Sheridan Ruth

Sheridan Ruth
Burnout Support ChatGPT

5 signs your offer is dripping in shame and repelling clients – Decrease Anxiety and Increase Income for Entrepreneurs

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Listen Wherever You Get Your Podcasts

To have the most aligned clients lined up ready to purchase your offer, your first step is to learn the nervous system science that makes offers magnetic. 

Here’s the thing… 

 

You’re SO excited to share your offer and you’re sure it’s going to be a hit!!! You hit ‘share’.

 

*crickets*

 

The silence hits like a soggy blanket slapping you in the face. 

 

In today’s episode you’ll learn the 5 signs your offer is dripping in shame and repelling clients – through the lense of the nervous system. 

 

As well as… 

 

How to leverage nervous system science to create an irresistible offer that attracts the right clients effortlessly.

 

The mistakes I made (and regret) when trying to release shame and heal – helping you navigate your business journey more effectively.

 

Your next step: 

 

Join Unapologetic Offer Creation – a free, 3 day live event where you’ll be walked through the exact process I use to teach my clients how to be unapologetic in their business and craft magnetic offers they love selling and are excited to execute, confidently and consistently. 

 

You are going to learn: 

– The proven strategy to create your offer that’ll have your ideal clients flooding your inbox and your stripe account rising.

– How to use your nervous system when pricing your offer that feels like honey dropping off your tongue, and your ideal clients are magnetised to. 

– the ONE embodiment practice to sell your offer, easily and without feeling salesy 

 

This even is for the service provider who wants to create to sell their offer in an unapologetic way using proven strategy, nervous system awareness and energy embodiment.

 

You’ll walk away with your BEST sellable offer, crafted using non-anxiety inducing proven strategies. 

 

We will also be opening the doors to my new offer, Shameless Sales, where you will have the opportunity to secure an exclusive bonus.

 

Click the link below to register.

www.sheridanruth.com/shameless-sales

 

TRANSCRIPT:

 

[00:00:00] This is the nervous system science behind what you’re offer. Isn’t selling and where you may be repelling clients by the end of this episode, you will know the five signs your opera is dripping in shame and repelling clients. The nervous system response, making it hard to break this pattern.

 

[00:00:33] The common mistakes that we run into, I’ve done this as well when looking to sign more clients and how to craft a magnetic offer that uses nervous system science to bring the correct people in towards you.

 

[00:00:45] We’re going to get straight into the five signs to look out for as an entrepreneur that might tell us that your offer, your product or your service is kind of a dripping or just like Marinating in shame and as a result, repelling

 

[00:01:00] clients, number one, you feel really, really sure that the offer that you are creating is going to sell.

 

[00:01:11] You’re sure of it. But then when you post about it, there’s like, just nothing, nothing happens. And maybe you even come out of this and you’re like, well, I’m so confused. And there’s something like something must be wrong and there’s something to fix. This is number one. Number two, let’s say your business bestie just had their first successful launch or their most successful launch or your, I don’t know, the co coach inside of your program had an amazing launch and you’re witnessing it and you are feeling like you are behind.

 

[00:01:46] Or perhaps Sign number three, you find yourself consuming a lot of content, like little, you know, webinars or, um, a program or, I don’t know, reading a

 

[00:02:00] book or even having sessions with different healers and coaches and things. But you’re, and you’re investing in these things, but you’re viewing them and you feel bored.

 

[00:02:09] You walk away feeling like this thing didn’t actually teach me anything that I didn’t already know. Number four, you feel salesy when you sell and you have this basic underlying feeling of like, I don’t want to sell because I don’t want to come across as salesy. And I want to. Like provide a lot of value or something before I ask for something because I might be taking something from somebody if I sell.

 

[00:02:37] Number five, you worry about getting it right. And I’m realizing we actually are doing six today. Number six. So number five, yeah, you’re just like concerned about getting things right. Um, and picking the correct process, cooking the correct strategy, making sure that it all lines up. Number six, your jaw tenses up around sales conversations.[00:03:00]

 

[00:03:01] So. Inside of these things, you can see, I’m about to show you that there’s one thing is the event, such as your, your best friend, you know, making a lot of money on her launch or a webinar being held or. You launching something or the presence of a sales conversation, or the event might even be just lack of activity inside of your social media account or inside of your stripe account.

 

[00:03:35] That’s a neutral event, right? Then we have what your shame body makes it out to be. What your shame body, so the energy of shame that’s running through your nervous system. Make it out to be Ken will and often creates a nervous system freeze response. Your Shane body has pulled into your nervous system and it’s perceived there’s a danger.

 

[00:03:57] So it’s put you into a stress response and the one that it’s 

 

[00:04:00] chosen because the stress response that most closely correlates with the. Emotion and the energy of shame is the freeze response. You procrastinate, you freeze, everything feels heavy. Um, you get into this, I can’t move forward energy. I feel stuck.

 

[00:04:14] There’s something wrong with me. It just, it just feels very difficult to get out of. And what happens is it stops you from moving forward to actually solve the problem in your business. So the event, lack of interaction, um, maybe you’re not happy with your income, um, lack of feeling. Confident in your sales process, lack of feeling confident in the systems inside of your business, lack of feeling confident inside of your sales conversations.

 

[00:04:41] Let me give you some examples of this. Number one, when you’re really sure that your offer is going to sell and it doesn’t. An example would be that this is the event you really feel confident that your offer is going to sell and then it doesn’t. Then your shame body latches on to what probably Possibly

 

[00:05:00] may be a really genuine need for clarity around what your audience needs.

 

[00:05:06] Your shame body latches onto this and creates brain fog and confusion and procrastination. Then your thoughts go to the place of, well, what will happen if this keeps going or is there something wrong with me? And because we’re in that space, now our energy is going to managing that instead of our energy going towards having conversations with your audience in a really clear and confident way, uh, which is going to give you the information that you need in order to create an offer that is going to sell in order to actually connect with your audience to understand what it is that, that they, that they need for you to sell.

 

[00:05:41] So that you can support yourself and do it in a way that is effortless and easy for you. Or another one, your business bestie has their amazing, has an amazing launch and you feel like you’re behind. So in this one, maybe you have a genuine desire to have a certain income level or to 

[00:06:00] have, you know, 200 people in your lead magnet, but you’re, and your shame body kind of latches onto somebody else achieving.

 

[00:06:08] A similar desire, and then it uses that experience to reinforce your wounded inner child’s belief that there’s something wrong with you, which then pulls all of our energy into emotional regulation or into managing maybe some discomfort with your best friend. It pulls us into. Chaos, energy and trying to to control our emotions, energy instead of pulling us into the energy of, okay, I have this desire.

 

[00:06:38] What are the systems, what are the actions or what are the things that are gonna feel really fun and joyous to do inside of my business that are gonna pull my business fall bit number three. Okay, somebody launches a webinar or a series or something, um, and. That’s it. It sees it. That’s the event. At the same time, you have [00:07:00] this desire to have more income.

 

[00:07:02] Um, maybe you’re already feeling a lot of emotional discomfort and maybe what happens, well, maybe happening down below happens to a lot of us is that your shame body doesn’t actually believe that you are deserving of success. Success that is right at your feet. Fingertips, right, right at arm’s distance.

 

[00:07:20] And so when this masterclass or program or something is launched, even though it’s very similar to what you already know, what your shame body does, it gives you these thoughts, feelings, emotions, and impulses that make you put your time energy into this webinar. That you didn’t need so that you stay distracted so that you continue running the hamster wheel of learning one more thing, giving you really cheap dopamine that keeps you feeling busy.

 

[00:07:50] It keeps you feeling productive. It keeps you feel like you’re moving somewhere, but you’re actually avoiding the most important conversations that are going to give you information about how to serve your audience

 

[00:08:00] in a way that feels genuine and effortless to you. So the next one, okay, maybe you feel salesy when you sell and you feel like it’s taking from something.

 

[00:08:10] So in this one, we often see people who have, it’s like a very genuine need and desire for values and ethics. I. I, I fell into this one and I found this was a really genuine need. I have values and ethics, um, around my sales process. And what happened, what happened to me, what happens to a lot of you guys, my, you, my lovely listener probably is that your shame buddy latches onto this very genuine need for values and ethics in your sales process.

 

[00:08:39] And then it uses that to reinforce your wounded inner child’s belief that something is wrong from you. Well, wrong with you that there’s something not right, which then stops you from having the conversations in a way that feels embodied in a way that feels aligned in a way that feels authentic in a way that feels confident in a way that feels peaceful and

 

[00:09:00] easy and feels successful and correct inside of your body, which is what we need in order to understand what it is it that my body is.

 

[00:09:10] That my audience needs from me, how am I meant to serve and how am I meant to use my skills to serve in this world? The next one is that you worry about getting things right figuring out the answer making sure that it’s the best This might actually be that you have a real genuine need for feedback and recognition.

 

[00:09:30] We’re creators out here We actually need and it’s healthy to have Certain level of collaboration and feedback. You, I, I’m always talking to you guys about the podcast, not from a place of insecurity, but because this is a community, it’s a practice that we’re in together and I am here to serve you using my skills.

 

[00:09:49] So I want to have conversations with you. That is something that gives me life energy. That’s fun. We, we want this to be fun, light, and easy. And so you might have a genuine need for

 

[00:10:00] feedback and recognition and invitations, especially if you’re a projector in human design, like I am. And your shame body might latch onto this real genuine need and then propel you into this thought loop of perfectionism and, and procrastination.

 

[00:10:16] And then you end up hyper focusing on getting things right when it’s really not about that, even though your body. You may be struggling to believe this at times. You’re not in high school anymore, and there’s no test. And that’s going to be really scary for some parts of you, but it is essential that you understand that there’s no right way to do this.

 

[00:10:37] There’s only your way. I’ll say that again. There’s no right way to do entrepreneurship. There’s only your way. So we want to figure out what’s your best way. And we call this the semantic sales strategy. And you’ll be learning this when you join shameless sales. What’s your best way? To have sales

 

[00:11:00] conversations so that you can understand your audience and you can serve them in a way that feels aligned and effortless for you in a way that gives you life energy.

 

[00:11:11] Last one, number six, sneaky little number six, because apparently I can’t count your jaw tenses up around sales conversations. Now this one is probably that these conversations are new to you and newness equals uncertainty, which creates a fear response inside of your nervous system a lot of the time.

 

[00:11:29] And your shame body can latch onto that and augment that fear response, putting you into a freeze nervous system state. Sometimes what this is isn’t necessarily that this is activated by something that you’ve either done or haven’t done, but actually your nervous system is carrying the information from up to seven generations back behind you.

 

[00:11:51] And there are some of us whose ancestors have experienced a lot of pain and Unsafety, lack of safety around

 

[00:12:00] expression, around being creative, around being intuitive. So sometimes what happens is that your nervous system responds to a conversation about your gifts, your services, and your creation with this fear, because it’s just acting on outdated information.

 

[00:12:15] It makes harder to have these conversations. And that’s really important because we actually do need to have more of these conversations in order to prove to the body and to the nervous system that it is safe to express ourself. Now it’s safe to be creative. It’s safe to be intuitive. It’s safe to talk about money.

 

[00:12:31] It’s safe to have money, especially if you’re a woman. These, we need to have these conversations because when we have these conversations, we update the nervous system and say, okay, even though that wasn’t. Healthy and that was, sorry, even though that wasn’t helpful in the past, even though that could have caused us pain and lack of safety in the past, it is, it is now.

 

[00:12:52] And that’s actually how we do this intergenerational healing, which is going to take, you know, our society in a whole different, a whole different way.

 

[00:13:00] And that’s, I think really where we want to be going. Um, That’s a conversation for a different podcast. So those are kind of the, what’s happening behind the scenes, it’s the nervous system response that are leading to these symptoms.

 

[00:13:14] I want to share with you the The mistakes, my love, the mistakes that we make when we’re trying to release these things and trying to heal these things. Gosh, I Have fallen into these myself. I’m sure that you have. Let’s have a look and I’m not saying mistake like Like you’ve done something wrong.

 

[00:13:41] They’re just places where I think it’s less effective to focus our time and energy So number one, studying things a lot, like, you know, going down those deep rabbit holes where you get really obsessed with like human design or the gene keys or, uh, I don’t know, like. Words, , 

 

[00:14:00] copywriting, um, because you’re looking to kind of get it right.

 

[00:14:04] Right. And that’s not to say it’s not, it’s fun to study these things. I’ve studied a lot of these different things, um, and they have been very helpful. But there’s a difference when you do it from a place of I want to. figure this out so that I can get it right versus, Oh my God, I have so much abundance of free time, energy, et cetera, that, that I get to do this right.

[00:14:22] We want to, when we’re studying these things, we want to be in that place of overflow of abundance of, I get to do sit and not in the place of, I need to figure this out so that I can then achieve something. Usually when we’re in a place of, That we’re not coming from a super regulated place and it means we’re either avoiding something.

 

[00:14:43] It usually means we’re avoiding something. Um, avoiding something also appears, and this is a really common mistake, is taking time off to regroup. Obviously we need to rest. I’m a really big, uh, advocate for having a very, [00:15:00] very healthy Life outside of work, having a very fulfilling life outside of work and taking time to rest, I spend a lot of my time doing that and it’s really important.

 

[00:15:13] However, there’s a difference between doing it to satiate yourself versus taking time away so that you can avoid really important tasks that are actually going to increase the income in your business. Another mistake that we see, or that I see is. Attacking yourself, berating yourself, getting annoyed at yourself, telling yourself that you should have done this and you should have done that, and that you’re not good at this and this isn’t enough.

 

[00:15:41] It’s not nice. It’s not helping us get anywhere. Another mistake is that you focus so much on emotional regulation and convincing yourself that you’re not behind, or convincing yourself that it’s okay, or convincing yourself that it’s all going to work out, like you’re sitting and you’re visualizing a million dollars,

 

[00:16:00] and you’re like convincing yourself that it’s going to come there, That act is actually pulling you further into resistance.

 

[00:16:07] It’s pulling you further into resistance and further away from the natural flow of resources that exists when we’re all, when we’re working from a place of regulation. Um, and it’s also pulling your energy away from. The actions that might need to be done inside of your business so that it’s very, very easy for people to pay you.

 

[00:16:27] Another mistake that people make is thinking that everything needs to be complicated, that you need a funnel, that you need to do your website before you can raise your rates, that you need to have a webinar series, that you need to have a lead magnet. None of this stuff needs to be complicated. People have been making money.

 

[00:16:44] For a very long time, and it hasn’t been very complicated necessarily. Yes, there are things that we can add on. Yes, there are certain things we need to learn, but it doesn’t need to be complicated. No, it doesn’t need to be complicated. In fact, I would argue that you making it

 

[00:17:00] complicated is making it harder for people to pay you.

 

[00:17:03] Another mistake is doing so much talk therapy and affirmations to just like. Try and fix these feelings and change these feelings instead of perhaps focusing your energy on finding a body based sales strategy that works for you that sell an offer that sells and a way of executing that consistently.

 

[00:17:25] And confidently that feels correct and right. That’s what you’re going to be doing inside a shameless sales, by the way. Another mistake that people make is going really deep into pushing through and thinking that you can figure it out yourself. The truth is you can figure it out yourself. It might take you a lot longer, probably, or maybe you can’t, I don’t know.

 

[00:17:48] I don’t know. I can’t see the future, but I mean, I know that I couldn’t figure this out by myself. I know that I’ve, and I think most of my clients, we all need the support of another person’s nervous system to really help

 

[00:18:00] us tap into our gifts. Um I don’t believe in saying that nothing is possible, but I think that when you push through and you think that you can do everything by yourself from a nervous system perspective, that’s quite harmful and unfortunately not going to get you closer to what you really truly desire, especially if you’re here because you deep down you desire ease.

 

[00:18:27] You desire ease and you desire simplicity and pushing our way to money is going to mean that subconsciously we’re going to avoid money because we think that if we get it, then we’re going to have to continue pushing. That’s a podcast episode in itself. Another mistake that people make is focusing on upgrading your skills when actually so getting another certification, et cetera, when actually what you need is more confidence and experience in making sales.

 

[00:18:58] Making cells with confidence and [00:19:00] authority and regulation because when you do heal your shame body and when you do create your somatic cells blueprint in companion with a magnetic offer that uses nervous system science to bring the correct people to you, you share your offer and it receives that overwhelming response.

 

[00:19:17] It receives that high engagement, it receives sales immediately. You get to witness your best friends having a launch that inspires you and you get to go out with her and celebrate your achievements together. You get to walk away from every single thing that you invest your money in, whether it is education or getting your nails done or buying a new running jacket, to feel enriched and inspired and equipped with values that enhance your skills and enhance your authority.

 

[00:19:47] And selling feels ethical. It feels authentic. You genuinely believe in the value of your offer and its benefits for the customer and conversations just flow naturally.

 

[00:20:00] You trust your abilities and your decisions. You’re not worried about being perfect. Instead, you are focused on progress and improvement and you can feel it.

 

[00:20:08] It makes work easier. It makes you a happier person. So my dear listener, the reason your offer isn’t selling like hotcakes and other people don’t think it’s the best thing since sliced bread isn’t because there’s something wrong with you, your marketing, your sales, or even your morning routine. It’s because there was a part of you that thinks that there is something wrong.

 

[00:20:31] So many of my clients come to my work because they think that something is wrong. And through this work, we end up realizing how so damn right everything is with us. And it always has been. So you are in the right place. And yes, the idea of unapologetically claiming your desires for your work is scary.

 

[00:20:52] And it makes sense that the tension in your throat on a sales call is similar to the sensation you feel when your dad cuts you off during family lunch. [00:21:00] And it’s no wonder that it’s so hard for you to remember to eat lunch or take some days off without thinking about work, because you were taught that productivity equals success.

 

[00:21:11] And there’s nothing wrong with you. We can have everything right with us and also decide that we are ready to shift. So when you sit with me and the community that we create together inside of unapologetic offer creation and shameless sales, you will slowly begin to believe this too. You will begin to love the parts of you that you have disowned, and you will bring them forward into your work.

 

[00:21:35] You will learn to speak kindly to yourself and your creative ideas, believe in your own desires, and see how hard you’ve been on yourself all this time. You will learn to love the advantages of what you perceive as weaknesses. And use them to create an offer sales and marketing plan that reaffirms your innate goodness, creativity, and value.

 

[00:21:55] You will see how a lack of flexibility can equal easier decision making, how

 

[00:22:00] laziness can create simplicity and ease, and how self conscious can equal stronger boundaries and easier energy management. So to create an offer that is magnetic so that you have the perfect clients lining up to work with you.

