Parents: How To Build A Profitable Business, Anxiety Free And Kid Friendly – Stress Relief Through Nervous System Regulation

You’ll learn:

The BIGGEST gift you can give your kids and community
The secret to responding constructively to interruptions, leading to increased focus and productivity.
A unconventional perspective on balancing motivation for your business with dedicated parenthood, fostering a steady, clear, and creative approach.

We’ll end with 1 practical step you can start right now without needing to do any fancy rituals or even have access to your hands.

Listen to the 20 minute episode now.

After listening these are your next steps:

Increase your income and decrease your anxiety with personalised 1:1 guidance on how to build a business that honors your nervous system, your lifestyle and your deepest desires in this 6 month program.

First, you’ll start with The Embodied Entrepreneur 90minute nervous system training, and then you’ll be invited to book a call with me.

Inside this *free* immersive workshop, you’ll learn…⁠

-The ONE question you need to ask yourself to find more ease and less anxiety throughout your day

-What you MUST know if you want to create sustainable income in 2023 without chronic burnout or overworking

-The UNPOPULAR advice that helped me save thousands of dollars and hours in becoming a full-time coach

-The ONLY strategy you need to 2x your income and impact

-The 4 nervous system foundations to create more pleasure and ease and success in business

Recommended episode: 62: How to Make Money During Emotional Rollercoasters

In 20 minutes you will learn:

The ESSENTIAL tool to use to make money during personal crisis
What to do (and what not to do) when your personal life takes leaks into business
How to structure your day if you’re worried ‘the other foot is about to drop’

TRANSCRIPT:

[00:00:00] There are a few scenarios in life where your nervous system is put under so much responsibility, such as being a baron and also building a business. Today, you’re going to learn how to do both with less overwhelm and a lot more ease.

[00:00:15] Thank you for Amanda and Carissa for this recommendation, where we will cover parenting as an entrepreneur, how to stay focused when you are always interrupted and how to balance being really fired up about something in your business, but also balancing your parental responsibilities and the biggest gift that you can give your family and your business.

[00:00:38] We are looking today at parenthood, balancing parenthood and balancing. Business building business. I like to speak with you guys about what you’d like to see. , there were a couple of scenarios that seemed. Um, and it’s pretty common that actually a few people had

[00:01:00] mentioned. So when, um, Manda and Carissa mentioned these and we was chatting in the DMs, I was like, okay, we, like we have to come back to this.

[00:01:06] . We’re going to look at them through the lens of the nervous system so that you can use nervous system awareness and nervous system regulation to.

[00:01:18] Be the type of parent and business owner that you really want to be. This isn’t about giving you a prescribed thing to do. None of my work is. It’s about saying, okay, how can I use knowledge of the nervous system and how can I step back into regulation and what regulation means for me to be the best parent that I can be and be the best business owner that I can be and get it all done and feel good about it and then relax.

[00:01:45] So let’s look at the scenario around being interrupted kind of context is like, you know, you’re, you’re trying to focus on your projects, your tasks, you’re doing that deep work and maybe your child, um, is coming in and saying, Oh mom, can you look at [00:02:00] this? So mom, can you do this? And you kind of just keep getting interrupted.

[00:02:03] And of course you. Really value being an amazing mom. So you want to be really attentive to their needs. You want to hear them. And you also really value the work that you’re doing inside of your business. So you want to also be focused on your business, right? So if we look at this through the dense of the nervous system, depending on how we.

[00:02:21] Um, what state of the nervous system we are accessing in that moment, we’re going to respond to it in different ways. I’ll read them out. You see kind of where you land or maybe you land in between, or maybe you have a different example. You can kind of take note and say, Hmm, I wonder what nervous system response I’m having to the stimuli of being interrupted while I’m focusing on something.

