How To Heal The Worthiness Wound To Receive More Love And Money – Trauma Healing And Nervous System Training 

By the end of this episode you’ll know:

The missing piece between your therapeutic work, business development and the worthiness wound
The truth about charging what you’re worth
The unseen connection between worthiness, love, and money and how to use that to 2x your income and impact

Your next step: The Embodied Entrepreneur – The Immersive Workshop and Nervous System Training

Inside this *free* immersive workshop, you’ll learn…⁠

-The ONE question you need to ask yourself to find more ease and less anxiety throughout your day

-What you MUST know if you want to create sustainable income in 2023 without chronic burnout or overworking

-The UNPOPULAR advice that helped me save thousands of dollars and hours in becoming a full-time coach

-The ONLY strategy you need to 2x your income and impact

-The 4 nervous system foundations to create more pleasure and ease and success in business

TRANSCRIPT:

[00:00:00] Every single human has a desire
inside to be worthy, but your business is not the vessel with which you are
going to meet that need. by the end of this episode, you will know the missing
piece between your therapeutic work, business development, and the worthiness
wound, the truth about charging what you’re worth and the unseen connection
between worthiness, love and money, and how to use that to double your income
and your impact.

[00:00:42] So I was listening
to a podcast yesterday. And it came after I was actually on a call with a
client of mine. We’re talking about being worthy. She had recently finished an
art show and she was having a lot of thoughts about like, is this good enough?
Is my work good enough? Um, you [00:01:00]
know, is my marketing strategy good enough?

[00:01:02] Did people like it
enough? Am I going to be able to, is this working type thing? When we went
deeper, we discovered that is this working was really coming from the fear of,
am I good enough? Am I worthy enough? Do I, Provide enough value and that
earlier that morning I’d listened to a podcast and I actually really liked this
podcast, but the guy said something that I really didn’t agree with.

[00:01:27] And he talked about
how we want to be creating inside of the work that we do, like we want to be,
he was talking about how, like how to be confident, right? How to be confident
in your work. And all that. And he basically said, you know, the way that we
become confident in our work is by providing skills that of our value to
people.

[00:01:49] That’s how we know
that we are worthy. His theory or his argument is that if we can learn how to
do things in a way that provides value to other people, [00:02:00] then we become a valued member of society and we have
worth. And. He’s not totally wrong. He’s just asking a, he’s answering the
question. Am I worthy and how to become more worthy?

[00:02:18] It actually doesn’t
really, it shouldn’t really exist. It’s a silly question. It’s not silly if
you’re asking it, but it’s silly in that the answer is so damn obvious. And so
he’s not wrong in that. How do I become a more valued member of society? How do
I provide more value to society is for some people in some circumstances going
to mean that they need to develop more skills that bring value to that society.

[00:02:45] But value isn’t
based on the skills that you have. Value can just also be you being you. Value
can be the smile that you have. Value can be your perspective, the way that you
see things. It’s a little bit value is more nuanced than that. [00:03:00] But he was trying to answer the question.
Am I worthy or am I enough by answering the question?

[00:03:06] how can I bring more
value to society and This is that missing piece between therapy and a lot of
personal development and a lot of professional development That just we just
you guys are running around in circles trying to figure out the answer to this
question It’s, it’s silly. It’s not neat. It’s not needed.

[00:03:24] It’s like a lot of
pain that we go through trying to figure out if I’m worthy when you can’t
answer that question. How can I possibly articulate to you your worth as a
human being? It’s like trying to, how could you tell a baby, how could you tell
a baby and articulate how beautiful the baby is, the essence of that soul
inside of that baby?

[00:03:45] How could I possibly
tell that to you? How could I possibly express that with my words, which are so
limiting. If you think about you on this earth, incarnated soul, some universe
or source or God or [00:04:00] goddess,
something kind of. I took out a hand and put you there and you are worthy
because you are worthy.

[00:04:07] Like that’s it. You
are worthy because you are here because you are, you are worthy because you
are, you are because you are, because you are worthy. It’s, it’s just, you’re
beautiful. And I can say this in this, you know, podcasts that I’m recording at
my desk on a Sunday afternoon. Um, and I can say it to you over and over again.