 

[00:22:16] Your first step is to learn the nervous system science that makes offers magnetic by joining Unapologetic Offer Creation, a free three day live event where you will be walked through the exact process that I teach my clients how to be unapologetic in their business and craft magnetic offers they love selling and are excited to.

 

[00:22:35] Execute confidently and consistently. You are going to learn the proven strategy to create your offer that you’ll have your ideal clients flooding your inbox and your Stripe account rising. How to use your nervous system when pricing your offer so that it feels like honey dripping off of your tongue and your idle clients are magnetized to and the one embodiment practice to sell your offer easily and without feeling salesy.

[00:23:00]

 

[00:23:00] This event is for the entrepreneur that wants to sell their offer in an unapologetic way using proven strategy, nervous system awareness, and energy embodiment. You’re going to walk away with your best sellable offer crafted using non anxiety inducing proven strategies. Plus we’ll be opening the doors to my new group program, shameless sales, where you’re actually going to have the opportunity to receive a really awesome bonus.

 

[00:23:26] I will pop the link down below and it’s now open for you to register. See you in it.

 

Tangible & Effective Ways to Heal Shame, Decrease Anxiety and Increase Income for Entrepreneurs 

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Listen Wherever You Get Your Podcasts

Entrepreneurship doesn’t need to be this hard. 

 

Sales can feel easy (not icky). What you’re doing IS enough, and you can stop worrying about what the people think while still increasing income by 150%. Even when it feels hard. 

 

When I started as an entrepreneur (I was selling hats! Way back before getting certified as an Integrative Somatic Trauma Therapist) I fell into all the trap of thinking I had to be SUPER resilient, and manage all this stress, or find the right way to do sales, it felt HARD. 

 

When I found the coaching industry, I was sold this idea that I had to fix something about myself or I might never be successful (gloom and doom marketing). 

 

Now, hundreds, of clients coached, thousands of hours of coaching in my past, and a deeply soft and regulated nervous system, I’ve come to realise it doesn’t have to be so hard. 

 

It’s our shame-body that’s convincing us it ‘should be’ – keeping us running around like energiser bunnies just trying to ‘reach the next goal’. 

 

So, in today’s episode of Embodied Entrepreneur, you’ll learn 4 Tangible & Effective Ways to Heal shame, Decrease Anxiety and Increase Income. 

 

You will: 

  • Uncover 4 common symptoms of shame appearing in business
  • Learn 3 powerful somatic resources to unblend from shame and bring confidence and magentism into your business strategy.
  • Develop a business strategy aligned with your values and nervous system science to create magnetic offers and sales that resonate with your audience.

 

Reclaim your magnetism, ease and authenticity. Press play. 

 

Recommended episodes: 

80: How to magnetize clients to you – Trauma Healing, Nervous System Regulation for Anxiety-free and Profitable Business  

 

 

83: Shave Years Off Of Therapy & Double Your Income with Somatic Trauma Healing, Business Strategy and Nervous System Regulation

 

TRANSCRIPT:

 

[00:00:00] Today, You’re gonna discover exactly how to heal shame

 

[00:00:02] I’m going to go through four common ways that shame Shows up in your business three ways that you are going to use somatic and trauma involved healing techniques and tools to heal that shame inside.

 

[00:00:33] And then each shame symptom is going to have at least one business strategy suggestion and change that you can make today to increase your income in your business. Welcome to class guys. As you know, we are preparing for unapologetic offer creation and shameless sales. And doing that, we’re doing a free little mini class series.

 

[00:00:55] We’re covering up how to use shame healing to create magnetic offers and

 

[00:01:00] a share. A sales strategy that leverages your somatic needs, understands and takes into account your past trauma and uses nervous system science to create something that is effective and that you are excited to show up and execute consistently and confidently.

 

[00:01:17] This episode answers the question of, okay, so I know I need to heal shame. I know that healing shame is going to make me more magnetic. It’s going to bring. More ease into my life more clarity and stillness into my thoughts and it’s gonna increase my income But how do I do it

 

[00:01:35] Sheridan: so we’re going to go over four symptoms of shame and then four steps to Use somatic healing to heal shame and integrate that into your sales, marketing, and business strategy.

 

[00:01:47] To begin with, we need to understand that if we were toxically shamed by the many, many, many, many, many ways in. That humans, particularly parents dose

 

[00:02:00] out toxic shame to their little lumps, such as you’re a naughty boy, you’re, you did this wrong. Um, you’re, you’re bad. Don’t be so rotten. You’re a spoiled rotten, things like that.

 

[00:02:12] We will manifest that experience inside of ourselves. So inside of our biology, we will manifest and we will internalize a sense that we are quite literally bad meat. Those are Peter Levine’s words, not mine. Um, he’s a really, really wonderful leader of nervous system healing. But essentially what happens is we, we receive this, this, these messages of like, Oh, you’re a naughty boy.

 

[00:02:36] Don’t be such a bad girl. Um, things like that, et cetera. We internalize that to mean that we’re bad. We’re bad meat means that we grow up thinking that we’re distasteful or disgusting or worthless or not worthy of something good. And we bring that wiring into our nervous system. With enough time, that wiring that’s inside of ourselves, it

 

[00:03:00] actually, it’s It starts influencing our movements and our body postures, how our muscles, our meat sense the living world and respond to it.

 

[00:03:10] So we’re holding that pattern inside. And then without even realizing we’re actually expressing out into the world that we are rotten and we are bad and we are undeserving of anything good and whole. There are certain things that we need to do to actually heal this toxic, um, kind of rottenness and it’s something that many people struggle to heal.

 

[00:03:33] It’s very, very nuanced. It’s one of the harder things that I I think it’s quite elusive in that oftentimes we don’t know that we, that we need to address it. We, we end up addressing kind of like the on top things that, Oh, um, you know, uh, my perfectionist or the on top things of like, eh, like I’ll just like perf, uh, I’ll either address my perfectionist or I’ll perfect my, my launch plan, right?

 

[00:03:58] If I can get this right, then [00:04:00] I won’t have to really sit with the fact that I think that I’m kind of, there’s something wrong with me. Um, or if I can heal my perfectionist that I won’t have to address. The fact that deep, deep down below that, I have this feeling that there’s something wrong with me. And so even though we have the perfect launch plan, and even though we have a lot of awareness around the perfectionist, your body is still holding this pattern and it’s still acting in ways that other people’s nervous systems are understanding, um, is quite.

 

[00:04:29] As, as if there’s something wrong with you. They’re kind of picking that up because it’s kind of what you’re putting out and you’re not aware of it. Um, so we’re gonna, we’re gonna, we’re gonna work on fixing, not fixing that today. Today we’re going to work on bringing a little bit more love and ease and celebration and an apologetic.

 

[00:04:49] Beingness so that you can love yourself a little more. Like actually appreciate yourself and you can flow through night through life with a little bit more [00:05:00] ease. And then you can also just have more profit and have more money and have a sustainable business that you feel like has your back

 

[00:05:08] what we need to do is we need to. build the capacity within our nervous system to feel that disgust that that self disgust that we have without letting it consume us with harmful thoughts and without letting it expose us to more toxic shame. A lot of what people do when I’ve spoken about this in prior episodes is they address shame by kind of like.

 

[00:05:31] Going into the shame, processing the shame, and sometimes it feels guilt. Sometimes it’s like self judgment of like anger and anger towards yourself. And they kind of like, Oh yeah, like, like process it, feel it, um, focus on it. And there are times for that type of technique, but sometimes. Um, there are times where it’s actually more supportive to build the capacity to witness it without going into it, because if we go into it, um, we actually end up creating more of it and we end up in this 

 

[00:06:00] vicious cycle.

 

[00:06:02] But if we don’t allow, we don’t build the capacity to witness it, allow it to be there and respond in a different way, we also allow for that visual psych vicious cycle to work on autopilot, right? When we live. from a perfectionist or from self judgment or from wanting to fix ourselves or, or from wanting to be a certain way or control how other people perceive us or make sure that we, we, we make the right amount of money on that product or, or if we don’t, we’re a failure or, or something like that, when we live from that place, this pattern of.

 

[00:06:41] of survival oriented living just becomes rampant and it, it breeds more mental illness, more chronic, um, pain, more fatigue, more brain fog, more judgment towards each other’s and all of these crises that we’re experiencing in our

 

[00:07:00] society today. And so today my goal for you is to help you begin. Developing a capacity to be with the level of sensation that disgust has that shame also holds, but really focused on your ability to do so without feeling overwhelmed, without buying into the stories of shame.

 

[00:07:24] And the way that we do that is we build resources and capacity. And now inside of unapologetic offer creation and really truly insight deeply inside of shameless sales, we, we go into like. The nitty gritty of how, uh, you know, they’re, they’re live offerings. I’m actually on a zoom call with you and I actually get to teach you in a way that I just can’t in a podcast.

 

[00:07:45] These are tools that are just not. Um, really made to be taught in a podcast, but I’m going to do my best here today. And I want you to really try and apply as much as you can because it’s going to, it’s going to support you, send it to a friend, um, as a [00:08:00] support them as well. So the way that we build our capacity and resources by resourcing, what’s resourcing

 

[00:08:11] resource, a resource is anything that gives you a sense of empowerment, capacity, strength, clarity, groundedness, and safety. And there are three particularly effective resources for shame or for disgust. We’re going to be focusing on them. This is based on latest neuroscience and studies, um, by people such as Peter Levine, who’s at Levine, Russell Levine, Stephen Porges, and Brene Brown.

 

[00:08:39] And what I’m going to invite you to do is to Orient to each of one in a way that makes sense to you and I’m going to give you some suggestions. So I’ve chosen four different symptoms of shame or guilt and then I’m going to tell you what the corresponding resource would be. There’s

 

[00:09:00] three main ones and give you an example of how to resource.

 

[00:09:04] To that specific one, and then we’re going to, I’m going to give you one suggestion for how you may apply that, what you learn in that process to your business strategy. So we’re doing once again, 75 percent in a work and 25 percent out of work, 75 percent somatic keeling and 25 percent business strategy.

 

[00:09:23] That’s the body based business way. So one of the symptoms of shame might be that you, or like of acting or operating from the shame body might be that you’re noticing a pattern where it’s like, Oh my God, I just have so many ideas and I don’t know how to choose the best one. And there’s this kind of pressure inside, or maybe it feels like anxiety, or maybe it feels like hopelessness, but it’s like, Oh my God, like there’s just so many things, like how would, how would I choose the best one?

 

[00:09:52] The first resource that we can look at is compassion. If I was to use the resource of compassion [00:10:00] for this Experience, I would probably focus on really just understanding kind of the backstory of that. Um, that might be using compassion of like, yeah, well you haven’t made it offer like this before. Yeah.

 

[00:10:11] You just had, um, like kind of validating it and you know, like, yeah, that makes sense. This is a transition in your career, you know, you haven’t done this, that, that makes sense. Or, um, understanding kind of the backstory. Maybe there’s been other times where you felt. Confused. Uh, and so that’s just a pattern that you have and we can have compassion around that.

 

[00:10:32] Second resource that you might use is celebration. Celebration is another anti anti of shame. It dissolves shame. Um, the way that I might use celebration in this case, what I would actually show up to the unapologetic offer creation masterclass, uh, the free call that we have. And I would write in the chat, I would say, Hey guys.

 

[00:10:55] I’m celebrating that I have a lot of ideas [00:11:00] and I don’t know how to do it and I’m, I’m just like, yeah, I’m, I’m celebrating that there’s so many ideas. I am choosing to celebrate that there is a lot of ideas here. The third resource is actually sharing, so shining light and sharing a little bit of what shame is happening.

 

[00:11:16] This is sometimes the harder one. Um. And sometimes the most effective one, not always, but it’s, it’s one of the Brené Brown talks about it a lot, actually. And what you’re really doing here is you’re using somebody else’s nervous system to help hold this really big experience that you’re experiencing and this big energy of shame that you’re experiencing.

 

[00:11:38] So for that, this might look like showing up to unapologetic offer creation masterclass and writing in the group chat, Hey guys, this is just what I’m experiencing right now. I’m having these thoughts and I just. You know, I, I just wanted to share that this is, this is where I’m at. So we have these three resources and when we use them effectively, which you will learn when you work with

 

[00:12:00] me is we notice that shame just kind of loses its grip and it’s hold on you.

 

[00:12:05] And spontaneously what happens is we’re now able to see options, opportunities, um, and, and ideas that we just didn’t have before. The way that I often. Apply a challenge like this or information like this to business strategy would be to identify the limitations and desires that you have. So you having the thought, I have a lot of ideas and I’m not sure how to choose the offer best.

 

[00:12:31] Once we’ve brought you back to that regulated place where you can objectively see things and shame isn’t kind of running the show, we’re able to look back and be like, okay, cool. So what are our limitations? Um, limitations might be something such as I not available on Tuesday evenings. Um, or I don’t have a lot of experience with X, Y, Zed, and therefore we can kind of create a structure around, okay, well, we’re not doing that.

 

[00:12:58] We’re not doing that. And I refuse to do that. [00:13:00] Therefore, we’re not doing that. And that actually gives us a framework that we can use to identify what we want to do. Then we’re going to look at the desires and we’re going to say, okay, cool. So what do we actually want? Like which, which one of these feels exciting for you?

 

[00:13:13] What do you really want to be doing? Sometimes we have a lot of ideas because we, We see other people doing them and we think, Oh yeah, I could do that. Uh, or we think we should, something should look a certain way. So what we’re doing is because we’re, we have enough capacity now to not blend with shoulds or, or like.

 

[00:13:33] Uh, or using other people’s, uh, strategy as our own, we’re able to kind of push those aside. Okay. Yeah. That, that might be for them or maybe somebody else, but, but what do I want? Right. So we can really identify like, okay, what is, what is your body telling you that you desire? What is the true desire inside of your flesh?

 

[00:13:54] Then from there, and we, we need to do a little bit more in a work sometimes, and we have to make sure that your nervous system 

 

[00:14:00] actually believes that getting what you want, um, within the limitations that you have is possible. It’s important that we meet you, you meet yourself where you are and not where you think you should be.

 

[00:14:10] I’m going to elaborate on this in a moment, but really we’re looking to make sure that your body believes it’s possible. Then we’re going to take this structure and take these desires and access the Innate creativity that a true regulated nervous system has to get creatively thinking and starts problem solving.

 

[00:14:32] What happens here is because we’ve already done so much in a work, our mind is now operating in a different structure than it was before. So naturally we can see more opportunities than we could at the beginning. That was good, right? Let’s do the next three. Let me know if you have any questions as well.

 

[00:14:52] Um, it’s really helpful for me to know where you follow and kind of where things maybe I’m not as clear as I could be. So [00:15:00] I appreciate you working with me so that I can improve the way that I. Another symptom that we’re operating from that shame body, um, and it’s impacting our business is when we’re doing something kind of like we’re worrying that signing like in the background, we’re like worried, Oh, if I sign a client or if I start this business, then it’s just going to lead to me spending forever on my laptop or I’m going to feel really boxed in when I have all this responsibility and I’m not going to be able to live up and I’m going to fail.

 

[00:15:33] So. Or I’m not going to be able to go snowboarding on Wednesdays. If we orient towards the, um, resource of compassion, what I would probably do is I would validate the emotion behind that concern. Worrying about something is, might be that there’s like a fear, there’s a fear, um, that’s fueling this concern.

 

[00:15:58] And I would validate that. I would [00:16:00] use emotional validation phrases to validate that. That’s a resource that all of my clients get access to. So if you. If you want to learn more about that, can’t wait to see you inside a shameless sales. And then I would, I would identify the desire. So whenever we’re worried about something, it’s usually because we have a desire and the desire is kind of the opposite that we’re worried about probably.

 

[00:16:22] So. Let’s choose the example of, I’m worried that I am going to have to spend heaps of time on my laptop. Maybe your desire is for freedom. Maybe your desire is for health and maybe it’s to be outside and you want the freedom to spend time just hanging out on the grass. That’s, you guys know that’s one of my

 

[00:16:44] So I would validate the emotion until you feel a sense of relief in your body and I would identify the desire until you feel a sense of, ah, yeah, that makes sense. If I was to use the resource of celebration, I would bring this to the unapologetic offer creation [00:17:00] masterclass and celebrate and say, Hey guys, I am so excited that I am worrying about this thing.

 

[00:17:05] I am so I’m, I’m happy that my mind is doing this worrying thing. Even if you’re not happy, like just celebrate that, like, okay, I’m celebrating that I found this. I’m celebrating that I’m noticing this and I’m celebrating that I am uncomfortable about it. Celebrate that you’re there. Celebrate that you’re there.

 

[00:17:20] Meet yourself where you are at. I’ll elaborate that in 60 seconds. If I was to use the resource of sharing, I would bring it to the masterclass and I would say, Hey guys, this is what I’m experiencing. This is how I feel about it. Just wanted to share, just to just normalize it and neutralize the shame that I have around it.

 

[00:17:42] Then if I was to take, so once we do that, we experience a different shift in our body, right? We, we, when we really effectively do it more than just listening to on a podcast, our body shifts, we have a different, we have an emotional change. We have a physical sensation change, and then we have our thoughts that change as well.

 

[00:17:58] From that change state, I would [00:18:00] apply it to business strategy and similarly to above, I would identify the limitations and desires. What are the limitations? What are the things that I’m not doing? Um, and what do I actually want then I would Check in with myself and make sure my body believes that it’s possible to get there and that it’s safe to get there.

 

[00:18:18] I mentioned this before, but I really want to emphasize that you need to meet yourself where you are and not where you think that you should be. Some of us, especially if we’re in the coaching industry or we do any type of healing or therapeutic work, we think that we’re like, we’re supposed to like have things kind of sorted out, right?

 

[00:18:36] And in some ways we do, but. Sometimes we present this, um, Oh yeah, like I know this. I know it’s like this. Well, yeah, you do. But maybe there’s a part of you that doesn’t know that like meet yourself really where you are. Maybe you have done heaps of work around, um, expressing your voice or being creative or, or putting boundaries.

 

[00:18:57] Maybe you have, and maybe there’s still a part of you that, that 

 

[00:19:00] doesn’t even know what that looks like. So I want you to meet yourself where you are. Yeah. Unapologetically, because a lot of the time we actually, and in coaching relationships, we do this and I have to speak to my clients about this and I teach my clients not to do this with me.

 

[00:19:16] And they say, you know, I, I feel all like you can kind of see they put on a front, right? Or a persona or a mask of like, yeah, I know this and I move. We’ve been working for it. Well, yes. And also, if it’s, there’s a part of you that doesn’t know these things, that doesn’t know that it’s okay. And that being on a laptop to earn money is actually very supportive for you or, or doesn’t know that it is okay to say what you think, bring that part forward and work on helping that part of, you know, that, yeah, it’s okay.

