, for example, like, You know, you’re in the process of, like, getting a book started, like, you have a podcast, like, you’re, you know, revolutionary process is trademark pending, like, those are legacy building things, and so I think that, like, it isn’t enough just to say, like, we’re in this for the money, like, the vision as visionaries, even if we don’t recognize it in the beginning, or if we’re working through shame to recognize it, like it’s legacy building way beyond, you know, the, the time that we’re going to spend doing this work, like it’s going to live on for, you know, for centuries, millennia to come in many different ways and many different like hearts, like our impact can’t be measured.
[00:16:59] So [00:17:00] like, Who knows what one coaching called it for a person, that they go create something that turns into a Nobel Prize. Like, my mind just goes to the most like, you know, not even crazy things, like it could totally happen in many ways if you think about it. Yeah. Um, and so it really is about vision, vision and legacy, because like, what is this going to lead to?
[00:17:16] And right. And I think if we can like root of like,
[00:17:22] I mean, like, who wouldn’t want to shack themselves open and do that work? But I always think about it as like, and maybe this is me just being more pessimistic about it or something. That’s okay. I don’t know. But I always think of, I’m also thinking about legacy because something with shameless sales since I started selling it that’s been really, you know, empowering for me to remember or to, like, to share has been the fact that being able to sell means that you have income and you need income in order to do your trauma healing, create a better relationship, like, to feel safe.
[00:17:54] Like, you actually, we need income and, okay, I’m speaking
[00:18:00] to, I know that you know this, listen, this is for you. Everyone, yes, but of course, share it. We can’t, we can’t have more of these conversations, enough. So. Even if that legacy isn’t like a book or a podcast or a Nobel Prize, what that legacy might be is like, for this period of my life, I am selling my coaching package.
[00:18:20] For this period of my life, I am selling my Reiki package. Yep. And that may change. Maybe I decide that I’m going to have a kid and I don’t want to do this type of thing and maybe what I sell or maybe the way that I speak about that is like when I go and get a job, I’m able to negotiate a higher pay or maybe what I sell is I’m able to, I’m able to have a better relationship with money and with sales and I’m able to get a better car and I’m able to look at my stocks in a different way.
[00:18:49] I’m able to bring that neutrality. And around money and around sales, even if it is just into like foundational life care things. [00:19:00] And then on top of that, that means that I feel safe, which means that I have better relationships with means that I have better. relationships with my kids and with the people around me and then with the barista.
[00:19:11] I was, it always, for me, it always comes back to the barista. I’m like, I want to be the person the barista is excited to see. Oh, I love that. Wait, I love that. It’s like, it’s so good. It’s so big. Totally. So, so minute. Yeah. And so important on both sides. I agree. I completely agree. Something that came up with me as you were, as you started, when you were naming the things that, you know, money gives you is.
[00:19:35] The same that I always talk about around like agency, like money and even going dialing it back, like being able to sell and even dialing it back, working through your shame in order to sell, in order to make money is to have full agency over your life. Because in the way in which the world operates, like money grants you opportunities, opportunities is what’s going to give you freedom and whatever way that looks like, whether it’s, I don’t know, the biggest, the big things that you can dream up or like the minute things that you’re like, it just feels so
[00:20:00] good that I can.
[00:20:00] You know, walk to the barista and get my little pastry every morning and get my coffee and like feel really good and like safe in my body. Like it doesn’t matter what it is, but I think like at the root of that, we don’t start at the shame to do the selling, to create the money, to create the agency, then like that entire process is going to fall apart.
[00:20:16] Like you’re never going to get to the next step if the shame isn’t looked at first. So it came up for me big is like that agency, like working through your shame gives you agency over your life. And that’s really. Yeah. Interesting for me to hear as well, you know, my background is in trauma therapy, and so the first thing that heals trauma is agency, because the first thing that creates trauma is lack of agency.
