📍 You know when you put hours into a launch or a sales page or a caption or an email, and either you can't launch it or you launch it and you hear nothing, sometimes the problem isn't the offer. Sometimes it's that you are operating from overwhelm or freeze or perfectionism and burnout because your clients are as sensitive as you are.

They can feel it. And you do not feel like a safe person for them to put their time, money, and energy into, they're not gonna invest with you. 📍

This episode comes because I was speaking to somebody who was utilizing som ai. Soma AI is the cha GBT that I created that is like having the perfect trauma informed, nervous system aligned coach. In your back pocket, you can utilize it. If you are working at a marketing agency, you can utilize it for your own business.

You can utilize it if you are a lawyer. But one of the things that somebody is using it for, she was telling me, she's like, I use Soma because I kept tweaking all of my content and I just, I couldn't like make it right. And I'm launching this specific product, actually a service. I'm launching this service.

And it, it just, I was getting overwhelmed and I was like doing all of the things and then when I would actually post things out, like I just, I wasn't able to sign any clients. So today's episode, we are not just talking about why you freeze, spiral, and overthink and overdo your way into exhaustion, but also how a regulated nervous system is actually the foundation of high retention, low effort, burnout, proof sales.

It's not just about being trauma informed, even though that is really important and hey, I'm asking you to do that, but this is actually just like smart, right? So if there's that skeptical or analytical part of you saying like, okay, cute, cute, love, all this nervous system stuff, what are you, like a catchment theory interesting, but does it make me money and will it actually help me build my business?

Good. That part is welcome here today, and we're going to speak directly to it. Let's dive in.

Inside of Somatic Intelligence for Success, which is my book, I break down what perfectionism is from a nervous system lens, which means that it's not self-sabotage, it's not like a flaw or it's a freeze response, and that's a nuanced statement. It is some version of a freeze response. There's a lot of technicalities in there.

This podcast is not the place we get into them, so a lot of the time that. Part of you that wants everything to be perfect and might freeze, and either in a sales conversation or,

and so we're looking at two things here. Number one, how do I create. A secure and sustainable sales pipeline. And number two, how do I work with all of my weird tendencies that get in the way of that? Because on the other side of this are just connections that feel sustainable, that are easy to do at different phases of your life, that feel coherent, that feel aligned, that feel spacious, that have really deep connections with your clients and you.

That's where we have like the other side of that sustainable business that moves through different, economic ups and downs. But before we get there, we're all gonna come up against our own stuff. So for some of you, it's going to be perfectionism and it's going to be that you are trying to do a thousand different things and you get nothing done and you postpone momentum.

You don't actually share anything. Nothing ever comes out you stole that drains your confidence. And. You kind of spiral and push it and you're, you're just like infusing your whole business with fear and your audience feels it, and their body says, I don't trust this. Which is why inside of the academy we don't just help you write better copy.

We help you co-regulate. In your copy and bring that into your copy. We help you anchor into safety so that you have resonance, not pressure, or maybe for some of you, you go into hustle mode, you like have lots of urgency and lots of quick things, and like it's really scattered and you're available all of the time.

And there's just like push, push, push, push, push, push, push and like hustle. Go, go, go. More, more, more. And. People feel that as well, and it has this like scattered energy of like, okay, like why are you so like I'm con like it's con, it's confusing and a confused nervous system will not purchase anything. So in my book, somatic Intelligence for Success, I reference this key principle from Polyvagal theory, which is that safety precedes action.

Which means that if your client's nervous system doesn't feel safe, they can't think clearly by confidently and stay engaged. Now, it doesn't mean that they won't. They may not buy. I am not saying that every single person or every single time that you've spent money on something, you have felt 100% safe.

We have sales psychology that is manipulative, that is set up to take advantage of your urgency response that wants to convert you, but you are here because you don't wanna work in that way. And I would argue that it's actually not a very good business idea to work in that way because short term customers that end up with buyers remote or are annoyed, are not fun to work with and do not make reputable businesses long, sustainable, resilient businesses.

Are made off of safety clients that become raving fans of your work because they felt safe before they felt resonant. So instead of trying to convert people, what if your job was to simply help their body feel safe enough to say yes to whatever it is that you have that can help them, that you can share with them?

And it's not just ethical, it's in, it's incredibly effective because it's evidence-based. So why this works for your logical brain? It is strategic because we know a couple of things. Secure attachment, when a client is, has secure relationship with your product and they know that it's there when it needs to be, that they can return to it when they need it, but that they don't like, they can be themselves in it, that there's no like high expectations from it, that they're not going to be disappointed or like there's no icky feelings.

I could go in. To that, like especially for service based industries, like I can go into that like. Thing when they know that your wellbeing doesn't rely on them and they know that they can be themselves and engage with your product when and how they need to, that actually increases the client lifetime value because number one, they feel like they can come back over time.

And we have like a sustainability and, and a trust that is created within you and them. And nobody else. Not nobody else, but it put sets you apart from other people. And number two, um.