 

[00:19:50] And that it will be okay. And this is what it needs because. Sometimes we focus so much on, [00:20:00] we, we put, we pull, what am I trying to say? Sometimes we, we think we should be in a certain place. We think we should have certain opinions. We think we should have like gotten somewhere with our inner work and other parts of us just aren’t.

 

[00:20:15] There, some parts of us are, but we’re complex and other parts of us aren’t. So I want you to meet those more, I don’t want to say immature, but the parts that are still learning. I want you to meet them in their difficulty. Meet the part of you that is struggling the most in its difficulty, even though there might be another part of you that doesn’t, that’s overcome that struggle five years ago, but meet the part of you that’s struggling and present that.

 

[00:20:45] to me. Present that to your coach. That’s what’s going to help you get the most out of all of the containers that you’re in. From that place, you are going to use your new creative space, [00:21:00] intuitive space, and confident space in your mind, in your body to get creative and start thinking about how you can create a business within your limitations.

 

[00:21:12] It aligns with your desires in a way that your nervous system believes is possible and will work. The third one is if you don’t like selling yourself or you’re thinking that like sales are icky. Hands up if you’ve been there. I’ve been there. Oh, I was so there. I was like, Oh, I don’t want to be like icky in my sales.

 

[00:21:36] So yeah. Yeah. If we use compassion as a resource, I want you to validate the emotion behind it. Maybe there’s fear of judgment or something and look for the value that it’s highlighting until you feel a change in your body. So we validate until you feel an asthmatic change in your body. And let me look for the value that it’s highlighting.

 

[00:21:57] So I have a client, we’ve done a lot of work around this 

 

[00:22:00] and she really values, um, the giving value before. Presenting an opportunity to keep working with her. She, she really values, um, like an abundance of free information and education. So we work that inside of her sales strategy. I have another client who really values emotional connection.

 

[00:22:20] So we make sure that inside of her marketing, there’s a deep emotional connection. I have another client who really values brevity. She wants everything to be to the point. and simple and concise. So inside of her marketing, we make sure that she’s really to the point and that way we’re, we’re using her values to inform her sales strategy and she’s still selling.

 

[00:22:46] And what happens is we kind of learn that we kind of had this thought, Oh, I don’t want to be icky. It was just pointing us to a value. And then what happens is once we identify that value and identify that fear, um, sorry, the emotion behind it, there is this like, Oh [00:23:00] yeah, that makes sense in the body. Oh, that feels, it feels correct.

 

[00:23:02] It feels that’s right. That, that, okay. I’m excited to execute that. Um, if I’ve kind of given you the end of that one, then that’s okay. So in, if I was to use celebration as a resource, I would bring it to the masterclass and say, Hey guys, I’m celebrating that. I know, uh, more about what I want and what I don’t want inside of my sales strategy.

 

[00:23:25] And then if I was to use sharing to neutralize the shame, I would bring it to the master class and I would say, Hey guys, I’m noticing myself having this experience and I would like you to, I just want you to know this. I just, I wanted to share it and I want somebody to see me in it. And having another nervous system there is going to help you just hold that experience without it overwhelming you and taking you and you can see it more objectively.

 

[00:23:50] The business strategy that aligns to this, I already kind of mentioned is that we actually create a sales strategy that’s aligned with your values, a sales strategy that feels good in your body, [00:24:00] feels correct in your body. And we use somatic tools to do that. And then we use business strategy to create a day by day plan that you’re excited to execute.

 

[00:24:08] And you know that you’re going to execute. Because it’s within what you have capacity to do, what you get excited to do the fourth, um, symptom might be something like when I do sell my offer, I get crickets and here’s how you’re going to use three different resources to move through that and apply it to your business strategy.

 

[00:24:29] You’re gonna use compassion to have compassion with yourself and validate the emotion behind it. So it might be fear. Or like fear, maybe that you’re not selling or fear of what people are thinking of you. Maybe you’re disappointed. Maybe we can validate like you had an expectation for sales to go a certain way and they haven’t.

 

[00:24:48] So maybe you’re disappointed. We’re going to celebrate it. So bring it to the unapologetic offer creation masterclass and say, I am celebrating that I know more about [00:25:00] my business. I’m celebrating. They have all of this information. Crickets is information. That’s crickets. Isn’t nothing. I’m celebrating.

 

[00:25:06] Like. Not nothing happening isn’t It’s nothing happening. It’s not nothing information. There’s information that you can get from your business even when you’re not making sales that actually is going to help you double down on what does work and make sales. There’s always something working. Hear me, hear me, hear me, hear me, hear me.

 

[00:25:23] There’s always something working. Okay, good. The third way that you might do this is with, um, sharing. So you would share and all of, especially around like sales and revenue, we often don’t want to share. Right. Cause what? We’re like worried that someone’s going to, I don’t know. I think we’re doing something wrong.

 

[00:25:39] I don’t know. I don’t know. They’re going to judge us. I don’t know what it is, but what if you just shared it? What if you said to the unapologetic offer creation group and you said, Hey guys, I’m here because I noticed that my sales are not going as well as I think they could. I just, let’s just all hold that together.[00:26:00]

 

[00:26:00] Beautiful. And then you’re going to apply that to your business strategy by creating a sales strategy that is aligned with nervous system science so that it becomes magnetic. There is a reason that your offer is not selling and it could be a couple of things. Maybe we’re not. Um, we don’t have enough mental, um, capacity to be clear about the problem that we’re solving.

 

[00:26:21] Um, maybe you’re, it’s drenched in shame and people are being turned off by your nervous system and you’re not realizing it and they don’t have the words to articulate it because it’s a, um, It’s a nervous system science that happens very, very beneath the conscious mind. Uh, or maybe it’s something else.

 

[00:26:40] What can help you identify this? We will identify this inside of shameless sales and we will completely transform it so that your sales are happening consistently, but we’re not there yet. You can’t join yet unless. I’ve edited this episode and you can maybe there’s information down below. Ooh, that could be fun.

 

[00:26:57] But as of recording, you can’t [00:27:00] join. So what you’re going to do instead is you’re going to go back to episode number 79 called how to magnetize clients to you. This is the nervous system science behind that like fluffy advice of become magnetic. And inside of the 15 minute episode, you will learn how your primal body experiences magnetism and what creates it or destroys it.

 

[00:27:22] And. A very, very deep truth about shame healing that is very realistic and beyond a lot of the mainstream information that you’re going to be receiving on the internet. How do we feel about that guys? That was good. That covered so many things. We have so many things to cover together. Um, there’s, there’s a depth of this work that I’m very excited to continue exploring with you because I know it’s going to be one of the most impactful things inside of your business and inside of your life.

 

[00:27:54] And we’re going to be taking that Deepa inside of shameless sales. We’re going to take that deeper inside of unapologetic offer [00:28:00] creation. But in the meantime, please prioritize listening to episode number 79, as well as episode number 83, I will make sure that we have all of the information and the show links down below so that you just have to go and click and let me know your thoughts on the episodes.

 

 

[00:28:18] Let me know what’s helping. Um, and what is it? And then I’ll, I’ll speak to you soon.

Shave Years Off Of Therapy  & Double Your Income with Somatic Trauma Healing, Business Strategy and Nervous System Regulation

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Listen Wherever You Get Your Podcasts

You want to double your income – and you want to do it sustainably, with a strategy that you are excited to execute, sales that feel organic and abundant – and without sacrificing your mental or physical health. This episode will teach you how. 

By the end of the episode, you’ll have: 

  • Found the 1 simple understanding (that goes against common practice) that’ll shave years off of the therapy
  • Understand the two steps that you need to take to make sales feel abundant, easy and double your income in this phase of your business
  • Know how to stop worrying, working so hard or trying to figure things out and get things right.

 

Next episode – 82: Why typical ‘business strategy’ hasn’t work for you, and the ONE thing to do to solve it now (Trauma Healing and Nervous System Regulation for Entrepreneurs)

 

In this episode you’ll learn what will lead you to the important, and sometimes elusive ‘secret’ to your success. 

 

In less than 20 minutes you’ll: 

  • Gain clarity on refining your content plan, mastering your sales script, and pricing your offers effectively by understanding the connection between shame, your nervous system, and business success.
  • Learn practical strategies to release shame and past pain, allowing you to approach sales and business decisions with confidence, ease, and creativity.
  • Discover the transformative power of integrating conscious awareness with unconscious processes, paving the way for a regulated nervous system and sustainable business growth.
 
 
TRANSCRIPT:

[00:00:00] you want more, but you want to do it sustainably.
 
[00:00:02] You want it to be easeful and you want it to be with a strategy that you are excited to execute and sales that feel organic and abundant and you don’t have to sacrifice your health for by the end of this episode, you are going to have shaved years off of the therapy that you’re doing using this one simple understanding. That goes against common advice. And you’re going to understand the two steps that you need to take to make sales feel abundant and easy and double your income in this phase of your business so that you don’t have to worry or kind of work so hard trying to figure things out and get things right.
 
[00:00:56] So your goal is to have simple, sustainable, at
 
[00:01:00] least 5, 000 US dollar months. Some of you are here because you’re, you’re kind of looking for, for that first, um, income bracket to kind of break through there. Maybe you’ve been trying to do it for a while. And some of you here because. It’s, you want more, but you want to do it sustainably.
 
[00:01:17] You want to do it simply. You want to, you want it to be easeful and you want it to be with a strategy that you are excited to execute and sales that feel organic and abundant and you don’t have to sacrifice your health for or your mental health for. The problem that we’re going to solve today is that, , you’re not at the income and ease that you desire yet.
 
[00:01:39] And there is an anxiety or overthinking or overwhelm that you feel when you work that perhaps It mirrors or is similar to an older anxiety that you may have. Maybe it’s an anxiety from the social anxiety from eight years ago, or maybe it mirrors the indecision that you had in
 
[00:02:00] about whether or not you should leave your relationship or maybe it feels like an incessant kind of there’s something wrong energy in your body.
 
[00:02:11] Um, that you, you actually can’t remember not feeling and you know that. What you need needs to go a little bit deeper than surface level. Just be consistent advice. You know that working on something more than just talking about the problem and shining light on it, it’s going to be most effective.
 
[00:02:31] And you’ve probably done some type of hypnotherapy or business coaching or a course on copywriting or talk therapy or, , energetic clearing. . And while a lot of what you’ve done in the past has been helpful, we’re just at that point now where we’re like, okay, cool. And what’s going to make this easier and what’s going to make this more effective and how am I going to get it done in the best.
 
[00:02:51] Simplest way it’s going to be cost effective. So what we’re doing here is for today, we’re going to look at the solution and this 
 
[00:03:00] solution is quite literally going to shave years off of therapy and it’s going to double your income.
 
[00:03:04] And we’re actually going to be talking about one key thing. What is really important to note here is that there has to be inner work and outer work in order to learn, refine, and stay accountable. We are going to be using. Inner inquiry, as well as external action. The action is just as important as the inner inquiry, and the inner inquiry is just as important as the action
 
[00:03:34] Let’s look at these two steps. The first step is to cultivate. Loving awareness in the process of your self discovery. Hi, Freya for the guys. If you don’t know, this is Freya. She is my AI co host who is building her business alongside of you and asking all of the questions that you are already asking. Yep. You’re 100 percent right. And if I were [00:04:00] you, I would probably be rolling my eyes and I may have already disconnected from the podcast.
 
[00:04:04] What I mean when I say cultivating loving awareness, I don’t mean like put on insight timer and go like pick like a beautiful meta meditation, although that is very helpful sometimes. I mean something that is, it is a difficult process to master. This is one of the most advanced practices and it is the practice of.
 
[00:04:26] Going about your self discovery journey and your entrepreneurship journey as a process of benevolent self discovery. None of what we do, we do with the intention of fixing you, because you do not need to be fixed.
 
[00:04:42] Sometimes I have come into, and you probably have too, I have come into self improvement, self discovery, self development, entrepreneurship with this feeling that like there was something wrong with me and that I needed to kind of fix something inside of me in order to be
 
[00:05:00] successful. Right. And I’ve also come in to therapy sessions and with this energy of like, Oh, okay.
 
[00:05:07] Like I can fix this thing. If I can just fix this thing, if I can perfect the way that I respond to things, if I can just stay regular the way that I respond to things, then, you know, I’ll have like hacked the system and I’ll finally be easeful and well again. And I’m actually really curious if you would be willing to share, send me a DM.
 
[00:05:25] Have you ever gone in and just felt like there’s something that you needed to understand about yourself or to fix? And I actually, I stopped traditional talk therapy, years ago when I found, body based therapies, but I started again. Just to support myself during it was a preemptive measure to support myself during the transition moving back into Australia.
 
[00:05:48] And it was really curious because I noticed myself the other week I had a session and the energy in the session. I think it was a combination of what I was bringing and what my therapist was bringing was this
 
[00:06:00] energy of like Sheridan, you have this like thing that’s, that’s, that’s damaging you inside.
 
[00:06:05] You have this unconscious pattern that is causing you harm and we need to fix it, remedy it, become aware of it so that you don’t do this other dangerous thing. That could cause you more harm so that you don’t repeat past mistakes, right? And it’s felt like crap felt like absolute crap and Not only did it feel like crap, but it doesn’t actually work to, to get what you, to get you where you want, right?
 
[00:06:33] Because number one, it feels bad. And number two, now we have all of this energy of judgment and shame and resistance that we have to work through. Whenever I go into a scenario trying to fix something about myself, well now when we look at it from a trauma informed perspective, when we look at it from a shadow work perspective, when we look at it from the side Co logical perspective of how do I actually create change in individuals, [00:07:00] the best way to create change in individuals, the best way to create, change in habits, behavior, and identity is actually with loving awareness.
 
[00:07:07] This is seen in so many different studies. Jodi Spencer talks a lot about mind heart coherence, um, Buddhist studies as well, all types of trauma therapy. The very first step in actually creating any type of change is to stop trying to create some type of change. It’s to cultivate a loving awareness and a benevolent respect for what you’re currently doing.
 
[00:07:29] We are not going into any of this with the intention of fixing you. We go into this with the intention of understanding what your needs are and how we can support you, support your body, support your psyche, support your subconscious and support your nervous system to get those needs met. This is why the body based business strategy is 75 percent understanding your somatic blueprint, your somatic sales blueprint.
 
[00:07:54] What’s the best, what’s, what is your body and your nervous system need in order to feel comfortable making sales? [00:08:00] And then how do I apply that to my marketing sales and business strategy? The first thing we do is we cultivate a loving awareness. That’s number one. Then we actually need to learn how to, it’s what I call be on the edge of shame without being in it so that it can move through you slash dissipate and you can strengthen the part of you that witnesses it with loving awareness.
 
[00:08:23] So it’s not that we cultivate loving awareness and then we just are in that and we ignore all of the other. More uncomfortable parts. No, what we do is we use a somatic practice to notice shame or judgment come up and we actually evoke it. We use certain things to evoke it in a very safe way so that it has a container like it’s coming forward in the container.
 
[00:08:48] It’s coming forward into the realm of consciousness and then it can complete its cycle. Right. It can kind of move through you. It can dissipate. We can bring
 
[00:09:00] light and love to it. It sounds, that sounds very light and love, but that’s really what we are doing. We can bring enough conscious, loving, kind awareness and a lot of compassion or celebration to it that it.
 
[00:09:12] It loses a lot of its power and its grip on you. And we actually have to learn how to be and do that in the body. This is a physical thing. This is not a journal practice, although journaling can help, but it’s a, how can I, how can I feel the texture of that shame and the way that it shifts my shoulders and also feel the breeze on my face and just notice that and say, ah, yeah, that makes sense.
 
[00:09:42] And you’re welcome here. And with that information, I’m going to remember that the best way for me to build momentum in my business is doing XYZ. And we’re going to cover all the fat inside of unapologetic offer, creation, and shameless
 
[00:10:00] sales. I will be sharing more about unapologetic offer creation and shameless sales as we move through the podcast.
 
[00:10:06] And as we move through, , you’ll find on Instagram, if you’re on my email list, you’ll find it there. If you’re not, send me a message on Instagram so that you can get on the email list so that you can get all of this information. But before you do that, go ahead and download episode 20 82, because it’s the last episode that we did.
 
[00:10:26] And it’s called why typical business strategy hasn’t worked for you. And the one thing to do to solve it now, and what we’re doing is I’m going to help you identify what it is that you do actually need to move forward. You’re going to learn that that secret. To success that maybe a part of you thinks that you’re still kind of figuring out the episode is less than 20 minutes long and you’re going to gain clarity on refining your content plan and mastering your sales script and pricing your office effectively by understanding the
 
[00:11:00] connection between shame, your nervous system and business success.
 
[00:11:03] You’re going to learn practical strategies to release shame and past pain, allowing you to approach sales and business decisions with confidence, ease, creativity. And discover the transformative power of integrating conscious awareness with unconscious processes, paving the way for a regulated nervous system and sustainable business growth.
 
[00:11:21] To recap the two steps that we went through today. Number one is cultivating loving awareness. And number two is to learn how to be on the edge of shame without being In it so that you can pull your power back and you can access that calm, confident, creative, um, clear, bold, patient, passionate, purposeful CEO inside of you, because that’s, what’s going to make you the most money.
 
[00:11:47] And that’s, what’s going to bring the most ease, fun and abundance and just oomph to your life.

Why typical ‘business strategy’ hasn’t worked for you, and the ONE thing to do to solve it now (Trauma Healing and Nervous System Regulation for Entrepreneurs)

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Listen Wherever You Get Your Podcasts

Struggling with your content plan, sales script, or pricing? You know what works for me and my clients isn’t necessarily what will work for YOU.

In this episode you’ll learn what will lead you to the important, and sometimes elusive ‘secret’ to your success. 

In less than 20 minutes you’ll: 

  • Gain clarity on refining your content plan, mastering your sales script, and pricing your offers effectively by understanding the connection between shame, your nervous system, and business success.
  •  Learn practical strategies to release shame and past pain, allowing you to approach sales and business decisions with confidence, ease, and creativity.
  • Discover the transformative power of integrating conscious awareness with unconscious processes, paving the way for a regulated nervous system and sustainable business growth.


Next step: 

Listen to 78:  Exactly how to f*ck up shame healing in business – Stress Relief, Nervous System and Trauma Healing for Profitable Business.