[00:20:38] We experience trauma because we do not have the agency, either that is like, it’s, we just do not have it for whatever reason to get ourselves out of the situation that is causing us harm. And we create this helplessness inside. And so really what the trauma healing path is, is just picking agency. And I think that’s also why so many people who have
[00:21:00] experienced trauma end up in entrepreneurship is because what we’re really looking for is a reminder every single fucking day.
[00:21:08] Yeah, every single day that we do have agency and we do have freedom and we’re not subject to the things that caused us pain in the past. So full, full, full circle. So good. I feel like I could bring it even more full circle because I feel like we’re both sharing like probably in many ways you can tell me this was true.
[00:21:29] Like I wouldn’t have been able to create like different frameworks and concepts and ways of thinking about things. If the root of it was like, I don’t think I’m smart enough, right? I wouldn’t have been able to do that if I didn’t work on the shame. And so kind of bringing that even more full circle, I’m sure you know, it’s like one of my foundational beliefs is that I usually say it in different ways.
[00:21:48] Let me see if I can tailor it more to like sales and selling is that your current circumstance doesn’t dictate where you’re going. Yeah. It doesn’t, it doesn’t dictate where you’re going. Like the, what you adopt in
[00:22:00] the moment and how you lead yourself in the moment is what does. And so I guess in terms of like shame and selling, it’s like, I don’t think it’s a one time thing.
[00:22:07] And I’m sure you can speak to this, like you’re selling shameless sells right now, but I think that it’s a continuous process and almost like if something in your experience right now and in our conversation, you’re recognizing like, Oh, that thing could be shame for me. Like, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you still aren’t going to get to where you’re going or create the results that you want.
[00:22:24] I think it works in tandem with both. So the full circle moment is like, your circumstances don’t create your results, right? Like that agency does. That’s something that like, I wouldn’t have been able to conceptualize if I didn’t work all my shame that I wasn’t smart enough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I think that’s a really nice place to kind of wrap it up too, because, listener, you have agency right now.
[00:22:47] Yeah. You actually do have agency. You can relate to your thoughts differently. You can relate to your emotions differently. You can create the sensations in your body differently. You can relate to your business differently. This can be something that you, This is a point where this can be something that you’ve listened
[00:23:00] to, or you were going for a walk, um, because you were bored and you wanted some stimuli in your ears, or it can be a moment that you choose agency and you choose change and you choose that the past is going to be in the past and the way that you relate to your entire business, your finances.
[00:23:17] Your desires, your way of doing things can change and one of the best ways that you can do that is by joining my free three day live event called Unapologetic Offer Creation. This is kind of, if shameless sales is the entire, um, entire course of how to sell without shame so that you can create the legacy so that you can have the agency so that you can sign your next client next week.
[00:23:43] On a project offer creation is milestone 0 of that. So we’re I’m giving it to you for free. Um, it’s a 3 day experience that we’re going to have together. And we’re going to make sure that you walk out of that 3 day experience with a sellable offer that uses nervous system science to number 1, be magnetic and
[00:24:00] number 2, make sure that you want to sell it really consistently and that you’re excited to sell it.
[00:24:06] I would love to have you there. I’m going to make sure that we have all the links are in my bio for those on Instagram. And this will be on the podcast and there’ll be below in the podcast notes as well. Amazing. Yes. Everyone join Unapologetic Offer Creation and then Shameless Sales when the doors open on day one of Unapologetic Offer Creation.
[00:24:22] It’s going to be great. You’re going to learn how to create your offer, price your offer, and then of course sell your offer. Which of course, like you said, creates agency. And agency is what creates everything else. Like it wrapped up so beautifully. I love this conversation. This is so good. Yeah. It’s so good.
[00:24:35] And everyone make sure that you, I mean, we’re on your account right now, but everyone listen to the podcast later, go hang out with Shantae.
[00:24:44] You’ll find all the links to connect with Shante as well as to join unapologetic offer creation and then have an invitation into shameless sales in the podcast details below. Thank you so much for joining us
The proven strategy to create your offer that’ll have your ideal clients flooding your inbox and your stripe account rising.
