There are four very common myths of female success that quietly create burnout, and in today's episode, I'm speaking with Hannah o' Donovan, who is the only other female somatic nervous system coach that I can stand in the online industry. At the moment, we're looking at myth number two.

If I pivot my life, if I change my job, if I change my career, if I move countries or cities, then everything will resolve. Some of the key points that we cover together are how burnout often follows if the pattern comes with you, that pattern being scarcity, people pleasing, fear over responsibility, the fight to flight, freeze, and pivot.

Loop that shapes big decisions when it is appropriate to p pivot and when you're just recreating the same self-destructive loop that you were trying to run away from or remove and the pre or even post pivot question. Um, what might follow me into this next chapter that I want to shift now, 📍 📍

Hannah is a somatic channel and nervous system specialist. After shutting down a multi-six figures figure business due to life-threatening burnout and daily anxiety, she rebuilt her work from alignment rather than survival.

She's the founder of Untamed Divine Feminine with eight plus years of entrepreneurship experience and more than 350 hours of trauma-informed facilitation and spiritual training.

So this leads us beautifully, I think, into myth number two, which is I just need to pivot my life and my burnout will heal.

Yeah. So everyone who hasn't heard what Hannah was saying about being in relation to us, and she mentioned a couple of different things, such as saying yes, when I really should say no, such as feeling into yourself, such as saying yes to things out of scarcity. Such as like if I don't, if I say no to this, when like, will I, will my success kind of go away? Um, redefining success. There was some self-doubt and stuff. Go back to myth number one because you'll, um, we're not going to repeat ourselves here, but that also lights some color around this myth. Yeah, I wanted to talk about this one because this idea of like, if I pivot then things will align and I think I'm gonna offer a bit of how I like to think about it now and also how I've gotten here. And then maybe we can re build off of that. So as we spoke about life, your nervous system, it mobilizes or demobilizes energy based off of its relationship and understanding of what's happening inside of you.

So it can increase the amount of energy you have based off of what it perceives. And say, okay, I need energy for this. Whether that is a healthy type of activation, like, ooh, buzzing, yay fun. Let's go do the thing. Similar to what you'd have when you're getting an orgasm or a fear-based response such as fight or flight. Like, oh my God, I really need to do this because if I don't, then my whole entire identity will people think of me. I better get this done. I make sure I have to. If I don't achieve this goal, then like, oh my God, I'm gonna run outta money

or flight, which can sound similar but usually has a little bit more, um, of a scattered energy and like it can tend towards running away from things and

deprioritizing things that would actually have build your success.

Such as like fear of being seen when

you want to be like a solo brand, for example. Um. So then we have freeze, which would be you demobilizing energy. So saying, wow, this problem is really big. I don't know how I'm gonna get there. I think I'm just gonna like do busy work and I'm just gonna like not have that conversation.

If you tend towards procrastination and heaviness and lethargy and really liking your sleep and Netflix, you're probably more of a freeze response. So we have these responses to things that are hard, and there's also this pivot response and what, what I've learned through my own experience in that of coaching hundreds of people through this is your response, your fight to flight or freeze. That is something that is pretty much in built in your body. It is by this point, you're at least over the age of seven years old or 15 years old. Your response is going to be a, a response that you have to life. That's your thing. Those are your tendencies. Love them. Get to know them because they're

gonna be with you for a while.

They will, you know, statistics tell us that they'll change, but statistics tell us that they will remain relatively the same over time. And so it's not about getting rid of these responses, it's about understanding them and then bolstering our life and, and creating a life where they're triggered less.

And also we have more space and capacity to respond to them. So what the hell does this mean? And about this myth of pivoting, right?

Yeah.

When we say, wow, I got really burnt out. I don't like this. Or, this is out of alignment and I'm really sad. I'm really just like sad and I'm just like not motivated. And our response is to pivot, to change careers, to change lifestyle if we're doing it, or change business strategies or change health strategies, even if we are doing it without. There's a difference between doing it in reaction to and response to misalignment versus getting deeply into alignment and d and de entangling from all of the fear-based stories and conditioning and stuff that is not helpful, and then pivoting in response to that. That takes longer and comes later.

But if you do it because you're like, wow, this didn't work, I'm gonna switch.

Mm.

You are taking with you, Hannah, you said this so well. Wherever you have, wherever you are,

There you are. Whatever there. You'll be, you're taking with you all of those relationships or to the way that you relate to other people saying no to you, the way that you relate to money, the way that you relate to opportunities, the way that you relate to, um, getting up early in the morning or even the way that you relate to responsibility and work or other people's expectations, judgment of yourself, other. People may be judging you your own, how seriously you take your own intuition or how you feel about being a woman or a man or a woman or a man in your industry. All of those things that carry so much energy, you taking them with you

Mm-hmm.

and those are the things that are depleting you not, I'm not saying your career wasn't, maybe it was if you're a shift worker or you have to work in a specific industry that is difficult for you, then probably it's depleting, but maybe it's 30% and not 70% of

what's taking your energy.

Hannah, what do you think?

Yeah, I, I totally agree with this. Actually, a friend said this to me when I was, um, she also worked in events at the time and was, as I was, we were both kind of talking about trying to move away from it and actually towards similar work, um, that we do now with like breath work and supporting clients and energy work.

And she said to me, you could work in like five different jobs and experience the same thing if you're not willing to look at these patterns that you might be bringing with you into this new environment. And I think that that speaks so beautifully to what you just said there, that like, this can be the case with moving to a new job, moving to a new city.

If the burnout is coming from patterns, like you said, if that's the majority of where that burnout is coming from, rather than your environment or your situation. Then those patterns don't just magically get left behind at the old job or in the old city. Um, they come with you because they are patterns, they're imprinted on your system, on your nervous system.