[00:02:42] The first one would be a flight nervous system response. So this is where. Your body perceives the interruption as something that is very uncomfortable and kind of dangerous. It threatens something that is of value or important to you in that moment. And so it’s normal reaction or the reaction it’s choosing in that moment is

[00:03:00] to kind of, we want, it thinks the best way to get out of this is kind of getting away from it.

[00:03:04] So the flight response is going to be like. You are very rushed and you feel really overwhelmed and it’s kind of, okay, how can I do all of these things? And I’ll do that and then I’ll do this. And you’re probably feeling a bit scattered and okay, well, while I wait two seconds while that loads, I’ll go over here and I’ll do this and it’s just like, you know, okay, right.

[00:03:20] We’ve done that. And then you’re kind of floating around and you’re just like, go, go, go, go, go, right? Rushed, overwhelmed. You can feel it in my, you can feel it in my breath as I speak, can’t you? I can feel it on my body as I say it. Then we have the fight response. The fight response is fighting either towards them or towards yourself.

[00:03:39] So being really kind of snappy towards them and like, Oh, maybe like passive aggressive and maybe, um, Exploding or snapping in ways that you’re not really proud of, but we’ve all kind of done it before, or you’re really lovely to them on the outside, but you’re also very, but you’re critical to yourself.

[00:03:57] So you might be critical and explosive towards them,

[00:04:00] or you might be critical and explosive towards yourself. Or you might be both. The freeze response is going to, there’s two, there’s two kind of parts of the immobilization response, the freeze and the fawn. And you’ll see similarities, but they act differently.

[00:04:17] The freeze response is like, you’re going to feel super stuck. You’re going to feel heavy. You’re going to feel slow. It’s going to be extremely difficult for you to rapidly move between tasks and multitasks in the way that you would on a very agile or mentally agile day. You’ve seen yourself on those days.

[00:04:35] Everything’s going to start feeling really hopeless. It’s going to be hard to focus back on your work. Once you do get a moment, it’s kind of like, what’s, what’s the point of even doing this? You find yourself procrastinating doing busy work. You know, when you do get a moment to sit down, you’re probably sitting down and saying, Oh, like organizing your assignment board, organizing your to do list and the kind of thinking of how am I all going to, how am I ever going to get all this [00:05:00] done instead of maybe an alternative from a regulated and I’m giving you some clues here.

[00:05:06] A regulated nervous system might sit down and just be like, all right, cool. What’s next on the list? Let’s do it. Um, yeah, it’s just like this stuckness, heaviness, slow, less kind of hopelessness. And the fawn. People, places, everyone else puts your spouse’s needs first, puts your children’s needs first, um, puts your, your friend’s needs first.

[00:05:27] When you’re in that phone response, you’re tending to everyone else. You’re befriending everyone else and tending to them. Um, More than you are yourself. So everyone else’s needs come before your own. It’s, it’s an interesting one. And women tend to be more, um, fawn, more of a fawn response just because we’ve been socialized to tend and befriend people to create safety.

[00:05:54] That’s just how we’ve been kind of socialized and brought up. And it makes sense in our nervous system. So people please other

[00:06:00] people. This can then extend to people pleasing your audience. And then you’re wondering. Why you’re not making any sales and why you feel icky. So that’s for being interrupted.

[00:06:09] When you’re interrupted, take a moment right now. Say, okay, do I tend towards flight, freeze or fawn?

[00:06:21] Now, when you’re trying to balance all of it, so you have a really, you’re feeling motivated, inspired in your business, and you’re also feeling dedicated to your parenthood and it’s your responsibility. You have to, um, and you’re struggling to balance it all. Let’s look at how the different. The different nervous systems states would react.

[00:06:42] So we’d have flight. How would you do it? Rushed and overwhelmed. You’re rushing through everything in an overwhelmed, feels like balancing it all. It’s just you flitting and flatting and flat, that’s not a word, all over the place. You just, it’s just so many things. Your house is probably a mess anyway.

