You’re feeling exhausted and unclear – but it isn’t your fault.
Today’s episode will teach you:
- The common mistake keeping you feeling stuck where you are
- How to differentiate between fear-based urgency and genuine yearning
- How to gain clarity on identifying your true desires amidst societal expectations and past conditioning
Your next steps:
Step 1) Recommended episode:
By the end of this episode you will know:
- The trauma informed nervous system perspective understanding of why we end up engaging in support out of ‘fixing ourselves’ or shame.
- How to know if you ‘should invest in support – or go about things yourself’.
- What you MUST know about your nervous system when deciding to receive support for success, improved leadership and effectiveness as an entrepreneur
- The 3 step process to body-based decision making to move towards your desires without gaslighting yourself.
Step 2) Embodied Sales Call
Now, depending on whether you are cultivating your first 5k months or leading your established company into new ventures we will use the (trademark pending) 3 BBB pillars – Regulation, Trauma Healing. Just like your body, your plan will be unique to YOU. However, you can guarantee that you will go from anxious, self-critical and feeling stuck – to feeling on track, increasing your income and doubling down on your ease.
.
Your next step is to apply for BBB by booking your Embodied Sales call where we will use an embodiment process to build your 4 step process to increased income & ease through your Body Based Business.
Book Embodied Sales Call by clicking here
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Sheridan: If I said this in a room of coaches, I would be immediately canceled if you are considering investing in some level of support, whether that be a therapist or a coach or some type of sales specialist or copywriter or something, , you might be making a really common mistake of wanting what you think you want and then doing things that aren’t that.
[00:00:38] And I’m going to dive into this a little bit more in today’s episode. By the end of the episode, you will know the common mistake that keeps you feeling stuck where you are, no matter what you do, you’re going to learn uncommon advice that would literally break up the coaching industry. There we go. And the one most important step to take to use this advice, A lot of [00:01:00] what happens when we were engaging in this coaching world or in this business world or in this entrepreneurship, whether that’s online or offline, we’re often kind of pulled in the place where we start thinking that we want something that we don’t actually want and it’s not really your fault. But it is the reason that you are exhausted and unclear and you feel maybe like you’re spinning your wheels. We often grow up thinking that our desire isn’t good enough, particularly if you’ve experienced some type of tension when you were a child or some type of trauma.
[00:01:45] Or some type of, you know, maybe your boyfriend invalidated your desires and ideas. Um, maybe you, you think, or you’ve learned that happiness is a certain amount of money or, um, [00:02:00] happiness is looking a certain way or in order to be respected, you need to achieve X, Y, Z. We have all of this conditioning around it.
[00:02:08] And sometimes we’re also just lost and we don’t really know what to do, what we want. And we end up in a hole where we are led to believe that what we want is one thing because it looks so good and so shiny and so seductive and so yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy. They seem to like it a lot. Um, but sometimes it doesn’t actually align with your desire.
[00:02:28] And a good coach will support you in getting to your true desire, not what they think would be best either for their testimonials or what they think would be best for you or what they think would be best for their bottom line. There are certain coaches who will try to coach or manipulate you into one thing because it is beneficial to them.
[00:02:50] And that’s it. That sucks. That is really hard to see for me, especially as somebody who comes kind of [00:03:00] more from a therapeutic background, I can see the transference that’s occurring and it’s not pleasant. Um, But there is a lot that’s inside of your power. And what you can do is you can begin to understand one is your desire and how to identify it and also reframe how you feel around getting support and what you’re really using that support for.
[00:03:26] So there is a specific, uh,
[00:03:33] Pause, pause, pause, pause, pause. Okay. So there is a specific way that we can use to get in touch with what our true desire is. And this is something that we need regardless of whether or not we have decided to be an entrepreneur forever or We’re never going to do it because our [00:04:00] desire is something that lives inside of us.
[00:04:02] It is something that kind of is born through us and it is a compass or a way to navigate the world. It’s something that is expressed through you that is looking to be create manifest through you, through your body. You become the vessel for that desire. And a lot of us often, Shame that desire. We guilt it.
[00:04:25] We say it’s not enough. We, we try to suppress it, but the truth is that desire is energy moving through you. And that is the thing that is going to give you the energy and the motivation to actually do the things to get to the goal. It’s going to be difficult for you to cultivate in an embodied way, the motivation to move towards something that isn’t a true desire of yours.
