183: Why “You Can Have Anything You Want” Is Misleading: How Burnout and Somatics Are the Missing Keys to Manifestation

bias to get you to buy programs and invest. And then there are truths

around real spiritual and somatic laws that are at play every single day in

your life and your success. By the end of this episode, you will walk

away with clarity on what those myths are and how to leverage the laws

of your life and your body so that you can have the success that you

want.

Also how to prevent burnout and use somatic awareness to shape your

capacity to achieve your goals. And one clear step you can take away to

build success that honors both your nervous system and your authentic

society and economy that you do.

If you stay till the end, you will learn how my client, Rebecca, who is a

small business owner in education e commerce area, learn to make her

work and her long term relationship feel really flowy and laid back and

feminine when things were feeling heady and struggling and just hard. If

you cannot wait to the end, the main point of this entire episode is that

traditional manifestation advice often ignores the realities of your body

and your nervous system, your psychology and your specific economic

environment and the limitations that you have in time and energy.

By aligning your goals with your authentic capacity, instead of criticizing

yourself or trying to fix things inside you can use, and instead of kind of

yeah, fixing And aligning them also with somatic practices, you create

sustainable success and a sense of fulfillment, and you can do your

I'll give examples and I'll elaborate, and then I'll invite you to Somanifest,

which is a 90 minute workshop where you will uncover your very own

body based map that will give you real tangible steps and practices to

be magical.

It will be better than you expect, and we have to structure it around the

current limitations and things that are hard for you. So if you've been

exposed to a lot of the personal development space, there's all of these

manifestation coaches out there saying things like you can have

anything that you want.

And I'll be honest, a lot of this series comes because I was looking at a

coach who teaches similar work to me and on her sales page, she

wrote, join this 2, 000 program and manifest anything that you want.

And. I'm sorry, but it's just not that, that, that no, I study psychology and

I'm a trauma therapist, and I'm very interested in the difference between,

this new age stuff that doesn't work and actually is quite harmful and the

reality of things while living space for the magical.

So, And the magical and the spiritual and the God centered, right? So

we have these, uh, sentences like you can have anything that you want,

or if you provide enough transformation impact in somebody's life, then

you will be compensated well. Or if you feel safe enough with money,

then you'll have more, or if you value yourself enough, then you'll have

more money.

Or the only thing that's standing between you and your dreams is your

mindset and your yes. So many of these things actually do, do P they do

a disservice to people like you and I, they do a disservice to so many

people. Yes, they can be empowering in one moment, but they do a

disservice because it just isn't true that we can have absolutely anything

that we want.

value because I'm sorry to say this, but the world doesn't revolve around

you. The world is an interplay of so many different systems. We have

economics. We have structure. We have society. We have relationships.

We have your nervous system, other people's nervous system.

We have the market. We have astrology. We have, um, political. There's

so many different things at play environmental. So you're made to be in

the middle of all of that and feel fulfilled and feel happy. So. Maybe you

experience the limitations of your unique reality in different ways. You

might experience it through something such as you really struggle to

focus because your met brain runs a million miles an hour and you

struggle to have attention to detail and you struggle to be productive and

battle or saying focus is really hard.

Or maybe you are just tired all of the time. You are fatigued and staying

on top of things, client calls, emails, groceries can leave you drained for

days and you really wish and hope that you could just have a calendar

that doesn't have any commitments to anybody at all. Or maybe you are

balancing the interplay between feeling pressure to meet your family or

your culture's expectations of you, or maybe your responsibilities to

them, while also trying to build a business that aligns with what your

body needs to thrive and aligns with your values and feels like it's you

doing your work in the world.

And when we ignore these realities and instead try to focus on being

safe or valuing yourself or providing transformation or visualizing or

like hustle. It feels like force and it makes you feel like you're constantly

falling short in some way that there's something off.

So maybe you, That manifests for you externally, such as you

overcommit to projects and then you feel overwhelmed even before you

start and things fall between the cracks. Or maybe you go into a freeze

response and you just kind of like. Clam up and you feel really heavy

and down and out when you have these big decisions to make.

So you don't really make anything, but make any decisions and you

second guess yourself. And then you delay action and then things don't

go how you want them to because you haven't done anything. You

haven't made difficult decisions. And so then you doubt yourself more

and then you put everything off until it feels perfect.

And it's just not quite right. And you know what I'm talking about.

Because you've been there. Or maybe you get so burnt out because

perfectly, or you're so focused on doing everything that you think that

you should do, that there's no space to even understand what it is that

you want, let alone have the confidence to act on it.

Here's the beautiful part. None of that is a problem. These are not

limitations. These are not roadblocks. These are structures. These are a

framework that you can play with. And when you learn to do that, then

you unlock those things that you want. You learn how to work with your

body and your nervous system.

This is what I will teach you inside of the academy. So that Instead of

beating yourself up when you are exhausted or trying to plan your day

perfectly so that you don't get exhausted, you feel rest in your body and

you find recovery and you show up to work when you're ready with

that bone deep softness and relaxation.

So you wake up in the morning, you don't need coffee, you don't need

anything else. You're just here ready to go. And instead of spiraling into

self doubt, when something feels overwhelming, you have somatic tools

that you can use in an instant to be agile in your nervous system, to

calm your body, to focus on one step at a time and build confidence as

you go so that you have that feeling like the one that you get right after a

good workout or a long walk, where you feel like you've accomplished

something and you're a happy, tired, a happy, tired, not exhausted, just

that happy.

Oh, what I did today was really awesome. That's what we want for you.

But I have energy, excess energy to go and make dinner and hang out

with my friends and do that music project that I was thinking of. There's

an abundance of energy. Or maybe for you, it's going to look like instead

you reconnect to what you want.