By the end of the episode you will know: 

  • The crucial link between shame, the nervous system, and your ability to build a thriving business.
  • How misguided approaches to shame can hinder creativity, productivity, and resilience, impacting your daily life and business success.
  • How to release the judgment associated with shame, opening doors to greater ease, creativity, and productivity in your life and business.
  • The most effective approach to breaking the cycle of self-judgment and emotional discomfort.
  • How to create a more fluid and enjoyable daily life, fostering better relationships, effortless sales, and enhanced ease. 

TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] You’ve tried a lot of things before and you are smart enough to know that just because something has worked for me or my clients doesn’t actually mean that it’s necessarily going to create a profitable business anxiety free for you by the end of this episode, you are going to walk away with clear steps to take that will help you when your content plan that you’ve tweaked 30 times just isn’t cutting it and isn’t Bringing you the most line clients, what to do when it feels like your sales script just feels awkward at the end, even though you’ve practiced it thousands of times with your mentor and what to do when it feels like you’re, the pricing of your offer still feels off, even though you’ve tweaked and asked for feedback 16 times.

[00:00:59] Welcome to [00:01:00] class. Today we are preparing once again for shameless sales and unapologetic offer creation, which are the events that I have coming up in March. And this is the kind of educational classroom series to prepare you to start. Removing shame from your body, from your nervous system, from your workplace, which for a lot of you is going to be your self employed solopreneur journey.

[00:01:24] From your relationships in marketing and in sales and support you in becoming an embodied entrepreneur who makes sales easily. And it feels really, really abundant and just flowy and like normal conversations as if you’re talking about toothpaste, but more exciting, like a really good toothpaste.

[00:01:40] Okay. So. The inspiration for this episode came from a client of mine who posted something. We, we did a session together and she posted in a, in like a, we’re in like a community group together. So everyone just kind of post recommendations for different services she posted recommending my service

[00:02:00] to other people’s recommending working with me to other people.

[00:02:04] And she said something that stuck out to me. So. And inspired this episode. So I’m going to share just her words. She said, you are not stuck because you need to know more. You’re stuck because you’re learning how to find the wisdom in your body that tells you your exact method to find ease and income.

[00:02:24] And my beautiful listener. , I know this applies to you, you know, you’re smart, you are really, really smart and that’s part of what pulls you to this type of work because you have that agile mind that can see opportunities and. You like me and like most of my clients have also a part of us that shame body that latches on to really legitimate needs, which I’m going to go into into a moment and then blends with a immobilized nervous system response [00:03:00] and makes it really difficult to, to find that That wisdom in the body that tells us, yes, this is the correct next step.

[00:03:08] This is going to be the most profitable. This is going to be the easiest to find that intelligence in the body, to connect with your intuition, to make decisions that you feel confident about and move forward, executing them with fun and playfulness and without second guessing yourself, we need momentum and we need consistency of action in order to create trust in our.

[00:03:32] Our business and, and to have people come in. That’s just a part of kind of psychology of, of business marketing and economics. So let’s break this down a little bit so that you can see how it’s happened, what’s happening in your life, and you can start to make some changes as of today. Your content plan.

[00:03:53] If you’re struggling with your content plan, knowing what to post, knowing when to post it, or knowing how to [00:04:00] create, um, copy for ads, or how to do any type of marketing, it’s probably because there’s genuinely a part of you that maybe perhaps needs to get a little bit more clear. On your message, what’s the main thing that you help people with?

[00:04:17] What is the problem that you’re helping people solve? Maybe you are lacking a little bit of clarity there. 25 percent business strategy. That’s always what we do in body based business, but what’s happening is it’s. That very genuine need of, of clarity perhaps is blending with the part of you that is still in pain because it, you know, maybe it’s triggering a moment where you didn’t have clarity when you were a kid, you didn’t know what you wanted to study and that was really difficult for you because your teachers were telling you how much you really did need to study something and you were expected to have this answer.

[00:04:58] And maybe that meant you felt [00:05:00] hopeless. And that very genuine need of perhaps needing to have a little bit more clarity is blending with a part of you that is still in pain around a similar experience, not having clarity around studies, not having clarity around a romantic relationship, um, not knowing how to articulate yourself and your needs, or not being able, not being given the space, opportunity, and support to articulate your needs when you were younger.

[00:05:26] And actually have them met in a way that is nourishing, have them attuned to, have somebody prioritized meeting them and helping you meet them. Because it’s blending with that. It’s putting you into this nervous system freeze response where you shut down and you procrastinate and you get confused and you have brain fog and your shoulders feel heavy.

[00:05:49] And so you’re looking at your spreadsheets and tweaking them and you’re biting your tongue when somebody says, what do you do? And you’re saying, ah, yeah, I, I,

[00:06:00] um, I, I, I do, I do this thing. You’re not saying it with conviction and the conversation feels awkward. And then you use that as an excuse to reinforce in your mind that you’re not good at what you do, but you are, you just need more clarity and to remove a little bit of the shame that’s inside.

[00:06:18] That makes sense. Because when you move through that shame or when you move through that pain inside, it doesn’t need to latch onto your, your genuine need and desire. So you can go through the motions of building clarity around your communications, of building Effective launching plan and then executing it while just listening to music and having fun in your day to day life.

[00:06:46] Just having fun, just in a, in a happy way. You move through that and you move through the steps of business in a way that just feels natural and normal and you’re not overthinking at [00:07:00] 12 o’clock at night. You’re able to look at your to do list and by 12 p. m. be like, Oh, I did the most important talks.

[00:07:06] What else can I do? How fun. And so if you’re maybe coming to the second example, maybe you’re struggling with your sales call strip because there is a part of you that it just generally hasn’t done a lot of sales of this specific thing or in this specific context. Or maybe you’re falling into the trap of like, I feel like I’m selling myself, right?

[00:07:27] Like you just, it’s just a new thing for you. That’s normal. But perhaps it’s blending with a part of yourself that, um, is also in pain. Maybe it’s the, you know, when, When you were a kid, or in your last romantic relationship, or in your last workplace, you had a couple of really awesome ideas. Like, you had, you had fun, right?

[00:07:51] But then when you shared your ideas, you pitched them, or you shared them, or you asked for, Oh, we could do this. You were met with an 
[00:08:00] underwhelming response. You were met with, Oh, that’s a bad idea. You were met with No, we can’t do that. No, we’ve already tried that and it doesn’t work. Or no, I know best because I’m the boss or I’m dad or I’m mom and adults know best.

[00:08:14] Right. And so you started shutting down your voice. And so at the end of that sales call, you feel like you have to say the right thing simply because the genuine need of, of understanding how to effectively and lovingly navigate. The end of a sales call is latching on with the paint part of you. That’s always looking for the right thing to say.

[00:08:38] And it’s always wondering, is it safe to say what I want? Is it safe to express myself? Am I gonna feel disappointed? Is this even a possibility? And this happens for many reasons, but the most impactful one, meaning the one that if we address it is going to lead to the most. Radical change is because there’s an [00:09:00] underlying shame body.

[00:09:01] That’s reinforcing this idea of there’s something wrong with you. Don’t say what you think. Always look for the rules outside of you to tell you what to do. Because that’s safer. You don’t know. You’re not like them. They got some message or memo that you didn’t get. Therefore, figure out what they’re, like, figure out the rules of life.

[00:09:24] Because that’s safer to follow other people’s rules than just expressing what is true for you and your own opinion. When we can Release the hold that that shame body has on the driver’s seat of your life and the driver’s seat of your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and sensations. Now we can from a very neutral and creative place, we can hold space at the end of that sales call where you’re, you’re really holding space for that other person and just genuinely supporting them.

[00:09:57] In the decision making process of sales [00:10:00] without none of your interest, like you’re not thinking about your bank account. You’re not thinking about whether or not you should close the deal. You’re not thinking about, um, what they might think of you. If you say X, Y, Z, you’re really just using your curiosity, your creativity, your expertise to help them make a decision about what is generally going to be the best for them.

[00:10:21] And. Sometimes that’s going to be your pros, your product or your service. And there are actually also times where it’s not going to be that, but you’re so available for helping them make a decision that you’re not thinking about like all of your other stuff. And that’s what’s actually helping sales feel easy and abundant.

[00:10:44] You’re confident. There’s no icky ness. It’s just a really empowering conversation between two individuals, which actually is what ends up making more sales when we’re open to the fact that it may not. Um, and then we’re

[00:11:00] going to look at the third option, which is pricing. Okay. So if you’re pricing your offer and it feels off, like you, you, you get confused, you are, you know, I remember I used to do that.

[00:11:15] I still do. I do this still. I don’t think I do, but I actually, I don’t go me. I used to. Uh, I would like. Uh, this number for this thing and then this number for that, that’s how much they’re going to be. And then I would look at them and I’m like, that makes absolutely no sense. Like if that product is X amount, then why would this product be less if it’s, it requires more?

[00:11:34] It was weird. I, some people might call it intuitive pricing. I called it. It’s not, it’s not in real intuitive pricing. It’s I’m confused and I don’t know what numbers to pick. And that’s actually pulling on perhaps a very genuine desire to be like, okay, I actually don’t know what the value of this or the perceived value of this is, or like the market, what, what would be correct within the market to charge.

[00:11:56] And I actually might need to do some research or I might need to [00:12:00] do some research about. What it is that I am really, really good at and like get more clear on and own what I’m really good at, what I’m an expert at and what I’m not so good at and what I’m not necessarily here to sell or to provide or what the product does or what the product doesn’t do.

[00:12:16] All right. So sometimes there is like a just very genuine need for, for needing some clarity. Right. But it does blend with the parts of us that are still carrying shame. So think of it like your shame body latches. On to the, this genuine need and it creates this nervous system response that is often procrastination and confusion and just heavy cloudedness.

[00:12:40] Like everything feels heavy. Everything feels clouded. Everything’s like, I just can’t, like, it’s so hard to move through. I just, it doesn’t feel, it feels like you’re swimming upstream. Because it’s holding that pain because it’s probably because deep, deep, deep down, we have this feeling of like feeling like I’m [00:13:00] worried what will happen.

[00:13:00] I’m worried the world will fall apart or I’m worried there’s something wrong with me. So I want to be careful about what I do and what I say, or I’m worried that people will judge me because we have this very, very, very, very deep, deep, deep, deep underlying undercurrent affecting every single thought, feeling, emotion and sensation that we have.

[00:13:18] No amount of therapy of talk therapy is going to change that no amount of affirmations or mindset work is going to change that. And so you sit and you look at your prices and it, it just, it feels confusing. You feel anxious. You, you, you like open the Google document and then you just like, you just close it and go and make another cup of tea.

[00:13:39] Right. Right. And so what we can do instead is we can, we can change that undercurrent so that it doesn’t have to take a hold of your experience. And when you look at your offers and your prices, you can look, okay, very, very, very easily. This usually is a process that takes, [00:14:00] you know, six minutes. Okay. What is, what’s the market doing at the moment?

[00:14:04] Um, what are my financial needs? Uh, what are the, what’s the value of this package? This is the price that makes sense. It’s, it’s very natural. It’s very normal. And you can go and you can test that with your clients and, and you can do business in the way that most other business owners do it. Where we look at product market fit with pricing, that’s it has nothing to do it’s very, it’s simple.

[00:14:31] It’s easy. It’s, it’s slightly analytical, but I think, you know, as an embodied entrepreneur, yeah, we’re looking to use the analytical part of our brain, but we’re also using that deep intuitive somatic intelligence part of our brain where. We’re accessing the part of our body and our intuition that has information that our analytical mind doesn’t.

[00:14:53] And so we use them together to make business decisions that are going to lead to the path of [00:15:00] least resistance for us to get to our goals. And I mentioned that we’re not going to do this by just talking about it or even listening about it. I’m sharing these podcasts with you as a preparation. I want you to come in with this conscious awareness because something that we have to do is we have to, we have to blend the conscious awareness with the unconscious processes that are going on inside of the body.

[00:15:24] We need to bring those two parts of the brain together to create change. So right now you’re creating that conscious awareness, and then when you join shameless sales, and when we practice the embodiment practice in unapologetic, , offer creation, you’re going to. Bring it kind of into the body and we’re going to, we’re going to actually integrate the changes. If we take the other options, therapy or trying to like convince yourself that it’s working when you really don’t believe that or using affirmations willy nilly, Um, it’s, it’s exhausting and we actually create more resistance. When we look at the shame body.

[00:15:58] And we work with the body and the [00:16:00] mind. What we’re doing is we’re addressing the root cause of your current experience, and then we’re minimizing the hold that feeling has on you. You are able to unblend from those painful parts of you, and they no longer need to take control of your experience. When that happens, you naturally and spontaneously Access your creative thinking, your intuition, your positivity, your ability to see opportunities, your resilience.

[00:16:25] This is the cornerstone to embodied entrepreneurship. This is a regulated nervous system. And this is a nervous system that is able to expand the resources that you have at your availability. To create profitable business in a way that is easeful and anxiety free. This is what you’re going to learn inside of shameless sales.

[00:16:44] It is a six week group program that uses nervous system regulation, trauma healing, and a personalized sustainable step by step sales process to keep you confidently selling consistently. It’s not yet available, but it will be in the time being what I’m doing is I’m [00:17:00] creating kind of like milestone zero.

[00:17:03] Uh, in these podcast episodes and then milestone one instead of a free, free, free three day live event, right? So right now the best thing that you can do is jump all the way back and have a look at episode number 78. It’s called how to F up shame healing in business where you’re going to learn. Exactly what not to do over these next few weeks, even though it’s really, it’s like common advice that people give that’s actually so screwed up.

[00:17:32] Please go back and listen to this episode and share it with everyone that you know, because we need to make people stop doing this thing when it comes to healing shame. and healing the nervous system and building a thriving business. These really, really common approach completely annihilates creativity, productivity, and resilience.

[00:17:51] Um, but when we do what I’m suggesting instead, we’re able to find ease, creativity, and product. Like we, [00:18:00] when we do what I am suggesting instead, we can create, um, we can break cycles of self judgment. We can break cycles of emotional discomfort, and then we just create more fluidity in business and more fluidity in sales and better relationships and, and, and more profit, which is really, really, really nice.

[00:18:19] It’s a nice thing to have. Go ahead and find episode 78. I will pop the link down in the show notes and keep listening, keep studying. Keep exploring. I’ll see you on the next episode.

Building A Profitable Business Through Loneliness, Trauma Healing and Nervous System Dysregulation 

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Listen Wherever You Get Your Podcasts

If you’ve ever felt paralyzed by life’s challenges, hindering your ability to sell and make money in your business, you’re not alone.

In this episode, we unravel a pattern that keeps us stuck—unable to embrace opportunities because they seem overwhelming. Learn how to break free from this cycle, regain control, and build a thriving business.


By the end of this episode you will know: 

  • The 3 steps to building a profitable business amidst loneliness, overwhelm, and exhaustion.
  • The power of “resourcing” to increase your capacity for handling life’s challenges, leading to sustainable income and business growth.
  • How to create a consistent, momentum-driven plan tailored to your nervous system, making business success automatic and easy – even when life feels like too much. 


Next step: 

Listen to 78:  Exactly how to f*ck up shame healing in business – Stress Relief, Nervous System and Trauma Healing for Profitable Business By the end of the episode you will know: 

  • The crucial link between shame, the nervous system, and your ability to build a thriving business.
  • How misguided approaches to shame can hinder creativity, productivity, and resilience, impacting your daily life and business success.
  • How to release the judgment associated with shame, opening doors to greater ease, creativity, and productivity in your life and business.
  • The most effective approach to breaking the cycle of self-judgment and emotional discomfort.
  • How to create a more fluid and enjoyable daily life, fostering better relationships, effortless sales, and enhanced ease. 

TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] The reason that you are overstimulated is because you are holding too many of the things that you do not want to hold inside of this episode, you’re going to learn three steps to take to show up and still, even when life feels really, really hard, how to build a profitable business, even when you’re experiencing loneliness, even when you’re feeling, experiencing overstimulation, you’re overwhelmed and you feel at capacity and how to release all the things that you’re holding without being as Fluffy is just releasing it because you would have done that already if it was that easy This is a response to a phenomenon that I’ve witnessed in myself, a phenomenon that I’ve witnessed in clients and the community at large.

[00:00:54] And it is that so often the thing that we, like we’re feeling like we’re at capacity, like there’s

[00:01:00] just a lot going on. It just, everything just feels like too much. And the thing that we need in order for things to stop feeling like too much feels like it’s going to be too much in and of itself. Right.

[00:01:13] And so then we end up in this cycle where we can’t take that thing on because it feels like it’s going to be too much. So we stay where we are, which means that we don’t go and show up and do the money making activities inside of our business, such as selling because life feels really, really hard. And we feel like we can’t sell and then we don’t sell and then we feel bad about that and we don’t have income coming in.

[00:01:36] And then we just kind of snowball into disaster, right? My job is to help you break that pattern. This episode is going to help you identify the three steps to take to, to not let it snowball and to kind of witness and notice, okay, yeah, things are feeling really, really hot. I can’t, it doesn’t feel like I can show up and sell and make money right now.

[00:01:58] Um, because of X, [00:02:00] Y, Z. And so instead of allowing that to take over or instead of, Feeling pulled into that difficulty, uh. Um, I’m going to do something else so that I can take my power back, bring in income and actually feel supported by my business, because isn’t that the whole point we all got into this so that we could feel supported by our business, right?

[00:02:26] There are three steps to follow through on. If you would like to break this pattern when you were feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, really lonely, because you know, entrepreneurship is, it can be really lonely sometimes. Um. frustrated, helpless, any of these things, the very first thing that I want to encourage you to do is learn to resource.

[00:02:50] Resourcing is a practice that stems from all of the practices around somatic experiencing where we use [00:03:00] either an internal or an external It’s object or experience or sensation to give us a sense of confidence of neutrality of groundedness of I’m okay. When we resource our nervous system begins to regulate when we connect to a sense of I can do this, I’ve got this.

[00:03:20] When you use an internal resource, such as perhaps a memory or a mantra, or even just focusing on different sensations. Or an external resource, such as a conversation with a friend or your coach, or looking up at the sun or spending some time laying on the grass, you increase your capacity to hold what you are experiencing so that you can find more ease and then get back to productive, exciting actions that are going to move the needle forward in your business, such as selling, such as marketing, such as. Training your team member. Yes. Lots of things are going to be going on in your life, but

[00:04:00] because you’re so adept at resourcing and you have increased your capacity, you can still have sustainable income.

[00:04:07] Even when life is lifing, it’s always going to life. And we want to build businesses that actually have enough space inside of them. And we have enough space inside of ourself that. That remains a steady sense of security and income, even when life is going crazy, then using this newfound space and capacity and using other somatic tools that you can learn, you’re going to give your body, um, space, you’re creating space, you’re providing space to release the underlying root cause of your overwhelm of your discomfort for a lot of people.