[00:04:52] It’s just not going to work because you don’t have the life force energy running through you. And so in order to move towards something that isn’t a true bone [00:05:00] deep desire inside of you, you are going to have to move outside of your body. You are going to have to come into dysregulation. You may achieve the goal, but you’re probably going to do it at the expense of your own integrity.
[00:05:13] Of your values, of your health, perhaps of your fertility, because you’re going outside of yourself and you’re exhausted, you’re gonna end up exhausted. However, when you align with a congruent desire, everything comes with so much more ease. It doesn’t mean there isn’t contention and constriction doesn’t mean that sometimes not hard, but it flows through you.
[00:05:36] effortlessly because you’re navigating forward in a way it is true for you. It makes sense and you can hold yourself through the ebbs and the flows and the ups and the downs because it is the bone, the deep desire that you’re made to express. Some people mistake. intuition for fear or, or like a craving or even a trauma response for true desire.[00:06:00]
[00:06:00] And unfortunately I can’t sit here and tell you, well, this sensation in your belly is, is you moving towards something that’s painful for you because you don’t know what else you can do. But that sensation in your heart is you moving towards your desire. I can give you a little bit of a roadmap and understanding such as I can say, Intuition has no urgency to it.
[00:06:20] Fear always does. Fear is always like, I have to see that person now. I have to get this done now. I have to achieve this in the next three months. Desire is softer. It’s a yearning. There’s a basking. There’s a, Oh, I cannot wait. It’s going to be so good. We want to be in that place. Fear, uh, trauma, pain, and attachment comes always with urgency.
[00:06:43] But I can tell you this in a podcast, but that doesn’t change it when it’s like 10 o’clock at night and you can’t sleep and you need to figure out what to do. You need to start getting really good at understanding and articulating and understanding the different flavors of your sensations and the flavors of your heart [00:07:00] in your body.
[00:07:01] And the tool that I teach my clients to do this, um, is very powerful and very, very simple. And what it does is it helps you get better at experiencing your internal sensations. Unfortunately, The scope of this podcast won’t allow me to teach that tool to you today, just because we’re on a podcast and not on a training call.
[00:07:24] Uh, but what I can ask you to do is to start paying more attention to the different types of sensations that you have in your body and to begin identifying when I am considering working with somebody. Am I, Am I feeling any, any fear and there’s a different, sometimes fear is helpful. Am I feeling any urgency?
[00:07:49] Am I doing what I think I should do or am I doing what I want? Am I doing what I want because what I want is good enough or am I doing what I think that I should do? That’s the question that I [00:08:00] want you to take away. Am I doing what I want because what I want deserves to be taken action on or am I doing what I think that I should do?
[00:08:08] You my love want to do what you want and I want to teach you how to do what you want because you, what you want is the way that you, you stay juicy and full and lit up the rest of your life. And it’s also how people like to give you money. People like it when you do what you want. Don’t forget this.
[00:08:22] People like it when you do what you want. So we need to get really good at feeling on the inside and we need to pay more attention to what we’re feeling on the inside. And we need to learn how to understand when something is shoulds and fears and when something is, Oh, this is my desire and I want to move in.
[00:08:38] And that’s how you get, how you avoid being gas lit. Because when you are so deeply in touch with your feelings and your desire, you, You will understand is this my desire or is this somebody else’s should and I will teach this to you and I don’t have to you can learn it without me you can learn it through other people and
[00:09:00] I am passionate about teaching it so I will teach it and if you want you can reach out to me but I’m not teaching I’m not saying this so that you you work out you end up working with me I’m saying it so that you get in touch with your desire so that you become more of you in the world.
[00:09:16] Hmm. And to help you become more of you in the world, you’re going to need more support. Help is what is needed to do big things, big visions, big changes, big intro, like transformative intergenerational changes only happen with help. So I want you to understand what happens to your nervous system when you have support and what happens when you don’t, what it means to have support.
[00:09:43] And then you can take action. Uh, really loving action to decide is the pot is working with a coach, something that I really, really want in this moment. God, it’s taken me so many years to, to learn this. So when you don’t have [00:10:00] support, um, You will get to your dreams. I have no doubt that you will. I believe in you, but it might be harder and it might take longer because you can’t see certain things or be as creative, not because you suck at it, but just because your nervous system isn’t designed to hold everything that you want alone.
