The Non Negotiable Trauma Work Of Making More Money – Profitable Business Training

Money plays a central role in our lives, impacting our sense of security, belonging, and the way we experience the world. Understanding how your nervous system and ancestral patterns influence your financial behaviors and beliefs can provide you with valuable insights.

By the end of the episode you’ll know

The one stance towards money that creates profit
The generational, embodied patterns you MUST undertand if you want to increase your capcity to earn, spend and save.
The surprising connection between your money, parents, ancestors and rats.

Create sustainable, simple and strategic $5k months with The Embodied Entrepreneur – The Immersive Workshop and Nervous System Training

Inside this *free* immersive workshop, you’ll learn…⁠

-The ONE question you need to ask yourself to find more ease and less anxiety throughout your day

-What you MUST know if you want to create sustainable income in 2023 without chronic burnout or overworking

-The UNPOPULAR advice that helped me save thousands of dollars and hours in becoming a full-time coach

-The ONLY strategy you need to 2x your income and impact

-The 4 nervous system foundations to create more pleasure and ease and success in business

TRANSCRIPT:

[00:00:00] Money can be really complicated. You’re about to learn why, as well as a simple path to more money and more profit. By the end of the episode, you’ll know the one stance towards money that creates profit, the generational embodied patterns you have to understand if you want to increase your capacity to earn, spend, and save, and the surprising connection between your money, parents, ancestors, and Rats.

[00:00:40] So as much as so many of us would like to pretend that our connection to money is noble and easy and abundant, just like that influencer that we follow on Instagram or the person that books for reading money is extremely complex. Our relationship with money is complex and complicated because it [00:01:00] represents the most primal survival needs.

[00:01:03] resources, connections, tribe, food, roof over our head, et cetera. And because of that, it becomes extremely and inherently activating to the nervous system because of his inherent activation. It’s not enough just to do mindset work or read a book or listen to a podcast even, or even just learn about how to manage money or anything.

[00:01:28] It’s definitely not enough just to try and push yourself into specific habits around money by having enough willpower to stick to a budget or look for the perfect budgeting app or spreadsheet. Your relationship to your money or your lack of money is mapped through your nervous system. Attachment style and most subconscious beliefs.

[00:01:50] Only an untangling and a reconfiguration of this complex relationship with money through nervous system and subconscious work with respect to your trauma around money [00:02:00] will allow you to increase your capacity to receive, circulate and save money with confidence.

[00:02:08] this is Freya. She is my little co host who asks the questions. That you’re asking as you guys learn to build a business from an embodied space, uh, that’s profitable and anxiety free. Now. Okay. This is a lot of things. I want you to remember and think about number one, your relationship with money is built into your nervous system.

[00:02:31] Your nervous system has a relationship with money. Your body feels a certain way when it looks at certain numbers, you have certain thoughts when you have certain numbers and this all comes. The first place it comes from is how your body perceives these certain numbers. Your body, your nervous system kind of.

[00:02:46] It brings that information in and then it goes through into your beliefs. It goes through into your memories. It uses the intelligence of the nervous system and the brain to create a story around [00:03:00] those specific numbers and to make sense of them. And then once it has that story and that understanding, it sends you thoughts, sends you emotions and it inspires action or inaction.

[00:03:10] Now your nervous system takes all of this information. From up until seven generations past, right? So your nervous system is going to have specific pieces of understanding the world that my nervous system doesn’t have because we have different ancestors. Now, if your ancestors grew up in a similar environment to mine, Maybe they’re even from the same country.

[00:03:34] Maybe they’re, you know, maybe we have things in common in our ancestral line. Then most likely you and I are going to share some fundamental ways of seeing money. But it doesn’t mean we’re going to share the same wants because there are so many things that are affecting it. Now this is when I say that your relationship to money has something to do with your ancestors and rats.

[00:03:53] Because there was a study shown that showed, , it did a test on rats and what it did [00:04:00] was it And this is kind of an ugly study, but a really good one in that it gave us a lot of information. I had a cat, right? Sorry, a rat. And it electrocuted the rat every time the rat saw a red light. So the rat would see a red light and they’d receive an electric shock.