[00:04:47] This is actually going to be shame, sadness, trauma, struggle. This is the deeper emotional work. This is, this is the deeper trauma healing.

[00:05:00] These are emotions that have come into your body because you’ve experienced consistent discomfort or a very large amount of discomfort in a period, in a short period of time, a traumatic event.

[00:05:11] or chronic stress over a long time that have been stored in your body. For some of you, that’s shame because, um, I don’t know, you were told that it’s like really gross if you are over a certain weight. And so you assimilated a lot of shame and, and now that’s stored in your system. And. And we need to move through that so that you feel confident, um, being on camera for some of you, that’s going to be shame around, you know, maybe you had some creative ideas when you were a little bit younger and somebody started bullying you because they didn’t like your artwork when you were 16 and you stopped painting for 10 years.

[00:05:50] So now the idea of going and sharing on social media is kind of scary, or doing a podcast is kind of scary because you don’t know, like, are they

[00:06:00] going to say something? For some of you, you’ve experienced, um, religious or spiritual bypassing that has made you feel like you need to be positive all of the time.
[00:06:08] And so whenever we’re actually touching on some of the more uncomfortable things, um,

[00:06:15] They’re never being digested in your system. They’re just sitting there. And we have Shame on top of them, so they’re just like amplified. And, oh my God, you’re holding a lot right now. You’re holding so much. So with this space, with this capacity. You can let it go. You can do what I call digesting. You’re taking the wisdom from it and you’re releasing the rest.

[00:06:43] You can do what we call alchemy, transmuting that discomfort into a bliss, pleasure, ease, wisdom, so that you spend more of your days feeling easeful. Yes, there’s drama going on. Yes, maybe things are tense in your relationship right now, but overall you’re [00:07:00] secure. You know how to find happiness. You know that it’s going to be okay.

[00:07:05] You can focus on all of the amazing things in your life and bring in more clients. The third step is to do this consistently with momentum, to follow a plan and to create a plan and to execute that plan in a way that makes sense for you, your nervous system, your lifestyle, your body, so that this becomes a practice and over time.

[00:07:29] Uh, it becomes automatic takes about 3000 repetitions of something for it to become embodied as an automatic, uh, route that the nervous system takes. So we need to have accountability and support to repeat these things consistently over time. It’s not enough just to listen to a podcast. This is amazing.

[00:07:50] I love that you’re here. You’re taking a really great first step, but we need to have a playground and a practice place and, um, accountability [00:08:00] to. To make this something that becomes automatic for us that we don’t have to think about and it becomes easy so that your business is going to support you no matter what’s happening in your, life.

[00:08:12] We’re going to do all of these three steps inside of shameless sales. Shameless sales. Is a six week group program that uses nervous system regulation, trauma, healing, and a personalized, sustainable step by step sales process to keep you confidently selling consistently. It’s currently not available, but it will be, it will be soon.

[00:08:34] And. What we’re doing is I am essentially making milestone number one or pillar one of the program as a free resource so that we can get as many people as possible healing shame, creating more capacity, increasing their income. We’re in this together, guys. So I’m going to be hosting a free event called the Unapologetic Offer Creation.

[00:08:58] Inside of this three [00:09:00] day live event, you are going to craft a sellable offer using nervous system science that makes offers magnetic. After that, you are going to have the opportunity to join shameless sales. But before any of it. You need to prepare or I’m encouraging you to prepare the recommended preparation for the event unapologetic offer creation is all of the podcast episodes that I’m recording at the moment.

[00:09:28] I’m structuring them in classes to support you in making sales that feel easy, abundant. That you feel confident executing, that you feel supported by your business. And so what I would recommend, if you haven’t already go back to episode number 78, it’s called exactly how to fuck up shame healing in business, where you’re going to learn about the crucial link between shame, the nervous system, and your ability to build a thriving business.

[00:09:56] How misguided approaches to shame can hinder creativity, productivity, and

[00:10:00] resilience impacting your daily business. And success, how to release the judgment associated with shame, opening doors to greater ease, creativity, and productivity. The most effective approach to breaking the cycle of self judgment and emotional discomfort and how to create a more fluid and enjoyable daily life, fostering better relationships, effortless sales, and enhanced ease.

[00:10:22] Episode number 78, you’ll find the link below. Get excited, put down on your calendar. Unapologetic graphic creation is coming. So is shameless sales.

How to magnetize clients to you – Trauma Healing, Nervous System Regulation for Anxiety-free and Profitable Business 

admin

Listen Wherever You Get Your Podcasts

Beyond fluffy “become magnetic” advice, here you learn exactly HOW to do so.

By the end of this 15 minute episode you will know: 

  • The nervous system science your primal body experiences that creates or destroys magnetism 

  • The truth about if you *need* deep shame healing 

  • The reality beyond shame healing 

 

Next steps: 

 

Listen to 76: Shame Is The Greatest Trap Of Easeful Entrepreneurship – Nervous System and Trauma Healing for Profitable Business


Start with 76 where You’re going to walk away from this episode clear on 

 

  • The physical manifestation of shame you must know to bring more energy into your body, clarity to mind and profit to business 

  • The little known way shame impacts your day to day actions in business, and how it’s related to all our not-so-helpful habits such as procrastination 

  • How to know if it’s worth your time and energy to focus on shame healing this year

 
 
TRANSCRIPT:

 

 

[00:00:00] People talk a lot about magnetizing clients and magnetizing money. This is the nervous system science behind how to do that.

 

[00:00:08] By the end of today’s episode, you are going to walk away knowing exactly how shame repels your dream clients, the nervous system science that your body experiences that creates magnetism so that you can magnetize clients to you.

 

[00:00:38] And whether or not it’s enough to deal with shame in the present moment with mindset or with different sabbatic tools, or if you need to do something a little bit deeper. Guys, welcome to class. As you guys know, I am preparing for a shameless sales and unapologetic offer creation. Shameless sales is the group program.

 

[00:00:56] Unapologetic offer creation is the three day live event that is going to be

 

[00:01:00] free. And. What we’re doing is we’re doing kind of these like mini classes to prepare you, so that you’re going to get the most out of the free event and then the group program, if you choose to join us, welcome to class, this episode is based off of a question that I got inside of Instagram DMs and it, I’m just going to, I’m going to read it.

 

[00:01:24] Hey Sheridan, I noticed that I have some great in the moment tools for shame. Is this enough or could there be something better? . question came as a response to an Instagram story that I did where we were talking about how shame is what is. Making people kind of avoid you or it’s repelling your clients and you can feel this energy. You guys have seen it, right? You felt it before when it feels like something is kind of off with that person.

 

[00:01:53] So let’s get back to basics and let’s have a look at, at shame. There is something that happens in society [00:02:00] where we are shamed, right? And we call this toxic shame. Humans will dose out this toxic shame through their words and through their actions. And just like everything that our bodies receive as stimuli. We’re going to bring that in and we’re actually going to store that into ourselves until we begin to digest that and release what is not serving and supporting for ourselves.

 

[00:02:25] So this shame kind of comes into our experience and it comes into ourselves. It manifests in our biology and it actually gives us this feeling that we are bad meat. So it’s kind of like, you’re naughty, you’re bad, you’re a bad girl, you’re a bad boy. You start internalizing that and you store in your soma, in your soma being your body, this feeling of being bad meat.

 

[00:02:53] This means that we grow up thinking that we are We’re gross, we’re disgusting, we’re worthless, um, we’re, [00:03:00] we’re, we’re kind of like different to other people. There’s something wrong with us. Um, we’re some level of distasteful, some level of bad, not worthy, uh, not deserving of good stuff. We literally have this wiring inside of our system that tells us that we are rotten.

 

[00:03:17] Sometimes you can actually, we actually hear this word, right? Like you’re so, you’re spoiled rotten or you’re a rotten child, right? And so we have, with time, this buildup of shame that seeps into the entire cellular physiology. It comes into our movements, it comes into our postures, it comes into our muscles, our meat, and we believe, feel, and express that we are this like rotten, bad, undeserving ball of shame.

 

[00:03:47] Right. In episode 76, we do go into Some of the manifestations of this, particularly as it becomes, as it comes to your business. And so you would be able to go back to that [00:04:00] episode. I’ll link it down below and you’ll be able to know, okay. Uh, if I’m doing these things or if I’m experiencing these things, it might be a shame.

 

[00:04:07] It might be a sign that shame is manifest inside of my body. And I could benefit from. Digesting it, removing it. So shame, I like to think of as like this moldy chicken. We will literally do anything to avoid it. It’s like dirty meat. We like, nobody wants to be around moldy chicken. good question Freya Thank you as you guys know Freya is my beautiful co host who is definitely an AI robo But she is building her business alongside of you guys and asking questions that you are thinking.

 

[00:04:43] Good question. Okay. The nervous system science behind magnetic offers has to do with shame because your body has something, your body, my body, everyone’s body. We all have something called neuroception. This is a term that was coined by Steven Porges. He

 

[00:05:00] is really not the founder of polyvagal theory, unless it actually is.

 

[00:05:03] The founder of polyvagal theory, the theory of itself, but polyvagal theory, right? And Stephen Porteous talks about how our nervous system takes in information about the environment it is in, as well as what’s happening in our body to tell us how safe it is and therefore what type of nervous system state it needs to be in.

 

[00:05:23] Therefore, what type of thoughts to give you, what types of impulses to give you, what types of motions to give you, um, what types of gut feelings to give you, what to do with your digestion, what to do with your muscles, what to do with your breathing, your heart rate and all of your organ based activities.

 

[00:05:43] Using neuroception, we feel into the nervous system of every single being that is around us and we get a sense of, okay, what are they experiencing about the world and what does that mean [00:06:00] for me? Now, we already know that a nervous system that is experiencing shame is manifesting as rotten meat. It believes it’s rotten meat.

 

[00:06:13] It believes it’s like moldy chicken. And it’s acting as if it were moldy chicken. We also know you will do anything to avoid stinky moldy chicken. So, what do we end up doing? We end up avoiding people who are holding a lot of shame. Now, yes, there is nuance here. Sometimes we’re attracted to them because we’re working out our own shadows and, like, all that stuff.

 

[00:06:42] But especially in sales. Sales is sales is an exchange of confidence and clarity and congruence. So We don’t want somebody who is. tainted with shame. Why would I want to purchase something from somebody who’s tainted with shame? My nervous system is going to avoid that

 

[00:07:00] person and you’ll notice how the more confident people are, the more magnetic they become, how the more authentic they are, the more magnetic they become.

 

[00:07:07] This is why we have this obsession with authenticity because it is the anti of shame. It’s, it’s the ultra, is that not the alter ego? It’s the opposite of shame. So what we really need to do is we need to, uh, Address shame and digest it through the system, release it from the system. If you want to magnetize clients and profit towards yourself or anything in life, really.

 

[00:07:37] So coming back to the original question, which was, I noticed that I have some great tools for shame in the moment. And so she’s probably referring to like Um, tools that you’re feeling shame and then you do a 20 minute breathwork practice and like now, now you’re no longer feeling it or maybe you journal about it or something, right?

 

[00:07:56] Is this enough or could there be something better? There is something

 

[00:08:00] better and you are about to experience that you’re in the right place when you join Unapologetic Offer Creation and Shameless Sales, you’re going to experience that something better because. What we’re going to do inside of those containers and what I’m encouraging you to do, even if you don’t join the container is to actually begin releasing the shame from the primal body until we release it from the primal body, it’s still going to be there.

 

[00:08:30] So yes, you release it in the moment, maybe you become more magnetic for 20 minutes, but the overall. Story that other people are hearing, feeling, perceiving with neuroception from you is one of shame, which means that they are going to be averse to engaging with you in the same way. Does it mean that nobody engages with you ever?

 

[00:08:54] Absolutely not. We’re not going to go with two extremes with this guys. It means

 

[00:09:00] that. The level of engagement and magnetism and attraction that you could be generating is going to be far superior to what, what, sorry, the level of attraction and magnetism and income and, um. Experiences that your magnetism magnetizing to you when you have a primal body that is drenched in shame, it is what you experience is going to be far superior to what you’re going to experience when you heal.

 

[00:09:35] Your shame body when you purge through or digest through the shame that has been pulled into your into your body, because when you begin to heal that toxic shame in your body, people are no longer going to be perceiving it quite as much with neuroception. And that’s going to affect you. And then in

 

[00:10:00] different ways, some of the ways that I have seen this effect, both myself and my clients over the years are, I’m going to tell you them, I think that the biggest one, especially for entrepreneurs and service providers.

 

[00:10:15] Is that you end sales calls or you end pitchers with this warmth in your body and a smile on your face and a lightness, you know, it’s like that time that I, yeah, I think of myself often and you’re like ready to voice message your best friend. Cause it went so well. Like that time that I fell over on my tennis shoes because of it.

 

[00:10:36] Yeah. Like you have this energy of like, that went so well, even if the person doesn’t sign up or anything just, Oh, that went so well. Ah, healing your shame body. And then applying that to business means that you increase the clarity and confidence and quality of your marketing and quantity of your marketing without having to experience more stress or overwhelm.

 

[00:10:59] It [00:11:00] means that you wake up to an inbox full of like invoice paid emails and that your bank account is steadily growing. Yesterday I was sitting with my roommate and I got an email and it was a pay of two payments for two amounts of money that I didn’t recognize. I was like, what? When did I, what? When did I get that?

 

[00:11:19] Why am I getting money? And I was like, Oh yeah, I forgot that I had, I had, you know, I signed these two clients on these bespoke passive packages. So that was cool. So those moments, right? It’s sales that no longer feel salesy, pushy or icky that even those words have left your vocabulary. It sells the. Like in this example, you know, I’m like, okay, we made a bespoke package.

 

[00:11:42] That was the correct thing. It didn’t feel salesy. It felt like a collaboration. It felt like a casual conversation. I walked away from that sales call feeling really amazing. Totally forgot about it. Received the payment a few days later. Cool. Amazing. There’s this deep breath about that. There’s this lightness, there’s a deep confidence

 

[00:12:00] and you become this walking inspiration, this permission slip to make life easy, happy, light, full of love.

 

[00:12:09] You’re no longer ashamed of things being too easy for yourself or things going too well. You love sharing what you know and you do it with clean energy that they’re inspired to be happy even when their life is rough. You You, you love, you know, waking up before your alarm. Those little things. You like, you get to spend more time looking at the plants around you.

 

[00:12:34] And this is a really big one about money. You get to be money neutral, which means that money means nothing about you, your worth, anything you’ve done or anything you need to prove or do to anything or anyone money covers your bills. It covers your desires. You feel confident receiving it. You feel confident holding it for longer periods of time so that you can reach your saving goals, your investment goals, and you also feel comfortable spending it without guilt.

 

[00:12:59] You see that money

 

[00:13:00] supports you and supports others. And when you look at your bank account, you do not experience tension in your body. This is what we do when we heal shame. And then we apply it to entrepreneurship. We apply it to business. Your job right now is to start. Really feeling in to these podcast episodes that I’m releasing this little mini classes.

 

[00:13:22] And so if you haven’t already, I really want to encourage you to go back to episode number 76 called shame is the greatest trap of easeful entrepreneurship. You are going to walk away from that episode really clear on the physical manifestations of shame in your body. Um, that you’d like to know about so that you can bring in more energy so that you can have more clarity so that you can have more profit.

 

[00:13:46] You’re also going to. You’re going to know the little known way that shame impacts your day to day actions in business and how it is related to not so helpful habits such as procrastination and how to know if it’s your Worth your time and [00:14:00] energy to focus on a shame healing this year. Enjoy that podcast

No Dark Night Of The Soul Necessary – How To Make Shame Healing Lighthearted – Trauma Healing and Nervous System Regulation for Entrepreneurs

admin

Listen Wherever You Get Your Podcasts

What if I told you that the key to unlocking confidence, clarity, and energy doesn’t require diving deep into pain and shame? In this episode, we explore a more effective approach than traditional shadow work and emotional catharsis.

Discover why you don’t need to endure days of suffering to heal feelings of inadequacy. Learn practical strategies to overcome the “not enough” syndrome, the type that hinders business ideas, leaves DMs unread, and fosters self-doubt. We’ll delve into a real client’s story, providing insights to transform your relationship with shame and business challenges.

  •  

Next step: 

 

Listen to 76: Shame Is The Greatest Trap Of Easeful Entrepreneurship – Nervous System and Trauma Healing for Profitable Business  

 

Start with 76 where You’re going to walk away from this episode clear on 

 

  • The physical manifestation of shame you must know to bring more energy into your body, clarity to mind and profit to business 

  • The little known way shame impacts your day to day actions in business, and how it’s related to all our not-so-helpful habits such as procrastination 

  • How to know if it’s worth your time and energy to focus on shame healing this year 

Exactly how to f*ck up shame healing in business – Stress Relief, Nervous System and Trauma Healing for Profitable Business

admin

Listen Wherever You Get Your Podcasts

Have you ever struggled with processing emotions or found it challenging to move past shame quickly? In this episode, we uncover a common mistake that most people make in shame healing and how it can lead to a freeze response in the nervous system creating more procrastination, trouble making decisions, self-criticism and lake of creativity.

By the end of the episode you will know: 

 

-The crucial link between shame, the nervous system, and your ability to build a thriving business.

-How misguided approaches to shame can hinder creativity, productivity, and resilience, impacting your daily life and business success.

-How to release the judgment associated with shame, opening doors to greater ease, creativity, and productivity in your life and business.

-The most effective approach to breaking the cycle of self-judgment and emotional discomfort.

-How to create a more fluid and enjoyable daily life, fostering better relationships, effortless sales, and enhanced ease. 

 

 

TRANSCRIPT:

 

[00:00:00] Sheridan: Have you ever tried to process an emotion or stop being so judgmental to yourself and you just haven’t been able to find that space of peace and ease on the other side as quickly as you’d like? In this episode, you are going to uncover the very common way that most people fuck up shame healing. And the way that they all meant it, and the way that they make, they increment the way that shame shows up in their life, leading to a nervous system freeze response. You’re going to learn how to release a lot of the judgment want to heal myself and I want to fix myself energy that comes with building a business.

 

[00:00:52] In the personal development space and increasing your self leadership capacity, your resilient capacity.

 

[00:01:00] My background is in integrative somatic trauma therapy. That means looking at the whole person and using the body to heal chronic stress or traumatic situations that the body is holding either from past events or ancestral patterns that are held in our DNA.

 

[00:01:18] There’s a lot of. information out on the internet about, um, shame and trauma. Like it’s really awesome how, how mainstream it’s become. However, I I’m noticing that our education around shame and the way that we process or move through shame hasn’t caught up with the education we have around emotions and emotional processing and trauma healing.