[00:04:30] And I’m actually
never going to convince the part of you that doesn’t believe me. And I don’t
need to. You get to mistrust my worthy, that my argument that we are worthy. In
fact, I have a part that listens to this and hears this and has had so many beautiful
experiences where I rest so deeply inside of my worthiness.

[00:04:49] And I still wonder
some days, am I good enough? Because the truth is everyone has this wound. Am I
worthy? We have this wound. And it’s okay to [00:05:00]
have this wound because it’s just one of those core human wounds that we have
in a society that we live in, where it always makes us doubt ourselves and
tells us that we need to be more this and less that in order to be X, Y, Zed
good enough, right?

[00:05:14] But you’re worthy
simply because you are. And you might need to go and look at a tree and really
feel you as a human being to understand your worth. And you might need to go
and, and pray or meditate. In order to feel this, I cannot explain it to you with
words, but trust me that it’s there and you will find it through a regulated
nervous system.

[00:05:37] And so that’s why
when we have these little questions, we ask these questions of like, is it good
enough? Am I good enough? I don’t like these questions because you can’t answer
them because you can’t convince the parts of you that are doubting that they
are because the part of you that doubts its job is to doubt.

[00:05:57] And you, it’s your
job to hold it and say, I see that you’re [00:06:00]
doubting and yeah, you are. And I love you. And I’ll keep reminding you until
the day that we die because I have enough space for your doubts. I have enough
love for your doubts. I have enough confidence and clarity and compassion for
you and all of your doubts and all of your fears.

[00:06:16] And it’s all welcome
here and you’re still worthy. I don’t have to get rid of your doubts in order
to be worthy. You are worthy and your doubts are too. And so when we have these
conversations such as Oh, I want to charge what I’m worth. Like what, what are
you even trying to say? That’s what are you trying to say?

[00:06:35] You can’t charge
what you’re worth. Your worth is infinite and I can’t charge infinite. So don’t
charge what you’re worth, charge what feels appropriate for your nervous system
to receive what is on the line with the market, um, kind of value and what your
clients feel comfortable paying and you feel comfortable receiving charge based
on.

[00:06:56] Strategy, both
somatic and [00:07:00] kind of that more
logical external strategy. What is my nervous? What can my buddy get behind and
what’s the market doing? Charge on that. Your worth is independent. Your worth
doesn’t have nothing to do with what’s going on in your business. And that’s
the thing. That’s the problem is that so many of us try to somehow answer this
question of, am I worthy using our business?

[00:07:24] In the same way that
we try and use our relationships to answer the question, we think, if I can
just make this much money or achieve this thing or be on that podcast as a
guest, or if I can win this award, or if I can coach as many people, or if I
can have this collaboration or if I can have this many followers, if I can do
this thing, then I will be worthy.

[00:07:43] And the answer is
no. Then when you get to that place, you will also doubt if you’re worthy
because you are a human being and we all have a core worthiness wound. You ever
had that? Have I had that accomplished something? You’re like, yeah, it’s going
to feel so good when I get there. And then you get there and you’re like, okay,
cool.

[00:07:58] What’s next? I still
doubt [00:08:00] myself. Right. And so there is
this part of you that what this, there’s part of you that doubts your
worthiness and it projects that onto love and it projects that onto money. And
there’s this kind of unseen connection that is not, that is seldom talked
about. And what happens is if we look at the part of ourself for most of us,
and there’s going to be nuance and you are excited to learn about what this
feels like for you.

[00:08:33] But for most of us,
what’s going to happen is we have a part of us that’s like, okay, I’m not sure
if I’m worthy. Maybe this part of us was developed when we were a kid, we
didn’t do something right. And so we internalize the idea or like that we were
to blame, but there was something wrong with us.

[00:08:51] Something didn’t go
quite right. Something was very uncomfortable and we internalize that it was
something wrong with us. And we did that [00:09:00]
because children do that because it helps provide a sense of control. Because
in my head, if I can fix my worthiness. Then I can secure my safety. And so by
doubting whether or not we are worthy, what we are actually doing is providing
a very important sense of security against the groundlessness and uncertainty
of the world.

[00:09:28] Because for most of
us, especially as children, feeling into the reality of the groundlessness. And
uncertainty of the world is extremely scary and we would rather not do it. So
our mind creates all of these patterns and beliefs that stop us from doing it.
And one of those is that our mind helps us direct energy into the question.