[00:04:17] And it did this. Then afterwards of doing that for a little while, they impregnated the rat and the rat had little rat babies and then they would show the rat babies a red light and the rat babies would have a stress response from the red light, even though those specific babies had never received any type of pain or discomfort.

[00:04:36] from a red light. It’s just a red light, but their nervous system was carrying the information from their mom, which is red light equals danger equals stress response. And what they did was they kept breeding these rats and they kept showing the rats a red light and just seeing up until what point the rats stopped reacting to the red light with a stress response because their nervous [00:05:00] system felt that it was danger.

[00:05:01] It took seven generations to basically yeah. meaning that for seven generations, the rats were still holding the information about that specific import, the red light in their nervous system, that it was dangerous. So our nervous system has that same relationship with money, which means that your relationship with money really depends a lot on what your ancestors experienced, how they felt about it, what their financial.

[00:05:32] was the things that they went through. So I want you to start just like, think about that. Like what was your grandmothers and grandfathers and their ancestors relationship with money? Did they grow up doing war? Did they grow up during depression? Did they have a lot of money? Did somebody suffer some big tragedy around money?

[00:05:50] Was there a betrayal? Did somebody even lose, you know, sometimes families, like they go into business together and then they lose their. They’re brother, because there was an argument around Lennie. [00:06:00] What type of tension may have occurred through your ancestral line? And if you’re not sure, Do some research, like actually ask your parents about this, ask, you know, your aunt about this, ask your grandma about this.

[00:06:14] Even do some research into the historical events that were happening around that time. You know, seven generations is pretty far back and it is really interesting to start thinking about, well, I don’t know heaps about my ancestors, but like for me example, I know that But further up the line of my ancestors, they were born, I can’t remember in what year now, but I know that they were born in Holland in that year.

[00:06:36] So what’s really interesting for me is to kind of put that year into Google and look at what was happening in Holland and begin to really understand like this whole entire view around our ancestors. Um, so that you can understand, okay, what are like the inbuilt patterns that my nervous system might be holding?

[00:06:55] That’s really, really, really, really, really important and can be very, very [00:07:00] enlightening to help us understand your relationship or even your expectations of money. Think of it like that. What are my expectations of money? Do I expect money to always be there? Do I expect money to be there sometimes and then go away?

[00:07:12] Do I expect money to cause me pain? Do I expect money to cause me pleasure? Do I expect that good people have money? Do I expect that bad people have money? Do I expect money to be neutral? Is like, what are the things that I’ve learned about money and my ancestors have learned about money? I just kind of spoke a little bit about expecting money to be there and then not be there.

[00:07:36] And what I’m talking about here is our attachment to money. So we have something called an attachment style. There’s a book called attached that really just speaks to this so well. Um, if you haven’t read the book attached, I would highly recommend that you do. I will see if I can remember who wrote it and put that in the, I think the guy’s name was a mere something I’ll put it in the show notes, but attached [00:08:00] basically tells us what our nervous, sorry, attachment style tells us what our nervous system perceives will happen in relation to getting our needs met.

[00:08:07] By caregiver. In this case, we’re going to just recognize that when we’re a kid, when we’re a baby, our caregiver is usually like our parents, whatever caregiver is replacing our parents. And we’re concerned when we’re a child about whether or not mom and dad are going to be there in order to help us get our needs met.

[00:08:26] We depend on them for everything. And then what happens is we stop having to depend on them. We begin becoming independent. And now. We depend a little bit on mom and dad and a little bit on a job. We have to start earning money. So all of a sudden like we’re considering paying rent or we need to buy our own shoes.

[00:08:45] So we need to buy our own things and we’re paying for you know, our own concert tickets and all of that stuff and then we have a mortgage and all of a sudden the way that we get our needs met is yes by our caregivers still in some ways, but more and more as we grow older [00:09:00] it’s by money. We need money to function.

[00:09:03] What used to be, I get food because I cry and mom gives me food has now become, I get food because I go to work, make money and then go buying food and then I cook it. And so now our attachment style is translated to our relationship with money because that is the main way that we receive resources.

[00:09:26] It’s also one of the main ways that we receive belonging. Having money or being in a certain income bracket will dictate who you get to be friends with, who you spend time with, how people perceive you, how you feel that you are perceived. It’s kind of sad to think about it a little bit, but it’s also just true, you know, like it’s hard to be friends with somebody who you’d never meet because you guys are in different income brackets and have different hobbies.