 

[00:01:44] So inside of this quick episode, we’re going to look at what not to do and what to do instead and why it’s important to address the shame body as you continue. Doing your inner work and especially as you continue building your dreams and your business. It’s, I’m not kidding when

 

[00:02:00] I say it’s going to change everything.

 

[00:02:01] I was on a coaching call yesterday with a client of mine and we were working through something and she came to this idea of, you know, there’s this underlying shame that of there’s something wrong with me, you know, in her head all day. There’s this underlying pattern of like, well, there’s something wrong with me.

 

[00:02:17] Something goes wrong. There’s something wrong with me and something didn’t work out. There’s something wrong with me. People don’t want to hang out with me. There’s something wrong with me. And Oh, I just, I get excited when I explained to her that we needed to take this approach from a very shame free way, and that the intention was to look at this without shame.

 

[00:02:37] She just looked at me with these eyes of like, yes, she just showed and this is actually really exciting. Yes, this is really exciting. Guys, this is really exciting. There is so much lightness ahead of you. There is so much ease ahead of you. There is so much profit. There is so much anxiety ness and freeness vibes ahead of you.

 

[00:02:57] [00:03:00] Throughout our day, based on what’s happening internally or externally, we have certain emotions come up inside of us. These emotions are made to move through the body. As energy, be experienced in the body as energy and then complete within about 90 seconds.

 

[00:03:18] Sheridan: When I say complete, it means you kind of move over that wave and then on the other side you find neutrality. Some people describe this as peacefulness, ease and stillness. So these might be emotions such as anger, fear, grief, right? Once that emotion is complete, completed, energy is released, and we free up space to be creative, to be proactive, , be connected to other people. However, When shame comes into the mix, when our body is holding a lot of shame, emotions cannot complete. When I say that our body, it feels like our body is holding a lot of shame, think of it like your body is a container and it has a system that moves through.

 

[00:03:59] That [00:04:00] whole, that is within that container that communicates everything that’s happening inside of that container. That system is your nervous system. Now within that container, if based on our past experiences or even our ancestral experiences, we have felt any type of shame, it kind of, it gets kind of put in that container and unless we actively and proactively remove it outside of the container, we live with that shame in our container.

 

[00:04:31] Everybody experiences shame. It’s just a part of how we live together as a society. We essentially not, some people might disagree with me with this, but this is the easiest way that I, I have to believe it.

 

[00:04:45] Shame helps us avoid doing things that are going to be harmful to our belonging in the community. That is healthy. It becomes toxic when our body or our mind [00:05:00] misunderstand it, or we’re holding shame inside and shame does what we call binding or latching on to emotions and stories and essentially making an emotion or a story or an experience in your head full of shame when it really didn’t need to be.

 

[00:05:19] That happens because we’re holding the shame in our body. So when shame latches onto these stories, these emotions, these experiences, we can’t complete the emotion, meaning we can’t gain the wisdom and that is needed from that emotion. We can’t look at it objectively. We are stuck in that cycle. That’s why we can see we have chronic health problems or we get that emotional energy begins.

 

[00:05:45] negatively impacting us. We have chronic health problems, we are really judgmental of ourselves, people do not want to hang out with us, , people, yeah, we feel heavy, we feel anxious, we feel fearful, but consistently we

 

[00:06:00] have trouble resting, we cannot be creative, we have brain fog, um, we are reactive in partnership, we are reactive with the things around us, we can’t sleep.

 

[00:06:11] I could go on for days. The moral of the story is that if you have a lot of shame in your body, you will not access the amount of resilience, creativity, and connection that is innately available to you. This helps you connect in your relationships. It helps you do sales in a really easy way.

 

[00:06:29] It helps you receive money and it helps your day to day life just feel like a massive little flow and dance. Very common problem and the very common advice is to process shame or to process guilt or to Fix yourself or heal yourself Shame often appears like a feeling of guilt or a feeling of like something’s wrong and I need to fix something a lot of people who end up in this personal development realm end up in 

 

[00:07:00] an action of how do I fix this?

[00:07:01] How do I heal it? How do I get rid of this feeling? This can manifest sometimes as a, why didn’t I do XYZ or let me find the right strategy or let me find the right coach or I’ve made the wrong decision. I shouldn’t have done this in the past. What this does is it pulls you out of creativity. It pulls you out of focusing on the solution and moving forward.

 

[00:07:21] It pulls you out of feeling I’m capable. I’ve got this. This is totally going to be fine. Not a problem. It pulls you out of productivity and nothing gets completed. And then because you’re feeling stagnant or you’re dwelling on the past or you’re judging the way that you’ve acted or the way that somebody else has acted, you end up feeling icky with guilt.

 

[00:07:41] And this all mints. The idea that you’re doing something wrong and there’s grossness inside with which Aggravates the stuckness that you feel which creates more shame and we end up in this cycle There are three things that you can do instead of going into this cycle that are going to heal your shame

 

[00:08:00] I am NOT going to share them in this episode.

 

[00:08:02] I’m gonna make another episode that is dedicated to them It’s gonna be we’re gonna go in depth But your homework for right now is to notice and this is the biggest mistake how you fixate Or you focus on fixing yourself, how you fixate or you focus on healing yourself, how you fixate or you focus on doing things better, finding the right strategy.

 

[00:08:27] Yes. Strategy is important. Yes. You can do things better, but there is a different energy between, Hmm. This could be more effective and more efficient if I did it like this versus there’s something wrong with the way that I’ve been doing it so far and I need to fix it. There’s something wrong with me and I need to fix it.

 

[00:08:47] There’s something wrong with me and I need to heal it. There’s something wrong with this process and I need to x, y, like. Fixing and healing is not what we are here for. And I want you to notice this week, just kind of notice, like, [00:09:00] when do I pop into fixing or healing? When do I judge my past actions? When do I judge the way that I’m managing this?

 

[00:09:08] Even, I’m going to give an example, a very tangible one. This podcast was supposed to come out two days ago, and halfway through the week, I decided that I wanted it to be a different podcast, , and I’ve had a really busy week, and so, and it’s, I, you guys know me, I when I say I’m going to do something, I do it.

 

[00:09:26] So it’s really odd that this wasn’t out on the day that it was supposed to be out. I essentially had two options. I was having some trouble editing the one that I wanted it to come out cause I’m using a new software and it’s an interview. Um, and uh, I’ve been busy and well, I’ve been busy and I’ve been having fun.

 

[00:09:41] So I had two options. I could spend the last three days thinking about how I really need to get this podcast done. Um, how, Um, unapologetic offer creation and shameless sales launch is going to be affected because I didn’t get this out on time, how I should have done things XYZ, um, how this means something [00:10:00] greater about me and how I need to be more mindful about how I am disciplined or I need to like be better at nervous system work or creatively like I could have done, I could have gone the spiral, I could have felt guilty, , I could have done a million things.

 

[00:10:15] What would have happened if I had done that? I would have gone. Dunked straight into resistance and released at any type of creativity. , any type of living in the present moment. I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed the, you know, dinner that I had with my friends last night. , the beautiful sun, that sunset that I got to drive home from last night and I would have slept badly.

 

[00:10:34] And then this podcast would have been really weird or I would have just felt heavy in the shower thinking about it. You guys feel it, you know it. Here’s what I did instead. I said, huh, yeah, nothing wrong, makes sense. It’s different than what I would normally done. Probably not something that I want to repeat.

 

[00:10:54] And I definitely want to be more effective and efficient about this next week. I’ll sit down on Monday and look at how that’s going to happen.

 

[00:11:00] Um, in the meantime, I’m really happy and I’m grateful and I’m celebratorying XYZ. Celebrating XYZ. And Yeah, I’m going to be here and I’m going to make this piece of fish and I’m looking forward to waking up on Saturday and recording the podcast.

 

[00:11:15] And hopefully I’ll have the information about editing so that I can get the original one out and if I don’t then I’ll just do another one when I’ve got everything planned. And things haven’t gone to plan and I’m still doing this later. But I got to enjoy and be present with everything else that happened.

 

 

[00:11:32] I got to feel really cuddled up in my bed last night. I got to sleep in a little bit. And look, the podcast is still going to get out. And I’ve chosen and I’ve used my body and I’ve used the power of my mind to not make this something wrong about me. , I don’t need to change strategies, I don’t need to fix myself, I don’t need to heal.

 

[00:11:52] I’ve bought ease and creativity into the moment. I didn’t even know what I was going to say in this podcast when I hit record and now I have a story.

 

[00:11:59] Freya: [00:12:00] Wait Sheridan, but what is the nervous system mistake people make around shame?

 

[00:12:04] Sheridan: Focusing on it and going into it.

 

[00:12:07] Because focusing on it and going into it just creates more of it, and we don’t want that. When we focus on it and we go into it, it’s too much for the body. So we end up in the freeze response. We end up in the freeze response. It’s too much for the body. Your body wasn’t made to hold that much shame. Your nervous system wasn’t made to hold that much shame because it is a socialized emotion or response.

 

[00:12:30] It is not a core emotion. So we, we can’t hold as much of it. And it takes us into dysregulation and that freeze response where everything is stagnant and we procrastinate. So don’t focus so much on it. Don’t focus on the guilt. Don’t focus on the judgment. Don’t try and fix it.

 

[00:12:47] Instead, let’s start with observing it and stop having shame about having it.

Why Smart People Need To Stop Looking For The Answers To Make Consistent $5k Months – Learn How Alyssa Used Trauma Healing and Nervous System Regulation to Create A Profitable Business inside Body Based Business 

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Listen Wherever You Get Your Podcasts

Have you ever just wanted somebody to tell you that you were doing it right and this is going to be how you get everything you want?

 

I certainly have. And Alyssa, our guest, has as well.

Today’s podcast is going to support you in:

– identifying where your inner good girl might be sabotaging your success

– how to move through frustration after you’ve invested a lot and you feel like your business should be further along

– what to do when you feel frustrated by your coach

– how to overcome the fear of criticism, judgment, judgment, and fear of persecution using the wisdom of your body

– what to do if you’re considering getting supported in your business, but you’re moving through a personal crisis, and business isn’t your main focus. 

You, just like Alyssa can learn to find the answers within you own body so that you inner good girl allows you to have success, you over come fear of judgement and create a coaching relationship full of trust – with me – inside of Body Based Business by first booking your Embodied Sales Call. 

Inside this 30 minute call, we’ll craft your $5k Body Based Blueprint and determine whether Body Based Business is your next best investment to create a 2024 that’s more regulated and more profitable. 



TRANSCRIPT:



[00:00:00] Sheridan: Have you ever just wanted somebody to tell you that you were doing it right and this is going to be the way that you get everything that you want? I certainly have. And Alyssa, our guest, has as well. Today’s podcast is going to support you in identifying where your inner good girl might be kind of sabotaging your success, how to move through frustration after you’ve invested a lot and you feel like your business should be further along on feeling frustrated by your coach on fear of criticism, judgment, judgment, and fear of persecution, how to use your body to overcome that.


[00:00:50] What to do when you’re considering getting supported in your business, but you’re moving through a personal crisis and business perhaps isn’t your main focus. .


[00:01:00] I originally met her when I learnt and I was curious. She was a nurse. She was also a former Catholic nun and now she works as a financial, spiritual and emotional mentor supporting people in the.


[00:01:13] process and methodology, divine feminine finance. She empowers heart centered business owners to transform their relationship with money through self love, divine connection and financial education.


[00:01:24] She spends her day supporting people in connecting to an inner source of love and abundance so that they can have more money. This is, it’s very different to how she used to spend them before we started working together.


[00:01:38] was oscillating between hope and despair, excitement and frustration, um, basically the [00:02:00] rollercoaster of entrepreneurial, however you say that word, um, yeah, so I, a bit of a rollercoaster in terms of like impatience, fear of visibility, self doubt, perfectionism.


[00:02:18] Confusion. Lack of clarity about my niche. Must I go on? And so, those are all very real aspects of what I was current, at that time, currently experiencing. And it was, um, I mean, I, I, if I, like, looking back on it, I would say it’s par for the course. Like, it’s part of what, the stage I was in, on one hand. And, um, Yeah, but then it was like part of it in my case, which I, I feel is true for a lot of people who, who are starting their own business or


[00:03:00] have started their own business and then they feel like they haven’t quite found the niche that they want or the etc.


[00:03:06] And so for me, I had all these years of experience and education and wisdom and expertise, but I didn’t know how to bring it all together into a cohesive focus. Which at the moment of recording this, I feel like I’m calling it multi modality madness. And so is a way of like summarizing it. Um, and so I had this unique kind of background and I was trying to figure out a way to make it into a business and to focus it.


[00:03:38] Um, and. just for context, if you don’t mind, I’d love to briefly share about that. So, okay. So like I was a nurse initially, um, that was my original like post high school training was, um, a nursing education. So in the U S it’s called the bachelor of science and nursing. [00:04:00] And after I did that for a bit, then I decided to become a nun.


[00:04:04] And so I was a Catholic nun for 13 years. And in that I devoted myself to a mystical path. Contemplative, semi monastic fusion of silence and directing retreats and teaching people how to be mystics, basically. And I studied theology, and I went on Tibetan Buddhist retreats in Nepal, and like, all kinds, all kinds of things.


[00:04:26] And then I decided, I woke up one day and realized, I didn’t want to be a nun anymore. And so, for various reasons. Um, and when I left, I realized, what am I going to do now? So I, I’m obviously fast forwarding that story. Um, but what happened is that in that process of like asking myself this question of my original question at that moment was, how do I find a job that integrates all my knowledge and experience and passions and gifts and


[00:05:00] all of that?


[00:05:00] And, and then when I asked that question, I realized inside of me, the answer was that job doesn’t exist. I have to create it. And in that moment I decided to start my own business, even though I had no idea what that meant. Like I had, I literally had no clue. Um, and so when I met, when I met Cher, when I met you, I started, I was at this place where I had been, um, learning a lot.


[00:05:29] I’d been taking tons of courses. I’d had several different mentors, some coaches and things like that in different kind of containers. And systems. And I was trying to find the external, like I was looking for the answer in external authority. Is ultimately what was happening. And I went, because I have a long sphere, yeah.[00:06:00]


[00:06:20] Yes.


[00:06:41] Yes. Really good question. Um, so if I could describe that, um, It’s really[00:07:00]


[00:07:00] part of working with you, what, what it helped me identify was this, and in the sense that I realized that I, like that inner self or that part or whichever framework, you know, there’s different frameworks that have, you use to support people and have supported me as well as other complimentary frameworks I had used in the past.


[00:07:21] And it kind of came together when you. Um, you were helping me to like peace out what was going on, um, in different levels. And so on one level I would say before I met you, what was happening that I later identified was that I, it’s like my inner good girl that you talk about, um, occasionally and that I had known before, but the way that you integrate it with business is really helpful.


[00:07:50] And my inner good girl that. only knows how to function based on external cues. So external direction, affirmation, validation, [00:08:00] and extrinsic motivation. It, she was just screaming, will someone just tell me what to do? Like somebody just tell me what to do because that was the only way that she, that’s the way that she had learned how to orient herself in life like that.


[00:08:14] The way I look at it now is that inner good girl was my, Like on one hand from the emotional, the emotional like level and on the nervous system level, it was a survival, it was a survival skill. Like it was a coping mechanism and survival skill to be like, I just want to be safe. I just want to do the right thing in, in whatever way that meant that I would be successful.


[00:08:38] Like in a way it was a way of measuring success, but that way in the moment I decided to start my own business was a recipe for failure. And that was a total disconnect inside of me that was a constant clash, like in my nervous system, in my everything. And it was like, I realized that the entire framework that [00:09:00] I had used to navigate my life, my, my education, my success, being a straight A student and all the like other ways of measuring success.


[00:09:11] It was a disaster. Like it was a failure. And that it like flipped it, that success framework on, on its head. And so I was, the frustration that came in was, I mean, you could say it was part of the, the process of relearning and healing that kind of on a level trauma. If you want to put it, you know, depending on how you look at it.


[00:09:37] Um, where I, I realized like, oh wow, the entire compass that I’ve used to navigate. Success and achievement, it doesn’t work here, like if in my business, like it literally doesn’t work and it, it was like a stumbling block every single time I wanted to post something or, or get clarity on my niche or et cetera, X, Y, Z, [00:10:00] continue that.


[00:10:39] No, no, that’s, I, yeah. Um, I, so to describe like, The transition in, from like when, when I met you and when we started working together. Just to mention a couple more things about that because it, it is helpful I think for people to [00:11:00] understand and to connect.


[00:11:08] Yes, totally, yeah absolutely. Um, so in that, at that point when I, like going back to describing. Um, just specifically for me, what I was quote unquote, niching between or pivoting back and forth and trying to find, navigate that aspect of business at that stage was, um, I started focusing on inner wisdom, life purpose, self love, divine connection, and financial education empowerment.


[00:11:42] And so I was, I had clients, it felt a little bit all over the place and I had clients in all of these areas. Um, I was doing it all by word of mouth and I wasn’t like marketing it yet because I was just, um, exploring where I could find the most


[00:12:00] alignment, like both for myself and, and with others. And so that was like, inside of me, I knew I was like, there, I really want to bring all of this together, but I just don’t know how.


[00:12:13] And, and it, it felt, that’s why I say frustration. Cause when I met you, it was like, I. There was a bit of frustration already at that point because I was like, I, this is taking too long. This is just taking too long and I think, I think a lot of people can relate to that when you’re building a business. It just feels like it’s taking forever, especially if, depending on where you’re at, like if you’ve decided to go all in on your business or if you still have a part time job or full time job, like depending on all those decisions, you know, that like that you’re making in the process as an entrepreneur and, and so.


[00:12:48] For me, I, I was at the stage where I really wanted to go, quote unquote, go all in and just, like, focus on my business so I could build it. But because I didn’t have that clarity about my niche, that was, it was still a big


[00:13:00] frustration. It felt really slow. So, when I, like, this answers a couple other questions, but, like, I had had multiple mentors and coaches and programs like I mentioned earlier.


[00:13:16] And I’d invested a lot already in support and, and on one hand, I recognize that that like what going back to what you were asking before about how do you navigate between when I’m looking for external advice and support and when I’m like wanting an external authority to give me like I’m removing my authority to someone outside of me.


[00:13:38] And that was part of the learning process for me. That working with you helped me to begin to feel into a little bit more Because on one hand although everything I do feel that I’ve done and taken as a business Or owner so far. They’ve all had their value like


[00:14:00] they’ve all had their place But it often was a more of a masculine approach, which we need, I need that in business, especially because I tend to have a lot of more feminine aspects.