[00:09:48] Uh, am I worthy
helps us avoid the groundlessness that we live in and what it does, if we
really connect with [00:10:00] that part of
ourselves, and you’re welcome to go and do this in a meditation, but I’m going
to save you a little bit of time as we often find that. And this has been true
in every single client that I’ve ever done this with, so over hundreds at this
point is that that part of us, really what they want is appreciation, love, and
security, appreciation, love, and security.

[00:10:23] That’s what that
part of us wants. It’s in a child. Usually they’re asking this question of, am
I good enough? Am I worthy enough? Have I done enough? Because they want love.
They want to feel loved and they want to feel secure and they want to feel appreciated
and seen and heard and held. Things that every single one of us wants.

[00:10:46] And we look for that
often in follower counts and likes and income. And did this person invite me to
this summit? Did they like that thing that I did? What did my clients say about
[00:11:00] that? We look for that externally.
We read books and we listen to podcasts and we reach our goals. And that’s not
bad guys.

[00:11:13] But what we could do
instead, which would be more effective, and this is how you’re going to
leverage this pain inside to increase income and impact, is if we can start
giving that part of ourself love and care and appreciation and security by
showing up for it every day. Speaking with it, listening to it, letting it know
that, yeah, I got you.

[00:11:38] You can doubt and I
got you. You’re still worthy. We don’t have to ask our business to meet our
inner child’s needs. We can meet it. And that is much more effective because
when you’re trying to use your business or a person or a partner or some
extent, something external to you to meet the needs. If you’re in a child, you [00:12:00] feel like you are on a roller coaster.

[00:12:01] Life is unstable.
You feel shitty inside. All your energy goes to avoiding pain. Instead of
creating and finding pleasure, entrepreneurs need to find pleasure and we need
to create. That’s how we fulfill our purpose and that’s how we make money. You
know that, that’s why you’re here. And so when we go in and we meet that part’s
needs, we separate it and we ask it to stop meeting its needs through the
business.

[00:12:35] And we say, if you,
if you need love and you need care, just tell me. And I’ll come and I’ll do my
meditation. And this is a meditation and a practice that I teach every single
one of my clients inside of my program. It gives you that sense of, I got this
in life. And then you get to show up to business as the wise CEO. And because
you’re not avoiding feeling rejected because you know how to meet that in a
part of [00:13:00] your needs, then you feel
more comfortable having more sales conversations with each, which equals more
sales.

[00:13:07] And because you’re
not worried that you’re going to be judged, you feel more confident really
speaking your mind in your marketing, which gets you more visibility, which
means you have more impact and then you have more income from that visibility.
And because you love on your inner child so much and you provided the security
and love and care that it needs, then if something happens and you have more
expenses one month than you were anticipating, you don’t go into an anxiety and
shame spiral for three days.

[00:13:38] You feel the tension
in your chest for 30 seconds, you take a few deep breaths, you move on and you
find a creative way to problem solve and you end up bringing in more money than
you had suspected because it lit a fire under you. You got creative. You got
things done. So that’s how when we go inside and we meet these needs, a skill
that I [00:14:00] teach inside of my program,
body based business.

[00:14:05] We are able to
increase our income and our impact every single time, every single time. And so
if this is something that you are curious about, that you would like to explore
more of, if you would like to heal these deep wounds inside so that you can have
more income, so that you can have more impact. I recommend that you start by
watching my nervous system training and immersive workshop called the embodied
entrepreneur inside of this free workshop.

[00:14:40] You will learn the
one question you need to ask yourself to find more ease and less anxiety
throughout your day. What you must know if you want to create sustainable
income in 2023 without chronic burnout. Or overworking, including 2024, because
some of you are going to listen to this and then, and the unpopular advice that
helped me save thousands of dollars and hours while I [00:15:00]
became a full time coach.

[00:15:01] The only strategy
that you need to double your income and your impact, you will find the note,
the link to that down below in the show notes. Once you’ve watched that, you’re
going to go ahead and book your embodied sales call, where you’re going to be able
to make a strategic plan, a strategic and a somatic plan to Increase your sales
and you’re also going to be able to learn about how my program body based
business can support you in cultivating simple, sustainable 5k months.

[00:15:33]