[00:09:50] That’s just like the truth of it. And so, and then we have the whole thing of like, what do people think about me? If I have this close or if I do that, or if I want to stick to this budget or [00:10:00] if I don’t have an iPhone, you know, we have all of those little insecurities that can sometimes appear in questions and our own way of even judging other people.

[00:10:06] Like you’ve looked at other people before and don’t tell me that you haven’t where you’re like, well, they. Like you make a judgment about their financial situation based on their clothes and their shoes, right? So our money is what we’re using now to help us get our needs met because we’re using our caregivers less.

[00:10:25] And so to break it down very simply, we can have three different attachments. Now this is very, very simple. Maybe in another podcast, I’ll go further into it, but we have two different insecure attachments, which is anxious and avoidant. And then we have one secure attachment insecure attachment. called the anxious attachment is the type of attachment to money where like you’re not really sure if it’s gonna come back.

[00:10:50] It’s like, oh, is it gonna be there? Is it not gonna be there? Am I gonna have enough? I’m not really sure. I’m really worried. I just want to like save enough just for a rainy day. But like you never actually [00:11:00] enjoy your savings and it’s like, oh, you just you want to keep it really close to you. And you’re really nervous and like it might run away and some people who have this have really big savings accounts.

[00:11:10] And they never like use them for anything, but some people don’t, and they just feel fearful around money, but then like they. They still kind of struggle to keep a, keep a grasp of it because they’re acting from so much fear that they’re unable to access that really neutral, regulated, creative, and um, part of their brain that has a lot of perspective and can manage that money well.

[00:11:35] Then we have our avoidant money attachment, where it’s kind of like, one, I, like, as soon as money comes in, I find things to spend it on. I don’t even know if I want to have money. I feel really uncomfortable looking at my bank account. You’re like, Oh, I just don’t want to think about money. And you might even notice that no matter how much you work, it’s like your savings account never really grows.

[00:11:58] Um. [00:12:00] Or you’d have no idea what your money is doing. An anxious attachment usually has a pretty good, like you can probably, I had a client say this last week. She’s like, I know every single day what my bank account is down to the cent. That tells me that she has probably more of an anxious attachment.

[00:12:15] Then I had another client that’s like, I just want to make enough money so that I never have to think about it. And I’m like, Hmm, this is a sign that there’s an avoidance because we’re trying to do something so that we can avoid having a relationship with money. Cause it makes something uncomfortable.

[00:12:28] You know what I mean? Then we have our secure attachment to money as secure attachment to money is like I trust That when I need money, money is going to show up for me. I know how to make money. I feel pretty neutral when I like, interact with money. You know, I don’t have any big feelings about anything.

[00:12:48] I, like, it’s pretty good. Like, it’s pretty, you know, there’s a lot of money neutrality. I can look at things strategically. I don’t attach my worth to my bank account. I don’t attach my level of safety to what’s happening in [00:13:00] my bank account. I know how to bring more money in. I know when it’s safe to just kind of relax and think about other things.

[00:13:07] Like we’re just feeling pretty good around money. And I also have an income high enough and savings high enough that I don’t actually need to worry, but. I’m not, not worrying from an avoidance space, I just feel good about it and know what I need to do. It doesn’t mean that there aren’t sometimes difficulties and like stresses and obstacles in your money, in your relationship with money.

[00:13:31] You know, maybe there’s a change in your financial circumstance or you’re building a business and it requires a different, um, level of investment of time and money. Um, but it just like you feel empowered around it. It doesn’t cause stress. It will never keep you up at night. It’ll never create arguments between you and your partner or it’ll never be awkward between you and your friends.

[00:13:51] Right? It’s just, yeah, cool money. Okay. Love it. Lovely. Beautiful. And that [00:14:00] is the most important thing that you need to understand because. Everything you do around your money, if you do not understand your attachment around it, and if you do not work to create a secure attachment, then you’re going to be coming from this stress response, which makes it so much harder to be creative and to be clear and to set goals and to look at them with perspective and clarity and to be strategic and to.