[00:06:57] Everything feels like a massive chaos. [00:07:00] Um, and you feel like you can’t catch your breath. Fight. You’re a snappy. You’re defensive. You’re critical of yourself. Nothing is good enough and nothing’s good enough for your children either. And you can be kind of blamey in your communication. You can be kind of, um, over controlling sometimes.

[00:07:21] Uh, you just, you know, you, you have this outward energy of like, if I can criticize or control, um, the way that everything else, everyone else does anything or the way that I do things, then, then everything will be okay and I’ll be safe. And, you know, It’s, you’re angry too, you get angry and frustrated or, or bitter if you’re a projector in human design, you get really bitter as well.

[00:07:43] Um, and if you don’t know what that is, just ignore it. Freeze. You feel stuck. You feel heavy. You feel like you can’t get anything done and you start to feel really hopeless. There can be a lot of procrastination in here. It’s hard to get out of bed. Oh, it’s hard to just send an

[00:08:00] email. It feels like what’s the point of even starting if it’s going to fail or if I’m not going to have time.

[00:08:06] I can’t figure out my calendar, like what’s the point. Then we have the form instead of balancing it all effectively. You ping pong between everyone else’s desires and your own. It’s the same thing. You’re not really balancing at all. You’re just taking care of everyone else’s needs, taking care of everyone else’s desires, saying yes when you don’t really want to, not even knowing what you want to say yes to, making sure everyone else is okay.

[00:08:36] And I’ve noticed a lot of people who tend towards this form of this ping ponging. You might notice this as well. I definitely went through it. You’re probably pretty good at relate. You’re probably pretty good at maintaining relationships. You might notice that you’re kind of the go to friend for advice sometimes, or the go to one in the house for like, how do you do this?

[00:08:55] And you know, you relate to this if you’re maybe like an enneagram to, [00:09:00] um, or something, which I am. You’re like, You know, you’re very loving and you’re very nurturing and you spend a lot of time nurturing your relationships, but there are times where you do end up being the coach or the therapist or the healer of other people, um, in ways that are not super empowering.

[00:09:19] And so then you end up really exhausted because you’ve been giving to others and you haven’t given to yourself and you haven’t given to your business, then you end up frustrated and then we end up not doing things because now we’re frustrated or we feel hopeless. So what is the solution? Those are all the problems.

[00:09:35] What’s the solution? The solution is to access a regulated nervous system state of, I can, and then reassess the problem. There’s something that happens whenever we have stimuli coming to us and that, and that creates a nerve, dysregulated nervous system. Even if it is just for a microsecond, we have to solve the problem.

[00:09:57] Of the stress inside of the system and the [00:10:00] energy inside of the system. And we also have to solve the problem of the actual problem. So I’ve been interrupted or my schedule is overbooked that causes it response inside of my body. I need to set solve the problem of working through that stress response by regulating my nervous system.

[00:10:15] And then I need to look at, okay, how can I, um, how realistically, how can I nourish my child and nourish my business and nourish myself? What would that look like for me? Today, not forever, but for me today, what would that look like? And that really comes down to accessing the regulated nervous system state of, I can.

[00:10:43] What a great question guys. This is Freya. You may have heard her before. She’s my cute little assistant who is asking all the questions that you Might be asking as you guys build your business with less anxiety and more profit as an embodied entrepreneur. Yeah, so there are a lot [00:11:00] of ways that we can do this.

[00:11:01] One is we can work through the back door, um, and we can work through lifestyle, diet, exercise, and embodiment practices. And two, we can do the deeper work. Of kind of cleansing out the energy that’s creating a larger burden on the nervous system through trauma healing. So healing, maybe there’s a fear of not being enough, or you’re afraid of not having enough money, or you’re afraid that resting means that you won’t receive money, or you’re afraid that people will think you’re a bad mom if you’re.