You use your body to do that. Then you align your vision with what you

want. And you also acknowledge the parts of you that want to do

something that is aligned with your culture's values, that wants to be

responsible to your family. So maybe that means you have a lower risk

and you take on one thing or you prioritize a certain type of product

because it gives you more time freedom or a different type of slower

growth because it gives you, um, yeah.

Kind of like more, uh, you know, we don't go all in really fast. We go

slower and softer. Maybe you immediately hire somebody because you

need more time freedom. Uh, and you're really strategic about that. And

when we focus on developing you as a leader and as a boss, instead of

developing you as somebody who can make the perfect Instagram reel

What we talk about here is the difference between Getting stuck in the

emotion and the dysregulation and instead identifying what the problem

is and moving forward with it. That's the way that we grow your capacity.

When you have an increased capacity, you can create more things.

When you grow your capacity by working with your nervous system, you

stop wasting energy about fighting against what is, such as The

limitations of your economy, such as what people deem to be worthy,

what people want to spend money on, such as the fact that sometimes

deep down inside you don't feel that you're good enough, such as the

fact that you have an insecurity around, um, if whether or not you're

smart enough or such as the fact that you're a people pleaser, or you

have been in the past, or such as the fact that you don't want to work

more than a couple of days a week.

what you will learn to do inside of So Manifest. To bridge the gap

between what you desire and your capacity to create it. So that you can

work with your body, with everything that you have. You don't need

anything more to create and feel in this moment the life and business

that you've been dreaming of.

We begin in four days. If you can't, if you're too late, you're listening to

this later, you will get a recording, but in so manifest, we will spend 19

minutes. Busting all of these common manifestation myths and

transmuting them into something that works for you, something that you

can feel in your body, a body based map and blueprint that will help you

take what is intangible, your vision, and take it tangible out in the world.

You will be able to recognize when your desires are fear driven and

therefore going to bring you more pain and harm than good. Reconnect

with your body to uncover your authentic desires, to set goals that are

fulfilling. Instead of shoulds or lack, you're going to get out of all of your

problems that you're looping in at the moment.

And you're going to align your desires with your current capacity to

create fulfillment and success without burnout, without spiritual

bypassing, without toxic positivity. My love, it is time to stop fighting

yourself. It is time to stop chasing external validation with the goals that

you set. And instead it is time to experience fulfillment and success that

doesn't sacrifice your wellbeing, that actually contributes to more of it.

Join us inside of some manifest live on Sunday recording available. If

you missed it information down below,

now we're going to transition to a story that I posted on Instagram. If

Sheridan, Ruth underscore. Go follow me. Send me a message. Say hi.

Make a recommendation for what you want to hear on the podcast and

we're covering Rebecca and she was up in her head and now she's in

her body.

She's having more sex and she's happy in her business. Let's see how

she did it.

Sheridan: So much of the reason why it feels like you're never reaching

your desires is because you are jumping into your mind to strategize and

plan and figure out how to make the thing happen too quickly. When

what you need to be doing is spending more time in the link you to linger

in the desire, because that's when your somatic intelligence comes on

board and it gives you the plan and the thinking, but it's better than the

one that comes from Your, your cognitive, all of your mental processing.

My client, Rebecca, is a very good example of how slowing down and

lingering in that desire gives you the information that you need to get

like loss. She is a small business owner, she's also in a relationship and

she likes to feel flowy and open in her relationship, feminine and laid

back.

She likes to live the same way inside of her business. And she was

focusing so much on thinking and planning and doing that she noticed

that it was creating tension and friction with her partner. And it was also

creating, um, this feeling of like work was really hard. And what we did

was we practiced just pausing for you plan when you know that you want

something before you plan for it.

Can you just feel it in the body and just like relish in it and walk around

loving that desire and being inside of it so beautifully until naturally the

next step comes. What does it feel like in your belly, in your pelvic floor,

in your shoulders to say, oh, I really, really, really want a beautiful next

juiciness in that desire. What does it feel like when you're with your

partner to say, Oh, like, I really want you to take me on a picnic on the

weekend.

And I just, there's a, there's a deliciousness in that desire when we don't

jump to fix it. A regulated nervous system is more comfortable with that,

but it's still a practice and a skill. When you sit there, you actually kind of

allow solutions to come forward and you allow somebody to be the hero

of it.

Your partner gets to be the hero, takes you out on the picnic and the

person that you're networking with and you just, Oh, I'm so excited. I

can't wait for this person. You share your content from that. You have

conversations from that space and other people can come in and help

you and support you with, Oh, I know just the person for you.

I know just the picnic spot. Rebecca tried this for three weeks in between

two of our calls and she came back. She wanted to have more clients.

She came back and she was like, I've just created, started working with

education thing, the best schools. And they have all of these Montessori

things, all of the things that she wanted.

And she started having more connection with her partner. They started

having more sex. They connected at dinner time. And there was less like

less of that grading, less of that friction. They started feeling like a team.

It was juicy. It was fun. If Rebecca can do it, I can do it. You can do it.

Can you linger a little bit more on that?

What does that taste like? What does that feel like in your body? This is

the embodiment of how you take what you want and align up with

everything and everyone in the universe that wants you to have what

you want because it's special and you need it and it's valuable and it

supports them and helps you get it. This is the embodiment of what

manifestation is, how to get more of what you want.

And this is how we do it without denying our structural limitations like

delusional and like Always trying to bypass or have toxic positivity. This

is a trauma informed, emotionally intelligent and somatic way to make it

really proud of who you are.

You've achieved, not probably not all of your goals if you're really like a

high achieving perfectionist like myself, 99 percent of them. This is what

we're going to be doing inside of So Manifest.