And those do take time, especially as you get older. You were mentioning their right that like some of them are kind of set and that doesn't mean that we can't make tweaks or changes or support them for different outcomes, but a lot of, you know, once you're into your adult life, a lot of the way that you react to things is set.

And I will say, especially as someone who is neurodivergent, some of the ways that I react or don't realize that I am on the edge of burnout because I don't have that, my brain doesn't work in the same way. I don't get the same alert system. I can blow past my signals much more easily potentially than another person.

And so that. That doesn't just magically dissipate because I'm like, oh, I've changed, I've changed paths now so I'll be good. Um, and I've seen this happen in clients. I've seen it happen actually in my sister, like going from job to job thinking, okay, this will be better. And really being intentional about it.

Not like, yes, there are some of some situations where we just abandoned ship and we're like, I'm just gonna go over here 'cause I don't wanna deal with this anymore. But in a lot of cases people are like, whoa, this really isn't working. I'm gonna be really intentional about the next place I interview with, or the next type of client that I take on.

I'm gonna really think about like, what is my ideal client? What is my ideal work situation? And ask the questions like, how do you, what's your culture like? How do you support, you know, these things that I might need? And then you get into the situation and you're six months in or a year into the new experience and you're like.

Wait a second. This feels really familiar. What is happening? I thought I did the things, I thought, I asked the questions. I thought I paused and reflected enough to not have this happen again. And then I think that can be really discouraging because then you're like, well, that means it's, I'm the problem here.

It's not the work. It's not the um, relationship. It's me because this pattern is reemerging. And while that's not wrong, it is you. It's not because you're broken. It's not because you should just like sit down and give up and you're always gonna hate your work, or you're always gonna be in a relationship that doesn't work for you, or whatever that looks like.

It's where can we look at ourselves and say, Hmm, okay. Like I have this. I realized I had this deep belief that like I didn't even fully understand until the words came outta my mouth. That success equals struggle. So for me, the only way I was ever gonna be successful is if it was hard and if it like, pained me to get here or to get to achieve my goal.

So, of course I'm gonna end out, end up in cycles of burnout because I think that I'm an ambitious person. I really wanna be successful. It has to be hard to get there,

and that burnout is just a byproduct, right?

Yeah. Yeah, I've, I heard that. I hear that one so much. I don't think I've ever felt, felt that one, that the thing that was coming up for me, as you were saying, that was this like belief that I had, that I actually fought, like my ego fought to hold onto it and was like, no, this is absolutely everyone else. And then I was like, oh, this keeps happening. Is this a me thing? Was this like belief that was, I don't know. And I think maybe it has something to do with, um, growing up neurodivergent being like diagnosed. Maybe it has

something to do with losing my hair when I was a kid. Maybe it doesn't, but this feeling of like, people criticize me.

Like people tell me,

people always tell me that there's something wrong and that they're not on my side and that they are not, it was like this, this feeling of like, they're out to get me. And so

that meant that I was like always moving through life in this more protected mode.

And I. It's kind of hard because it's such a both end situation because I think that for me to realize that I actually did need to see those same patterns coming up in a very, very different context and a different type of, um, environment or client or team, because that way my brain was like, had the space to be like, whoa, that's really different.

They are really different people and I'm, I still feel the same way

and I think I'd built enough. And this is, you know, coming off of a decade of like consistent somatic practice and discipline and of compassion and discipline of self love and reparenting to just be like, wait a second. Oh wait, that's actually not me.

And it doesn't necessarily have to be this heavy thing. I think when we do this. Practice and work over and over again. And we allow, and we build up the capacity to relate to ourselves without judgment and without shame. And we learn that shame and judgment is not necessary to create change

or to be a good person.

'cause that was something, or that's something that I know a lot of myself and my clients have dealt with. Maybe it's the Catholic upbringing of like, or like the authoritarian parents that are like, let's judge you into being a good person.

Yeah.

Um, when I learn that that's not necessary, then oh, oh shit, I didn't need to be so hard.

Like, that's actually not true. That might not have been true in the past. Um, so in some ways pivoting can help us see

these things, so I don't know. But you still gotta sit with them

either before the pivot.

or after the pivot.

totally. And I think that actually that leads to something that I thought would be a nice sort of takeaway, um, for you listening when you are feeling on the precipice of a pivot. Because listen, a pivot is awesome. Like

I love a pivot.

cha, love the pivot. Like change the relationship, move to the new city, like change your job, change your career.

Like these things are exciting and we have them at our fingertips to learn and grow and challenge ourselves. But when we are about to embark on a pivot or make a decision to, to make a big change in our life, sitting with, okay, what might follow me into this next chapter

That's a

that I would like to leave here or that I would like to shift my relationship to?

Like if I go to this new city or this new job. This thing comes with me, I'm gonna be really bummed. Like, that's not gonna feel good. And how could I proactively make sure that doesn't happen? Um, just in case, you know, in case this isn't the answer to all my problems, which I think is just, it's a nice way to reflect, right, of like what could be, what could be the reason that this pattern is here or this situation is happening and how could I, um, grow into my next chapter.

I like that. That's a nice takeaway.

Beautiful. I'm so glad you like that. It's something that I have used and need to remind myself to continue to use as

I just wrote it down. I'm like, I'll journal on that one later and

put it in a box.

Thanks so much for listening, guys. Myths number one and three are on Hannah's podcast, the Untamed Divine Podcast. I'll pop the link down in the show notes We are covering. Myth one, do aligned work and you'll never burn out. And myth three, burnout is a big event. They're really good and all of them kind of lap and loop onto each other.

It's one of my favorite conversations that I've had in a really long time on the podcast. So, um, yeah, go ahead and check it out.