[00:11:32] Um, feminine, not sex, like, um, feminine embodiment, you know, like the mom shouldn’t be able, shouldn’t do that type of work, or maybe mom shouldn’t be working, or if you, you know, there’s some deeper fears there, or maybe you’re afraid of, I don’t know, being seen, or maybe you’re afraid of success. You’re afraid that if you get really successful, you’re going to become one of those moms who doesn’t really spend a lot of time with their kids and that goes deeply against your values.

[00:11:58] So there’s a [00:12:00] Deeper concern or limitation or lack of congruence inside of your system that’s creating these little, um, I’m not going to say little because I don’t want to invalidate them. They’re quite large, but let’s say like kind of like, uh, smaller, um, difficulties in the grand, grand scheme of things of scheduling or having to, to figure this one thing out, you know, they’re really, really difficult and make such a.

[00:12:27] Big difference and have such a big impact on your life, , and your capacity, but kind of being interrupted or having a difficult schedule or balancing it all and knowing when to do what, , when we have a larger fear underneath that’s inside of the boat. The system that is an influence on how we respond to these day to day lifestyle challenges, it makes those challenges so much bigger.

[00:12:53] And so when we address that underlying fear, we’re able to look at these challenges from a place of [00:13:00] creativity, compassion, connection, harmony, steadiness, curiosity, power, confidence, perspective, and relaxation, and ultimately ease. That’s why we’re here so that we can look at all of the different problems in life and find opportunities, um, to connect with yourself, to connect with others and to create a life that brings you a sense of purpose and harmony, creativity and empowerment.

[00:13:31] And that brings us really to the essential question that we’re asking and the one that I promised to answer you, which is the biggest gift that you can give your family, your community and the biggest gift that you can give your family and your community yourself. Is a regulated nervous system. That’s what people want from you more than anything.

[00:13:54] They don’t want you to be perfect. They want you to be regulated and they want you to connect and they want

[00:14:00] you to be a safe person to be around in your sales process, in your business, in your marketing, in your family, in your home, in your, in your external community. That’s, that’s what people want from you.

[00:14:10] They want you regulated. When you are regulated, you create a sense of safety for them and you allow them to be themselves. And so what, what does that even mean? Why? And why do they want it? Humans perceive safety through each other’s nervous systems. And especially when you have children, it’s really important for you to have that regulated nervous system because you’re helping them do many, many things.

[00:14:36] And this podcast won’t be able to go into the scope of that. But for example, you’re helping, you’re modeling them how to deal with challenges. You’re modeling them how to be in relationships with others, how to deal with big emotions, how to relate to themselves, what they’re really looking for, what each human is looking for.

[00:14:57] And I could do a whole episode on this. I might, [00:15:00] I should actually, are two things, which is connection and congruence inside of your nervous system. You and I are always having a conversation. You’re having a conversation with everyone through our nervous systems, through our primal bodies. Now, primal bodies asking a thousand times a minute.

[00:15:17] Am I safe? Am I loved? And really what it’s looking for is connection. So are you and I truly connected? Are you true? Do you, are you present with me in this moment or is your mind somewhere else? And if it is somewhere else, can you be congruent with that? Don’t tell me that you’re present, but have your mind somewhere else, because I pick up, my primal body picks up that you’re lying.

[00:15:43] And that creates a lack of congruence, which means there’s something that we don’t know. There’s something you’re not telling me. And that makes me feel unsafe. Our primal bodies like connection. And congruence, we like things to make sense because it means that we feel safe and we want to [00:16:00] feel connected with each other because it means that we’re loved, which means that we’re safe.

[00:16:05] That’s the way that our nervous systems work. So. If we prioritize regulation and we prioritize connection and congruence in all of your interactions with your children and with your business, we’re going to look at these challenges in a little bit of a different way. So let’s just look at these two and maybe you can, before you, before you listen to mine, maybe just pause, take a moment.

[00:16:34] How could you. Interact with yourself, your business and your children, prioritizing your regulated nervous system. What would that look like for you in your life and your specific challenges?