[00:10:19] Contrary to popular Western opinion, um, and culture, we are social beings and we are social systems. And when you’re born with a desire in your heart, it, It is actually larger than you. It is larger than your nervous system. It is an idea. It is an idea. It is an idea and it is not manifest yet. And your nervous system does this thing through neuroception where it starts to feel into the nervous systems of the people around it and When you are in a space with at least one other person, it feels safer when they are a safe person.
[00:10:57] It feels safer. So it gives you [00:11:00] access to different emotions, different insights, different feelings, um, different creation and innovation and things like that. And it makes it easier for you to see patterns in the world that you might want to change. It makes it easier for you to see patterns in yourself, your thinking, your emotions, and your actions that may not be supportive for you.
[00:11:22] And it also makes it easier to feel like if I believe. In my vision and somebody else believes in my vision, the nine now have the confidence to go and do it. You weren’t meant meant to do any of this alone at all. It was never designed to that with social beings. And when your nervous system knows that it has supports, it can soften and it can kind of offload some of the pain that you’re feeling or some of the creation that you’re feeling or some of the ideas that you’re feeling.
[00:11:52] It can kind of delegate that. Those things to the other person’s nervous system, and then it can focus
[00:12:00] on the things that only you can do. Sometimes that’s gonna be healing trauma. Sometimes that’s going to be thinking of ways to revolutionize your industry and be creative. Sometimes that’s going to be, you know, completely changing the way that you do your parenting, because that’s the thing that’s taking up so much energy that’s stopping you from feeling confident in your work.
[00:12:25] Sometimes that’s going to be. Artistry and creation and expression. Now, when you do have support, I want to be clear. It’s not that you necessarily like need it. And that’s, that means that somehow you failed. I noticed a lot of people being like, ah, I don’t really need it. And my question to you is like, okay, cool.
[00:12:46] But like, do you want it? But. Do you want to, does it make your life easier? Does it make you a better human being? Does it make you better at loving people, better at loving your creation? Does it make you more confident? Does it make you more effective? You, you don’t probably need it. You won’t die [00:13:00] without it.
[00:13:00] I don’t think. Um, but having it isn’t bad. You don’t need to suffer through life. You can actually enjoy your life and your life can be easy because here’s a Surprising thing. My love, you deserve it. And it sounds really cliche, but like you deserve it. You actually do. Having support doesn’t mean that you failed.
[00:13:16] It doesn’t mean that you can’t do things by yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re irresponsible with money. It’s more about you making and taking the decision to put yourself in environments and situations where you are best set up to experience the ups and downs of life or the harder emotions of life. or the contrast of life or the confusing parts of life so that you can be more innovative, more focused, more creative, a better partner, a better lover, a better citizen.
[00:13:43] It just make things less difficult. That is going to decrease your cortisol. It’s going to regulate your hormones. It’s going to improve your skin. You’re going to like literally like lose weight and emotionally, mentally, physically all of these things because you can put [00:14:00] yourself in environments where you feel so nourished and supported because life doesn’t have to be hard.
[00:14:09] Life doesn’t have to be hard. So my loves, if you haven’t already listened to episode number one on one called desire, the way to overlap. Overcome guilt and shame when selling I recommend that you go listen to that really just bulk up your education around desire And if you’re ready for something to be a little bit easier because you deserve it or you want to be more innovative Or you want to be more creative or you want to heal trauma or you want to be more creative Cultivate your first 5k months where you want to take your business and make it the leader of everything.
[00:14:42] And you want to become a billionaire. Come and work with me inside a body based business. We will use the three pillars of successful and easeful business for anxious or perfectionist or. Hardworking entrepreneurs. [00:15:00] These pillars are regulation, trauma healing, and business strategy. And just like you and your body and your business, your plan and actions that we take inside a body based business will be unique to you.
[00:15:12] However, I can guarantee you that you will go from anxious and self critical and feeling stuck to feeling on track, increasing your income and doubling down on your ease. And the way that we’re going to create your unique plan is when you book your complimentary, but very important embodied sales call, We’re going to use an embodiment process to create your plan to all of this increased income and ease through buddy based business.
[00:15:35] If this foster plan is exactly what I’m really good at supporting you with, I will invite you into buddy based business where I will share all of the costing, all of the in like the logistics and all of those amazing things. Go ahead and book your embodied sales call by clicking on the link below.