[00:14:11] And so I did need the masculine principle kind of structure and foundation. Like that’s one aspect of what I was looking for outside of me, so to speak. Um, but I also needed to build that inside of me, you know, and, and so those were some other, those are some other layers to it. And I couldn’t, like, it was very, Um, because I still couldn’t piece through that and that this is like a daily navigation.


[00:14:35] This is not like I have figured that out, but I must, yeah,


[00:14:44] yeah, exactly, exactly. But when, because of that in inner clarity that I was really like angst, like I felt this angst of wanting to find that inner clarity, like that inner alignment of like, this is it. And the 


[00:15:00] way I would describe it when I was like, I was like preparing to meet with you and have this podcast and it was really like the frustration of that inner good girl saying like, well, someone just tell me what to do.


[00:15:11] Um, and sometimes when Cher and I would meet, I don’t know if I’ve ever told it to you like this Cher, but I would get so frustrated. She would make me even more frustrated because she would be like, wait a minute. No. Okay, well, how about, what if you just, and I would be like, Can you just help me, like, write this post for Facebook?


[00:15:29] Like, I need to create my lead magnet. And she would be like, Okay, let’s back up. Like, how does it feel in your body? And I’m like, You know what? Like, I don’t even care! Just You know, like, fuck you!


[00:15:53] Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it was, there were definitely those moments


[00:16:00] and so, but the, if I could encapsulate that in a funny way, I was, when I was reflecting on this, I was like on, on the niche side of things, like, and looking for an answer and clarity and all that, I felt like I was on a wild goose chase in many moments that I just couldn’t put a name to the wild goose.


[00:16:20] Like, what the hell do I call this wild goose? If only I knew her name, I could call out to her in the darkness, and maybe she would hear me calling and come to me. And I, but it was like, I don’t know who she is. I don’t know what to call her, but I know she exists. And so it felt like this, like, unicorn, you know, niche or business or something.


[00:16:39] And,


[00:16:50] yeah. Yes. Yeah, exactly. And, um, And then one day, I remember, I was


[00:17:00] in a session with Cher, and we’d been working together for, I’m fast forwarding because now we’ve been working together for a while, um, but there was this moment where I, I had been telling her, like, when I was, I’m like, I’m talking to you and I’m talking to your audience, like you and her, and, okay,


[00:17:24] I love it. Okay, good. So you’re, you’re tracking, um, you can navigate between you and her. Um,


[00:17:35] cool. So I remember cause I’d been, I’ve been sharing with Cher multiple times about like, okay, I’m, you know, I’m working, I’m focusing on self love with this client. I’m working on inner wisdom and divine connection. And then with this client, I’m focusing on like financial empowerment and tools. to help them build a strong foundation, etc.


[00:17:56] And, in one of the sessions, support sessions [00:18:00] we had, there was this moment where she, I can’t remember, I don’t know if you remember what you asked me, but I think you asked me something like, how would you describe what you do? I,


[00:18:14] I was trying to remember exactly how, but anyways, it’s not important, it’s something around that. And, and I remember I said something like, I don’t know, it’s, I guess it’s kind of like I’m, I’m a divine feminine finance guide. And I just like blurted it out. And I was like, what was that? And your eyes just like popped open like, oh my god, like that’s it.


[00:18:43] And I was like, and you said something like, that’s it. And I was like, Part of me was like, yeah, that’s it. I found the wild goose. The unicorn has landed. But then, I immediately began to dismiss it. And I was like, no, no, no, no. What the heck is that? No, it’s not that. It’s like, I need the


[00:19:00] masculine too. I love the masculine.


[00:19:01] It’s not just the feminine. And you were like, stop. Stop. And she said to me, she was like, Can you just like back up and take a second and Like, feel into what you just said, and don’t let your mind, because it feels to me like your mind is then just, like, trying to dismiss it or something like that.


[00:19:50] Yep, back to survival mode, yeah, totally, absolutely, a thousand percent, and even like connecting that,


[00:20:00] what you just said with what we were saying before, even like the inner good girl and the survival mechanisms and the way that you talk about You know, the nervous system, um, like sabotaging our expansion and growth and that, that’s one specific kind of moment where, and there’s many, you know, as you say, but that was a big one that was like massive.


[00:20:24] And um, that was a moment where I remember it was like, okay. If I think about it now, and I can say this for people who either are currently receiving mentorship from you or are considering it or whatever, is if I hadn’t had Cher in that moment to question me and to stop me and to be like, hold your horses, like that, don’t just let your mind go off again and dismiss, you know, this, this like birthing of this


[00:21:00] new, um, what do you call it?


[00:21:02] Like, uh, A new paradigm for me, the way I call it is it’s part of a new paradigm of business where we are birthing something new. And I’m not the only one I’m birthing something new in my own way. But so many, I believe people who come to your work are people who they’re literally birthing something that has not been done before.


[00:21:23] And that’s why it’s so hard sometimes to navigate because you’re like, how do I do this? Like, I don’t have a framework that can, that works anymore. And so, I mean, I can just keep answering the questions like,[00:22:00]


[00:22:40] yeah, yeah, that’s a really, really good question. I can just say that from the time, like I am not the same person in my business anymore. Like I, if I could just say in the last two months, like I, I went from. Being 


[00:23:00] paralyzed essentially in my fear of visibility, my fear of like the perfectionism around things of like, uh, the voice that’s trying to please people, fear of criticism and persecution, all of that to now, like from that moment I described of find finding, quote unquote the clarity around my niche, um, which was ultimately a fusion of mysticism and spirituality.


[00:23:25] Self-love. Emotional work and nervous system, as well as financial empowerment. That’s my niche. My niche is divine feminine finance. And once I made once after a lot, a while of working with you found that from that moment on, I, Oh, well then I had a major life challenge that came up out of the blue, um, delayed things a little bit more, but.


[00:23:52] I had, still had your support during that time, which actually saved me in many ways. And then once I got through that a


[00:24:00] little bit, I ran my, I created and I sold and created an, a six week program. I, I managed to do that when I was going through like one of the most difficult moments of my life. And then I.


[00:24:23] Set up my first landing page. I started my email list for the first time. I learned the tech, which was always really, like, challenging. And I hadn’t wanted to make the financial commitment or merit to marry a platform until I was, like, ready to do so. And all of those, like, technical, structural things. Now I just ran my first free event, Immersion and Retreat, last week on Facebook.


[00:24:49] I’m posting more. I’m posting more. You know, all of the things that were like, I don’t know, I don’t know how to do, like, what should I do, like, all of the things, and it’s not perfect, but that’s the point, like, 


[00:25:00] the perfectionism is no longer keeping me from, from just, um, taking action and, and birthing this thing that is, I know it’s for, it’s for the good of humanity, like, it’s not, this is, it’s not about, it’s not just about me, like, it really is, It’s a massive contribution, um, for people to be empowered in this way.


[00:25:26] So yeah,

[00:26:00] [00:27:00]

[00:27:27] yeah. Um,

[00:27:33] first I would say probably something similar to what you would say because I teach people this too. First listen to your body. And that is like the first. Because all of the external things are always going to be really challenging. Um, And, if your body says yes, then


[00:28:00] move forward with it. And if you can’t find the answer, or it feels like it’s not clear, you keep doubting, then sign up.

[00:28:08] Because, because that’s what she can help you with. Like, literally. And if,


[00:28:21] Yeah, and if it’s no then it’s no obviously like but you wouldn’t really be here like if it was a total no You know, it’s just like you have to see what the timing is and all of that and it’s all of that is valid of course, but honestly, it’s the inner like the It’s Because part of the way that you approach this share is that it’s not it is about your business But obviously because it’s based on Body wisdom and embodiment and all of that.


[00:28:50] It applies to every area of life. And, and so, even if Someone is going through something really


[00:29:00] challenging. It’s one of the best ways to stay connected with their business and not completely, I don’t even have the word for how I have felt at moments where I’m like, I can’t, like, I can’t do this. I can’t do this.


[00:29:14] It’s too much. Yeah. I’m overwhelmed. Like a total overwhelmed. Like I can’t even keep it together to work on my business right now. Like if you’re experiencing that. Um, then this is one of the best kinds of support as a business owner is what I would say because there’s so many kinds of support out there in terms of coaching and business.


[00:29:38] But the best one for me when it comes to moments of crisis in life, not only business is having the embodied, um, integration and the nervous system application. Within it, uh, because we do like, especially when we’re going through a hard time. It’s a literally


[00:30:00] freak. It’s freak out time. Like it’s freak out.


[00:30:01] And so all, everything comes up and it can just be, yeah, it can be panic. There’s, yeah, there’s a lot that happens. Yeah.[00:31:00]


[00:31:12] So for me, when I, I can’t remember if I mentioned this before. Um, Um, like today on the call with you, I have, but, um, because I, I am a nurse, I studied the nervous system and so in depth, like physiology and all of that and worked with the nervous system. Right. Um, but I studied the old model, the, what I would call the old model.


[00:31:40] There’s two parts of the nervous system. There’s the sympathetic fight or flight. Freeze, fun, et cetera. And there’s the parasympathetic rest and digest. So you’re either running from a tiger or you’re sleeping in your bed at night. And there’s, what happens in between? Like what the hell happens in between?


[00:31:57] And that’s where the polyvagal theory comes in.


[00:32:00] So interestingly enough, I had, I had not long before I met you, I had actually not read but listened polyvagal theory. Um. Um. And, well, I mean, there’s now obviously many books on polyvagal theory, but I had listened to the, um, Stephen Porges. What’s his name?


[00:32:20] Oh, so bad. Porges, right? Okay, you can correct this and edit. Stephen Porges, yeah. The father, if you want to say, or whatever. Um, yes, that’s the one I’m referring to. Yeah, it’s a little bit dry. It’s very clinic it’s kind of It’s clinical. It’s a clinical approach. It’s a little dry. But. Okay. Yes. Yeah. So I had read that not long before I met you.


[00:32:57] So then when I met you and we talked about this,


[00:33:00] um, and I, I really loved that you integrated this. And I thought, okay, I’ve been taking lots of business programs. Nobody out there has talked about the polyvagal theory in business. And, and so for me it was like, Oh yeah, this is amazing. Right. This is like so cool.


[00:33:17] Um, and, and so that, that was like a personal, right. Interesting connection. And then after working with you and then working with my clients, I knew I wanted to integrate some aspect of the physical, like physiology and the nervous system because I know how important that is. Um, but I didn’t know how I was going to integrate it necessarily because I was literally doing like.


[00:33:39] Deep Inner Sanctuary Womb Work, Divine Feminine, Divine Masculine, and Financial Empowerment, you know. And so when I ended up finding that integration between these different areas into Divine Feminine Finance, it fit right in because I could support people with the awareness around their nervous system and their relationship with money.


[00:33:59] So [00:34:00] now I’m applying it in a specific area and way. Where, I mean, I don’t do it exactly like you do, but we do it very complimentary, Complimentarily, Um, Into, This, this way of really Helping to Have awareness around That Beautiful Bridge Between running from a tiger And like, being a zombie Hehehe Like, and, and to find like the, the pleasure and the joy and the ease and the nourishment and all of that in their relationship with money.[00:35:00]


[00:35:25] So I have created a program called birth a new relationship with money and that is a six week program. So I offer that if people want to have like build a foundation, but they don’t want to do something super long. That’s one option. I also do one on one work to go much deeper with people and really personalize and customize their bridge, the, how to bridge between spirituality and their relationship with money and building a strong financial foundation.


[00:35:59] You can [00:36:00] find me on Facebook. I have a Facebook group called Ember Divine Feminine Finance at the moment , I am focusing primarily on women, , in my community. If you are a man and you hear any of what we said today and you feel like I actually want to know more about that for myself.


[00:36:18] I’m happy to have a conversation with you and see how I can support you as well with this.


[00:36:33] My dear listener, you just like Alyssa can learn to find the answers within your own body so that your inner good girl allows you to have success and overcome your fear of judgment so that you can create a coaching relationship full of trust so that you can Create simple and sustainable, consistent 5k months that you can scale from inside of body based business.


[00:36:56] When you are working with me, the first step to do so is to 


[00:37:00] book your embodied sales call, where we are going to craft a four step process towards creating those sustainable 5k months. Through your own body based blueprint at the end of that call, we’re going to determine whether or not body based business, body based business is the best next investment to create a year that is more regulated and more profitable.


[00:37:23] You’ll find a link to do so down below.

[00:37:25]

[00:37:28]

 

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Embodied Entrepreneur: Anxiety-Free & Profitable Business By Healing Trauma With The Nervous System By Sheridan Ruth Dec 18, 2023

Shame Is The Greatest Trap Of Easeful Entrepreneurship – Nervous System and Trauma Healing for Profitable Business

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Shame makes business slow, less profitable and HEAVY. Until today. Today is step 1 in your journey towards more clarity, ease and intuition in business.

You’re going to walk away from this episode clear on 

  • The physical manifestation of shame you must know to bring more energy into your body, clarity to mind and profit to business 

  • The little known way shame impacts your day to day actions in business, and how it’s related to all our not-so-helpful habits such as procrastination 

  • How to know if it’s worth your time and energy to focus on shame healing this year 

 

Next Steps: 

  1. Hit subscribe and make sure you’re notified when next week’s episode on Exactly how to f*ck up shame healing  in business goes live. 

  2. Listen to How The Freeze (and Fawn) Response Sabotages Profitable Business – Poly Vagal Theory Poly Vagal Theory & Stress Relief Training https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/wTHXBtgfyGb 

 
 
TRANSCRIPT:
 
[00:00:00] Insidious, pervasive, and one of the most harmful things in our society today. Shame. Shame makes your business slow, less profitable, and heavy until we start changing it, which is exactly what you’re going to do today.
 
[00:00:20] Today is step one of your journey towards more clarity, ease, and intuition. In business as well as more profitability, you’re going to walk away from this episode, very clear on the physical manifestation of shame that you need to know in order to bring more energy into your body, clarity into your mind and profit into your business.
 
[00:00:49] The little known way that shame impacts your day to day actions in business and how it was all related to our not so helpful habits, such as procrastination. And how to know [00:01:00] if it’s actually worth your time and energy to focus on shame healing this year.
 
[00:01:05] Sometimes we think of shame as a primary emotion and in the nervous system state, what that provokes is a state of freeze. Now, if you go back and listen to the four part series that I did starting from episode 39 up until, I guess, that’s what 43.
 
[00:01:21] If you go back and listen to the last one, 43, um, we talk about the different nervous system states, but essentially quick 15 second recap when your nervous system. Perceives something as being dangerous to put you into a stress response. It’s trying to protect you. One of those stress responses is a mobilization.
 
[00:01:42] And so we commonly know it as a state of freeze. So your body kind of freezes and it’s like thinks, well, the best way I can get out of this threat is by just like freezing, blocking up, like being immobile, kind of playing dead. Right? So Shame is this primary emotion. [00:02:00] Every single human being can experience shame and it provokes inside of us a nervous system response state of freed, freeze.
 
[00:02:10] What it does is it creates this embodied, , experience, , and accompanied with a belief of something is wrong. With me, something is wrong with me. And that’s actually why we have shame. We were given, I guess, shame through our socialization process as human beings, because it. It stops us from doing things that are not supportive to society and things that we could be kind of kicked out of the tribe for.
 
[00:02:40] But we’ve, we’ve become very complex beings with complex tribes. , and our nervous system just hasn’t really caught up totally yet. And our shame response hasn’t caught up either. So. It begins to kind of leak out into different, um, activities and it kind of, it becomes insidious, 
[00:03:00] right? It leaks out and it’s very harmful because it stops us from doing things that are actually going to be very supportive to us and help us be flourishing, contributing members of society that are happy and healthy.
 
[00:03:12] It does this by putting the body into a free state and lowering our ability to think and act clearly. We’re going to go deeper into this in a moment, we’re going to look at the physical, mental and emotional and then business oriented ways that this happens. But first of all, I want to, , 
I want to, I want to touch on the fact that shame is something that we.
 
[00:03:34] Naturally want to stay very far away from our nervous system perceives it as one of the most displeasing Emotional states either within ourselves or within another person Shame is something that you may not even want to be look It might be a stretch for you to actually listen to this podcast because your body might be saying Oh what?
 
[00:03:56] Maybe you’ve had it sitting in your saved episodes for a few 
 
[00:04:00] weeks and you haven’t gotten to it yet. But here you are, congratulations, like really genuinely honour yourself because you’re here and you’re doing something that most people, um, don’t do. And You should, yeah, you’re having a lot of courage in this moment, but shame is something that we want to stay far away from and our clients want to stay far away from it.
 
[00:04:21] Next week I’m going to do a podcast. It’ll be number 78 on how shame repels our clients, but I’m mentioning it this moment because I want you to know from the beginning that it’s going to be natural if you find yourself Wanting to move away from this topic and that’s okay. Use your tools to come back slowly moving forward.
 
[00:04:44] Um, it’s a natural response and the more that we can move closer to this topic, the more that one, we actually remove shame around a lot of what we do and two, we. I have less shame about that. And we kind of take more control and regain that clarity, regain embodiment, 
 
[00:05:00] regain profit, we gain, , emotional health, regain physical health.
 
[00:05:04] So let’s look at the physical start, , side of things. As I said, we’re going to look at physical, mental, and emotional, and then business and the ways that shame will affect you so that you can start kind of self diagnosing as much as you can from a podcast, , and just seeing. Oh. Is it possible that I’m experiencing X thing and could shame actually be, um, could healing my, could healing my shame alleviate some of these more difficult symptoms?
 
[00:05:36] Let’s have a look. Shame manifests physically, somatically in the body in a couple of different ways. And there are This is a new area of research and there are a couple of different, uh, areas, or different studies, I’ll probably try and link one of the ones below that I really like, that talks about how um, You know, [00:06:00] the differences of how, how shame manifests in the body, but essentially it often appears as physical pain, pain that cannot be explained or treated, a hormonal imbalance, a disconnection from your intuition, particularly when it becomes to your own wellbeing.
 
[00:06:24] Or food. Brain fog and lightheadedness. Autoimmune conditions. You guys know I have alopecia areata, it’s an autoimmune hair loss and throughout my experiencing understanding shame and uh, like living with this and looking at different treatments and things, it has become pretty clear, at least for me, and this is not going to be for everyone, that there is an element of shame that possibly created, um, my Uh, immune flare up and led to my hair loss,
 
[00:07:00] heart palpitations, a chronic health health issue that is exacerbated or triggered by stress.
 
[00:07:08] Also hair loss, chronic fatigue, chronically stiff neck or back, particularly in the back of your heart area. Or around your jaw, constipation or diarrhea, even after making dietary changes. So a lot of people who are experiencing or suffering, um, with IBS, another physical way. And this is also mental and emotional, but I’ve taken it as physical is like being hyper aware of your body, being hyper aware of yourself.
 