[00:14:27] Be in states of hope and positivity, which is essential for actually bringing more money in some of the biggest millionaires in the world. And I, I don’t know if I can name names right now because I’ve forgotten, but they often talk about how the way that millionaires make money is choosing to be in hope and positivity when the rest of the world is in fear.

[00:14:50] And that’s what I want for you, for you to be able to access that empowerment instead of coming from fear because fear. It stresses you out, causes stress [00:15:00] on your body, your mind, your emotions, and it makes it very difficult to see opportunities. So the one stance towards money that creates profit is neutrality from a secure attachment.

[00:15:15] How do we create a secure attachment? So if you’re on anxious and you’re on avoidant, how do we bring you back to a secure attachment? The answer is trauma healing. Now, trauma healing in some places is going to be like going back into the past and the trauma and just like experiencing it and closing the loop and it’s, it’s very orient towards reparenting or in a child work or I like to use IFS parts work a lot with my clients.

[00:15:41] That’s true. But sometimes it’s also just like showing up and creating a sense of self trust. And so sometimes it’s beginning to understand what your relationship with money is, observe it and then take actions from another place. Sometimes it’s awareness, sometimes it’s bringing more pleasure into when you [00:16:00] spend money or when you save money.

[00:16:02] Sometimes it’s looking at the shame that you carry around money or the guilt. guilt. Sometimes it’s re re wiring or expanding your beliefs around money or beliefs around yourself and money or people and money. Sometimes it’s understanding the story that your body tells you about money is maybe a little bit different to what your mind tells you about money.

[00:16:23] And then maybe even different to your actual reality. An example of this would be like my client that I mentioned, she said, you know, I know exactly how much money I have and I, and I just feel like I’m, I’m going to run out. I feel like I’m going to run out my body. It just gives me this like sense of like, I’m going to run out, but I can logically look at my bank account and say, no, you have enough money that you, you, you’re going to, it’s going to be okay.

[00:16:45] You have enough money, you have a job, you’re fine. And then. That’s what it says. And then the reality is like she has more than enough. And so just understanding that all of these things are very different. So [00:17:00] we need to do trauma healing around your relationship to money. Your relationship to money acts in a cycle.

[00:17:09] There’s money meets you and it tunes to you and you get your needs met by money. You’re able to buy the things that you want. You’re able to experience the life that you want. You get the resources, you get the sense of belonging, you feel safe. And then oftentimes there is a disruption in your attachment with money.

[00:17:26] There is a time where you thought you were going to have money and now you don’t have it or because of lack of money, you can’t do a certain thing that you really wanted to do with your friends. And now you don’t feel like. You know, you missed out on something and it’s very painful for you or maybe because you have more money than other people, they made judgments or perceived you and treated you in a different way.

[00:17:48] And if that experience isn’t repaired, then we have trauma. So a lot of the time the work that I do with my clients is going in and repairing [00:18:00] their relationship with money in the same way that you would repair a disruption or a conflict in a relationship with a loved one of yours. When we are able to go in and repair, we are able to expand your beliefs, to expand your relationship with money and to move towards a secure attachment where you can access neutrality, creativity, ingenuity, peace, that balanced feeling, which in the end is what brings in more money.

[00:18:28] If you are building your own business, if you are a coach or a service provider, or you’re just an entrepreneur who wants to create an anxiety free body based business, and you’re interested in working one on one with me and healing your own financial trauma so that you can bring more money in, you can earn more, you can save more, you can circulate more and do more good in the world.

[00:18:50] I recommend that you check out my training called the embodied entrepreneur.

[00:18:54] This is a nervous system training that will help you create 5k months by learning to read your own [00:19:00] body based business compass. It’s a skill anyone can learn and you’re already here beginning to learn it by just listening to this podcast. It’s completely free. And inside of it, you’re going to learn the one question you need to ask yourself to find more ease and less anxiety throughout your day.

[00:19:14] What you must know if you want to create a sustainable income in 2023 without chronic burnout or overworking the unpopular advice that helped me save thousands of dollars and hours in becoming a full time coach. The only strategy you need to double your income and your impact and the four nervous system foundations to create more pleasure.

[00:19:34] Ease and success in business. If you are at all interested in working outside of a traditional nine to five, you need to see this training you. I cannot, I cannot emphasize that enough. You need to have this information. You’ll find the link for it down below. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts. Keep going.

[00:19:53]