Number two is that when we look at it from a business standpoint, gaining clients is the most expensive thing we have. How much client acquisition, how much does it cost? It's more affordable and effective to continue working with a smaller number of clients than to focus on getting new clients.

Regulated. Buyers are also more likely to complete your programs and continue working with you as you develop and as you change, and as they change. Emotional safety reduces refund rates and bias. Remorse and trust-based funnels are not only easier to set up, but they convert more slow clients who often become the most loyal clients.

This isn't feel good energy. This is neuroscience. This is based in business psychology, and it's actually what works in a saturated attention fragmented market where everybody's doing a thousand different things and the biggest question you're answering is why do they have to pay attention to you? And how are you different?

Well, what you, what is different is that you have a relationship with them, and so your nervous system doesn't become separate from your sales strategy. It actually becomes a strategy because your nervous system is what creates the practices of sales and marketing inside of your business. Such as when your body says, I am safe to be seen and to be messy in this relationship, your voice gets clearer.

You don't overwork, you don't overthink. Your message sharpens. Your audience knows exactly who that's for, and they respond and they feel safe enough moving through their emotional experiences, different life phases and coming into your work when they need. I had a client who was recently experiencing this and like, you know, she's.

She's so talented. She's done so many things, but launching is really hard for her. So she would obsess over the words that she was choosing, the colors on the branding. She would like stop responding to her own emails, and every single time she learns, she launched something, she, she would burn out because somewhere she was operating from this belief of like, this is the thing, if I get this launch wrong, if I don't meet these numbers and I fail, and then nobody will love me.

Nobody will love me. Everyone will realize that I am, I've, I've tricked them. I'm wrong. And this is like, there's thousands of books written about this. We, we know that us, especially as females, we have this feeling of like, if they find out, they're gonna know that I'm not smart. So with her, we let the strategy go.

And we just started focusing on bringing more safety and security into knowing and trusting herself and her ability to work and advocate for herself and her ability to know that she could make money in different types of environments and economies. We just developed that like self-efficacy inside. We taught her and we made a plan of how to, like, how do I regulate before I create?

How do I feel safe knowing that? I can fail. We use heaps of, not I, I don't think it's necessarily tools. It's like there are tools that we use, but it's more about finding her own pathway back down so that she felt safe failing. She felt safe with fine saying no, and then her communication got easier and her to-do list was now suddenly done.

So she did launch and she did meet her numbers and she didn't burn out. She was tired after a little bit. She didn't burn out. She said goodbye to all urgency practices that people thought told her that she needed, you know, so you have to like, I don't know all that cell psychology advice that you're supposed to need, but most of all, I think for her, the biggest thing was that she felt really proud of how she was slowing up and she was sleeping really well.

So she's making sales and sleeping. And doing it in a way that she's really proud of. While it is highly individual and beyond strategies and formulas, here are three steps that I think you can take, to help you apply this today. Number one, name what you are experiencing, and meet yourself where you are.

Instead of judging yourself for overthinking. Recognize that, oh, okay. It's actually safe to be the overthinker. This morning we, I had a client inside of my imposter syndrome workshop, and she's practicing embodying the overthinker so that she's actually okay. Her body knows it's okay. It is safe to go into my protective mechanisms.

I don't have to be afraid of them. It's okay if I'm an overthinker and recognize that it's a nervous system response, but not necessarily one that we need to get rid of. That's, ah, this is me. This is me protecting myself. What beauty. And then bring that regulation into your creation. So like feeling the body in the chair, feeling that you're just creating something.

You're not trying to manipulate, you're not trying to get a result. You're in the process of creation for the process of creation. And let that come, that message come from yourself, your authentic self, your regulated self, your curiosity, your fun. And build into your messaging and your marketing secure attachment.

Things such as, I trust your timing. You're welcome here. Like this energy of you don't owe me anything. Because what we're doing then is we're actually bringing forward the people that are ready for that as well. And. It is a funny little psychological thing, whereas where they feel free to work at their own pace and time and they know that you are not holding them to any expectations or energetic, weird stuff.

Now you're a person that they can trust and now they actually want your things. That is how your nervous system becomes your style strategy. Let this be your turning point. Inside of the academy we, we have a, one of the things that I teach my clients is how to receive hold and circulate more money utilizing attachment theory. So developing more of a secure attachment to money so that you can translate that secure attachment into your sales and marketing, and therefore.

Feel better, make more sales, do better marketing. A really good place for you to get started. Leaning into that and learning about that is actually with episode number 144 called receive hold and Circulate More Money with Attachment Theory. I will make sure that I link that down below. You'll also find the link to Soma ai.

Make sure that you download it now so that you're part of the first 100 people who will access it for free and my book so that you can apply all of these things in real life and to take things deeper. You are always welcome inside of the academy. Our doors are open a couple of times a year and you get updated information about where that when you are on my email list and you send me a message, sending you so much love.

I'll speak with you soon.