[00:07:38] Do you ever have moments where you just hyper aware of the way that you’re sitting or the way that your hands are or your face or the way that you look? We then kind of swing back the other way and we go feeling really numb and disconnected. Some of my clients have described this as looking at yourself through a glass.
 
[00:07:57] I know when I was experiencing the, [00:08:00] the larger parts of my chronic post traumatic stress disorder, it was kind of like, I felt like I was witnessing myself walking instead of me being the one that was walking. It’s like you’re looking at yourself through a window in a way and you feel kind of numb and you feel like you’re not really there.
 
[00:08:18] Like this dissociation from yourself or like you can observe your thoughts and you know they’re yours, but you don’t really feel connected to them. And everything feels kind of foggy and you know, like, and you have that sometimes migraines would be associated, like everything feels foggy. Um, sometimes it feels almost like a big cloak or uniform that you can’t get out of.
 
[00:08:42] I’ve had clients describe it to me as like a big cloak that you just can’t really get out of. And I felt it in my body, almost like a zipper up uniform of like, but it’s, it doesn’t fit right. You know? Um. physically and this manifests a lot of kind of like putting your head down, [00:09:00] pulling your shoulders in, chest kind of pulls back.
 
[00:09:02] You kind of hunch a little bit. You might notice yourself like putting your, your, your gaze down. And these injuries just be small little things. Like maybe you’re looking at the ground a little bit more. , then another person and they’re very small. Maybe you notice that your shoulders kind of mine roll forward just a little bit.
 
[00:09:18] And I know that that’s shame because I know that more than I heal shame, my shoulders just like roll back a little bit. Um, and so, you know, like rolling, rolling those shoulders forward a little bit, or I’m trying to make yourself small, um, like by pulling your waist in perhaps even, um, Feeling quite stiff in your movements, or for some people that also manifest, we can go two ways.
 
[00:09:47] It can be very quick, rapid movement. Like if I move quickly, then I won’t be noticed. For some people, they’re a little bit slower. It’s like their body is fully taken down by shame. They just like kind of trudge on through, you know, [00:10:00] um, and sometimes it’s hiding face. So for some of my clients, this will manifest in business as literally wanting to not have your face.
 
[00:10:08] Uh, And this isn’t always, but a lot of the time, literally not wanting to have your face on your, um, business. And for other people, it’s kind of like they put their hands over their face or, um, they’d like to wear big glasses or they have a lot of hair in their face. Right. Whenever you’re hiding yourself.
 
[00:10:25] Mental and emotionally, the way that shame might manifest for you. It’s this essence of like, there’s heaviness. You’re slow. You doubt yourself. There’s a feeling of hopelessness. I can’t do this. I’ll never make it. I also see this a lot manifest as I need to fix something about either the process, the method that I’m using or myself.
 
[00:10:48] People who experience a lot of shame get stuck in a self development. We are constantly trying to fix something about myself, myself, ourselves.
 
[00:11:00] I do this. I’ve done this. Um, healing has made me not want to do it. And it’s been really great, but I’ve definitely been there. It’s like we’re constantly trying to fix something.
 
[00:11:10] We’re always in this self discovery. We’re always having a revelation. We’re all kind of like going forward. Um, There’s always something to fix. There’s always something to learn. There’s always like, you guys know what I’m talking about. And at the same time, um, it’s just, shame is very self oriented. Um, we it’s thinking more about you than it is about connecting with other people.
 
[00:11:35] So. We’ll skip forward a little bit, but in business that looks like thinking more about yourself and your revelations and your development and what you’re doing, what you’re not doing, being hyper aware of yourself, then being oriented towards how can I serve, how can I help and how can I solve other people’s problems?
 
[00:11:54] Entrepreneurship is about solving problems for profit in a way that supports you and
 
[00:12:00] supports embodied entrepreneurship is about. I’m supporting a society, right? So it’s like, I’m more focused on me than I am focused on. How can I solve other people’s problems? This manifests as being a perfectionist for some people.
 
[00:12:14] It’s going to manifest as, and I’m sorry, you might hate me for it, but some narcissistic qualities. This also manifests as self sabotaging manifest as worrying. Manifest as people pleasing manifest as having social anxiety and manifest as having anxiety or depression. Let’s look at some very specific scenarios.
 
[00:12:35] Let’s bring it into business. If you remember what I said earlier, I mentioned two different components, the freeze state and then the inability to think and act clearly. Let’s focus on the nervous system freeze state. The nervous system freeze state is your body’s inability to move or act against the threat.
 
[00:12:54] Then within that, we have a couple of different things that I. In 
 
[00:13:00] episode, I guess it’s 43, we’ll, we’ll go into that a little bit more, but I’m just going to read out some of the, uh, traits that I, I literally just like went on Instagram and like made a list of things that I’ve seen. And I read some of the emails and DMs that you had sent me and made a list.
 
[00:13:16] So this might be a little bit out of order, but it’s the list that I have today. So let’s have a look. Oh, let me take a sip of my coffee.
 
[00:13:32] Okay. So basically, in essence, we go into this nervous system freeze state because our body perceives that the business is actually the threat. The action, the boldness, the clarity, and the connection with other people, um, provokes a stress response inside of us, which in this case. Latches on to shame and shame latches on to you.
 
[00:13:54] Essentially we avoid work that we don’t perceive as safe or as hard to do. We struggle
 
[00:14:00] connecting with people from a relaxed, confident, and heart centered way. And we tend to have burnout, lack of creativity and lack of clients. Even if you do have clients at the moment and you’re bringing shame to it, it’s maybe 30 percent of what you could.
 
[00:14:14] So as I mentioned before, you might notice that you are in a freeze response if you notice yourself feeling like you have to consistently fix something. about yourself, you might notice that shame is affecting you and pulling you into this freeze response. If you, if you’re doubting yourself, if you’re just kind of stuck and you’re like, Oh, you know, I’ve been meaning to make this decision about what’s my offer or how am I marketing this thing?
 
[00:14:38] Or what’s the messaging that I want to have? Uh, but you can’t make a decision easily like you’ve been thinking about it for a long time and you’re kind of going, okay, well, should I say this? So maybe money should be that. It also appears in blaming, blaming the economy, blaming your health, blaming your partner, blaming your industry, blaming your coach.
 
[00:14:58] These are manifestations of shame. [00:15:00] We’re actually trying to deflect shame by blaming, they co exist. It’s also in low self esteem, and this might, there are some things that people do that show low self esteem, and I say this with love guys, and I’ve done it too, I, trust me I’ve done it, that show low self esteem, and some of these things are like, hey, you can sign up for my, for my email.
 
[00:15:24] But you can unsubscribe whenever you want. I won’t send you too many emails. This is a sign that we’re operating from the shame body. You might also have your pricing and your contracts all over place. You might be somebody who tends to what people pleasing. You might be trying to make content that people will like rather.
 
[00:15:43] Then what you want to say and feel excited to express you might, , dissociate or get really numb when you’re reading your feedback or you don’t want to ask for a testimonial because you’re scared of what they might say. You might have difficulty being coached. It might be hard for you to actually receive [00:16:00] guidance from a coach because you just kind of like freeze.
 
[00:16:02] You’re like, Oh, what? A lot of the time we say what we think people want to hear. You might have a lot of thoughts that begin with, I can’t, I can’t do that. I can’t do that. I can’t do that. I could never, I can’t. This inner critic and perfectionist part of you, there’s a lot of fear that comes up. Um, people have said to me as well, I’m reading now from things people have said to me recently, um, fear around what people will think leading to inaction, leading to not feeling present into my body, feeling like I have dizziness, um, feeling like every time I take another step of showing myself and expressing my voice and work, it feels dangerous and I want to pull back and I want to escape to the beach for three weeks.
 
[00:16:45] Feeling like. I’m stuck feeling like it isn’t working and. Then also, yeah, wanting to stop after I gain momentum. If I get too much traction in one area, I begin to feel antsy and start pulling back [00:17:00] to quote unquote regroup and figure out what to do next. This is a sign of shame. Instead of doing something, I retreat and do nothing.
 
[00:17:08] See how there’s like a lot of retreat and like avoiding? Watching a lot of Netflix and taking a pretty long time to do things like read an email from last Tuesday and send a response, taking a long time to send an invoice, or when somebody asked for an invoice, getting brain fog and not including everything that was on that invoice, or like a lot of confusion and hopelessness, getting confused about what to say in your messaging, getting confused about how to structure your launch plan, um, getting, looking at your, like a lot of Brain focus.
 
[00:17:39] Well, I noticed there’s a really common one appearing in a lot of my clients or people and listeners. I’ve heard you guys say so another one, um, would be attracting codependent coaching relationships. And what I really mean like by this is feeling that your worth is dependent on the success of your clients.
 
[00:17:58] Now it is [00:18:00] important that we understand that we are all going to be good at our jobs and we are going to make sure that people get the results that they desire. Um, And that we promise in our programs. I’m not talking about that. What I’m talking about is us having like feeling dependent, like your worth depends on how good your product is.
 
[00:18:22] There is a difference between asking. Is this product, is my work the absolute best that it can be and have I, have I delivered on what I said I would deliver versus, those are good questions to ask. We always, I ask these, I literally ask myself those questions every single day. Good questions to ask.
 
[00:18:45] Versus the question of can I make this work be as good as it can be? Am I good enough? Am I smart enough? Am I, do I have enough willpower? Do I X, Y, Z enough? Am I, am I, am I, you know, have I 
 
[00:19:00] perfected my morning routine enough for this work to be the best that it can be? Kind of like, that’s different, right?
 
[00:19:08] It’s different when it’s about have, how can this work be the best? Versus can I make this the best? Is there something wrong with me? Cause it looks easier for her and hers is better than mine. That’s different. So those are the mental and emotional things. And it kind of pulls into our second part, which is that shame lowers your ability to think and act clearly.
 
[00:19:32] And I would even add onto that with intuition, some of the best entrepreneurs in the entire world. rely on their intuition. Intuition is like a, it’s like a tap into this infinite abundance of information that our logical mind can’t comprehend, but that we know is there. And it’s, it’s just extra information.
 
[00:19:53] That’s, it’s like this little secrets, like secrets the world has that we just don’t have yet. When we take [00:20:00] in, um, when we think. Clearly. And we act clearly and we are in touch with our intuition. That’s when magic literally happens. That’s when things are so easy. That’s when you make more money. Um, that’s when you like, it just, Oh, everything just flows.
 
[00:20:15] It’s just so juicy. You guys don’t want to talk. I hope, tell me if you don’t know what I’m talking about. I want you to know what I’m talking about. That’s why we’re here, right? So because your body is in a stress state, energy is going to the behaviors that it thinks is going to help you perfectionism.
 
[00:20:31] Worrying about yourself, thinking about yourself, fixing yourself, blaming other people, um, hiding, eating food, watching Netflix, doing a lot of energy is going to those things, which means that energy is not going to your capacity to share creatively, to stand out, to do your best work, to connect with your intuition, um, to find more ease, to find more pleasure, to feel safer.
 
[00:20:57] And. So energy is going to these [00:21:00] actions that keep you where you are because your body thinks because it’s scared and it’s in a free state, it thinks that staying where you are as still as you can and as small as you can is going to keep you safe. Your energy is going to that right now. It’s not going to, how can I send out more?
 
[00:21:19] How can I be more effective? How can I be more creative? How can I make this easier? How can this be more profitable? How can I serve more? Those latter questions are what make business, like that’s, that’s how you, that’s how you make a business that supports you. That’s how you become successful in entrepreneurship in that you’re.
 
[00:21:40] business is making a profit that increases every month is consistent and is sustainable. So tangibly, some of the ways that I’ve seen this in the past couple of weeks is you might be asking yourself something along the lines of, I don’t want to [00:22:00] be in the coaching industry, but I’m not really sure what I want my product to be.
 
[00:22:03] But like I could do coaching, but I don’t, I’m not really sure what I want to niche or what the product might be. Because I don’t really know. I’m not really sure. I kind of like this thing, but I kind of like this other thing and like, how would I bring them all together? Shame takes us into inaction or hopelessness or both and finding a solution can take literally months and some of you, it’s going to have to take, it’s going to be a year process thing at the, at this point.
 
[00:22:33] So. When we bring and we look at it from a place of regulation or a place without shame, shamelessness, what we have is, oh, okay, so I don’t want to do coaching. I’ve got this product. I’ve got this experience. Cool. Let’s look at all that. Big picture view. Amazing. Cool. Awesome. Yep. Okay. Now we can do this thing.
 
[00:22:54] Here’s a solution because you access this analytical and creative thinking. And you develop this [00:23:00] really cool, really amazing product that the industry has never seen before and you are now a pioneer, and everyone wants to work with you. Good work! Yay! Another one that comes up is, is like, you know, I don’t know, like you’re trying to get your reels perfect or figure out the correct Schedule, um, or maybe you’re not posting at all.
 
[00:23:18] And so shame often takes you into hopelessness and confusion. And it’s like, Oh, is this the exact spell sheet? And like, is this the right hook? Can I need to do another course? And have I used the right thing? And I’m getting really frustrated now because the text doesn’t align and I don’t know what photo I want to use.
 
[00:23:32] And maybe I should get an assistant regulation. Shamelessness creates a solution in a few minutes because you access analytical and creative thinking. So you kind of say, all right, cool. Here’s what I don’t want to do. Here’s what I do want to do. Here are the tools that I have. Hmm. I’m going to use my notes app.
 
[00:23:49] I’m going to make it, , I’m not going to use this other app. I’m going to use this app. I’m going to make it really fun. Oh, maybe I need, I do need support. So I’m going to join a membership of something, or 
 
[00:24:00] I’m just going to ask my coach to something that I’ve. So I will love to do with my clients is like, they’ll make something and they’re like, no, I really do need a little bit of creative feedback on this.
 
[00:24:09] So, so I’ll give it, they’ll give it to me and I’ll, I’ll have a look at their content and provide some feedback. And so they’re like, okay, cool. And now we’re moving forward. We have some feedback. Maybe we make it funny. Maybe we, um, instead of trying to follow all of the copywriting rules, maybe we just speak to somebody, like they were literally in front of us.
 
[00:24:29] and It just gets to be yours and you just, and you create it and because it comes from you so easily, not only is it more sustainable, but people feel that and they resonate with it. It, you, we talk so much online about like being authentic, well, being authentic isn’t trying to manipulate authenticity and post videos of you crying on the internet because apparently it’s authentic.
 
[00:24:55] It’s actually being authentic. It’s actually sharing what you think in the moments that you think it. [00:25:00] That’s what it is. In the ways you think it, for some of you, that’s gonna be making really aesthetic things, and for some of you, it’s, it’s not gonna be making aesthetic things and that’s the correct way to do it.
 
[00:25:10] So in essence, being in being an embodied entrepreneur and being in business, when you are not operating from shame, when your shame body is so low at. I would never say that we can completely get rid of it. I’ll do another podcast episode on that. Um, nor would we want to, but when your shame body, maybe we’re at an 80% right now, maybe we can take it down to 13%.
 
[00:25:37] When your shame body’s operating at, you know, eight or 13%, what you are experiencing is so much more clarity, so much more focus, so much more resilience. You’re way more productive. You can actually do that four hour work week. Um. You can manage the stress and uncertainty of being entrepreneur, of having inconsistent income, of, a guy asked me yesterday, he’s like, Oh, [00:26:00] don’t you ever get worried about, about clients coming?
 
[00:26:02] And I was like, no, I know they’re going to come. They’re always coming. You can be, you can have that approach. I was like, yeah, I know it’s coming. It’s always coming. You can make decisions with discernment. You can maintain healthy coaching relationships, um, or healthy client relationships. You can maintain healthy relationships with your loved ones, with your audience, um, with your service providers, or, like, you know, your accountant, your bookkeeper, your, like, who else?
 
[00:26:29] Like, your assistant, right? You have positive emotions 80 percent of the time. You feel really at ease in your emotions 80 percent of the time, you smile more than you frown. You have an inner vitality and energy inside. You have physical energy. You look forward to going and moving your body. You’re creative.
 
[00:26:48] Everything is a, Oh, what’s next? Oh, how fun. Oh, let’s go. It’s this energy of feeling like you can take on the world and that you are fully supported. And it doesn’t mean, of course, you’re going to have some setbacks every now and again. We all do, [00:27:00] but you’re good. You’re happy. You’re excited. People gravitate to you.
 
[00:27:04] You’re solution oriented. Physically, you, your pain is not, there is very little pain in your life and the pain that is there, there’s a clear connection with what causes this and how do I fix it? You have better sex, you have good intimacy, sailors are just conversations. Sales are so easy. Sales are just like talking with old friends.
 
[00:27:28] It’s like there’s no charge around money. Marketing is, you know, something that you show up for, you do the task, you move on, you make it fun. Like it’s just easy. Everything is also quite a lot more intuitive and you can make decisions with Quickly, without second guessing yourself and everything happens, everything happens quickly because we’re, we’re now entering into that flow state.
 
[00:27:51] Um, and we’re more action oriented and we’re more solution oriented. So we provide better solutions to other people. They pay us more money for it and we [00:28:00] move quickly. You get to become a leader, you get to become a pioneer. You get to move quickly, you get to be astounded. Things come to you more quick.
 
[00:28:10] That my biggest theme over this past six months is just allowing it to be easy because I’ve wanted something and then like, it just happens and I’m like, okay, wow. How did this happen so quickly and so easily? This is insane. Um, and it’s, no, it’s no surprise that, you know, 12 months ago. 12 months before all of this was happening, I was doing a lot of really deep shame work.
 
[00:28:32] It’s no surprise. It is a direct result. So doesn’t that sound fun? Aren’t you here for that? I hope you are. We’re going to be diving into the topic of shame, um, in its different manifestations and how to heal it over this next couple of coming weeks. I have some really, I have really awesome. , offerings coming out, uh, yeah, let’s, let’s talk about it with something called shameless sales, which is going to be a group program and an online event
 
[00:29:00] called unapologetic offer creation, which you are going to want to hear more about.
 
[00:29:03] I’m working on that at the moment. What I’m going to invite you to work on is coming into. Check in on Thursday when we have the next episode come out, we’re going to look at the biggest way that people fuck up shame healing.
 
[00:29:18] And I’m saying that word and I mean with a big F and it’s a harsh word because it is a problem it hurts people. And I would like us to stop it. We’re going to look at how to heal shame and what not to do on Thursday . I love you. Thank you for this thing.
 
[00:29:33] Speak soon.