[00:16:49] So how I approach this with compassion, connection and congruence and some of the other qualities of the regulated nervous system are constructive. It’s oriented [00:17:00] towards creating a solution. It’s steady, it’s clear, it’s curious. Has compassion.

[00:17:05] I already said that a few times. It is confident. It is creative. It’s connected to other people. Double up on that. Has perspective. It can see things from different perspectives. It’s driven by a sense of purpose and direction. Has power. So it has an ability to influence things. And effect change and it understands that it has an, it understands its power.

[00:17:26] It understands I can affect change. I can influence it breathes deeply and it has relaxed muscles. I’m interrupted. First thing I’m going to do is I’m going to connect with that person. I’m going to look at them in the eyes, turn around, look at them in the eyes, take a big, deep breath, just breathe down into my belly.

[00:17:47] And depending on the situation, you might say, Oh, like, I’m so excited. I’m so excited to look at that. That’s so exciting. Really genuinely don’t lie. Um, and I [00:18:00] have to finish this thing up and I’m so excited to come in two minutes and celebrate that with you, babe. That

[00:18:09] would be it. I’m so excited. I’m being congruent. I’m connecting with them. Maybe I take two minutes to just finish the thing that the little task that I’m doing and I go and I connect and I celebrate. It’s steady, lives up to its words. I go and I celebrate. Oh my God. Yeah, that’s so cool. Thank you for like so excited to celebrate this with you that you like you interrupted me and now I’m here and this is awesome.

[00:18:31] And I’m flowing and okay, cool. Now I’m going to flow back. So I’m going to go sit back down. Um, at my desk with my thing, I’m going to take two deep breaths and straighten my back. I’m going to look at the task that I was doing again. I’m going to notice if my mind wants to go down into, this is so hard. I can’t do things like this will never work.

[00:18:49] I’m going to witness it, take a few deep breaths, have some compassion with myself. I’m going to get straight back into the thing that I was doing. Now this is a practice. You’re going to have to practice it a few times for it to come easy. And [00:19:00] then it will become, microseconds. You won’t even notice it.

[00:19:03] Then if I was balancing, balancing, um, everything that I’m doing, if I was to look at it from a regulated nervous system perspective, number one, I would be present, really present, really connected with each thing that I’m doing. And I would focus on resourcing to hold more of what I’m experiencing in that part of your life.

[00:19:27] So that phase of your life, that moment, so resourcing to increase capacity. And I have podcast episodes on this that I will have. Link down to the show notes. So resourcing to increase capacity. So you don’t drop into flight, fight, freeze, or fall. These are all relatively advanced practices applied into very tangible moments in your life, in your business.

[00:19:55] We’ve also covered a lot of concepts today in the podcast, but you get to learn all of [00:20:00] this. The tangible practices, the advancedness of it, the how to apply it to your business, how to apply it to your family inside of body based business. This is a one on one six month program made just for you with my guidance to increase your income and decrease your anxiety.

[00:20:18] We build a business plan that honors your nervous system, honors your lifestyle, and honors your deepest desires. Then we work on executing it and mastering it for six months so that you walk away knowing exactly what you need to do to turn on and create income consistently, simply, and strategically. So if you are interested in increasing your income and decreasing your anxiety, the very first thing you’re going to do is install.

[00:20:46] with embodied entrepreneur, which is a 19 minute nervous system training. Then you will be invited to book a call with me. This training is really important. It is going to teach you the question, like the, the exact fundamental [00:21:00] tools that you can start applying today or tonight to increase your income and.

[00:21:05] Build your business using your somatic intelligence, not somebody else’s rule book, but regulating your nervous system, healing your trauma so that you can access that curiosity, that playfulness, that, that power, that self compassion, that intuition that you know is deep down inside of your bones. You’ve just, you’re just learning to access it more and more each day.

[00:21:25] You’ll find the link below to access this.