What To Do When You F*Ck Up – Nervous System Training For Profitable Business With Trauma Healing And Stress Relief

In this episode you will learn: 

• The 3 exact steps I take clients through when they make a mistake 

• The truth about nervous system dysregulation and why it isnt the enemy 

• 4 essential reflection questions to ask about every action, goal and event in your business 

What’s the next step? 

Click here to book an Embodied Sales Call today, we’ll craft your $5k Body Based Blueprint and determine whether Body Based Business is your next best investment to create a 2024 that’s more regulated and more profitable.

TRANSCRIPT:

[00:00:00] Here’s how to stop taking things so personally when things do not go your way or you make a mistake. I probably shouldn’t be sharing all of this for free, but here we go anyway. Today, you’re going to learn the three exact steps that I take my clients through when they make a mistake, the truth about nervous system dysregulation and why it isn’t the enemy, and the four essential reflection questions to ask about every action, goal, and event in your business.

[00:00:41] Thank you to Roo for recommending this episode. If you guys have an episode that you would like to recommend, send me a message, um, and we’ll, we’ll get it up there. If you have something that you are pondering or something comes up in this episode, you’re like, hmm, Sheridan, go deeper into that, send me a message and I’ll make you an episode.

[00:00:57] So let’s look at this [00:01:00] through the lens of the nervous system. When you make a mistake, a regulated nervous system looks at that mistake with creativity, compassion, perspective, and patience. A dysregulated nervous system looks at things in many different ways, but the large kind of, um, like main categories that we can categorize everything into is through judgment, avoidance, or hopelessness.

[00:01:23] So, this might look like for you, you avoid making mistakes, so you don’t do anything or you don’t take risks. You kind of think about things a lot and do them less. Listen to podcasts about them and doodle less. I’m being, I’m kind of, I’m joshing with you. Is that a thing that we, do we still say that? Is that an Australian thing?

[00:01:41] So, yeah, you might avoid making mistakes so you don’t do anything or you take risks. Uh, you avoid kind of reflecting on your mistakes so you don’t take feedback from others. Or you’re not open to the fact that you might need to improve certain skills. I remember this is, this is one that I’ve struggled with a lot.

[00:01:59] [00:02:00] I I’m kind of known as the person, I have a friend, she sends me memes, she’s like, this is you, you don’t take feedback, there’s memes about not taking feedback, um, because I I’ve struggled with feedback, receiving feedback, and I’ve struggled with being open to the fact that I might need to improve certain skills.

[00:02:18] It’s really triggered me before, and so, you, you might resonate with this one in the way that I do. Uh, it, it feels like a visceral reaction in your body whenever you get feedback on something that you’re doing, and it makes it really hard to improve, and so you just kind of avoid asking for feedback from your mentors, or from people who you’re learning from, or or from your clients or from your peers or from yourself sometimes, like how can I improve this?

[00:02:45] Uh, you might be hypercritical of yourself and also spend a lot of time in perfectionism. So waiting until the perfect moment to do a certain task, making sure the reel is perfect before you execute it, making sure that you said the right thing, making sure that [00:03:00] everything is perfect, um, and being really critical of yourself.

[00:03:03] Especially if and when you do make, when you make a mistake, we’re all, we’re all going to make a mistake and you feel really hopeless when You make a mistake, but this also kind of usually for a lot of people tends to hopelessness in general. Like, Oh, things are really hard in this business. It’s never going to work.

[00:03:20] There are too many people doing similar things. My spouse will never support me. Oh my God, there’s nothing I can do to get my family on board. Um, my mom keeps sending me jobs and telling me to get her. Like, you know, like hinting that I could get a real job or things like that. Uh, or you try to avoid making mistakes by pleasing other people and anticipating or guessing their needs before they articulate them.

[00:03:43] For example, yeah, um, well, what about if I lower the price? or let me change my calendar or um like editing what you say because you’re worried that it might kind of ruffle some feathers or it might like you can see something especially [00:04:00] us coaches or therapists we have this tendency we can see a pattern in somebody and They actually want, most of us, if they’re hiring you for your guidance, want you to point out that pattern, because they can’t see it, but we can see it.

[00:04:12] But, because we know that it’s going to create an emotional response in them, we avoid pointing out the pattern. You ever done that? That’s people pleasing. Of course, ask for, you know, you guys know me, if you’ve ever sat on a call with me or anything, I’ll ask permission before, before pointing out a pattern.

[00:04:31] Hey, I’m noticing this thing, can I, do you, do you want to hear it? You guys are always open to say no. Um, when, when you’re on an embodied sales call with me, that often happens. I’m like, okay, can I, can I, can I ask you a question? But it might be a little uncomfortable and you’re totally well within your right to be like, actually, no.

[00:04:49] I always say no. People ask me questions and I’m like, no, I’m actually not open for that right now. Anyway, I’m going on a tangent. So how do we stop taking things so personally? [00:05:00] The way that we heal this is with the body based business method, which is three prompt. One, regulation. Two, trauma healing. Three, strategic implementation into the business.

[00:05:10] Let’s look at each one of them individually. Let’s start with regulation. It’s really important that you understand something here. A regulated nervous system is not feeling easeful all of the time and just like doing everything like you’re floating on the earth, you know, it’s not all orgasms and Ease.

[00:05:35] It’s not. A regulated nervous system is a very resilient nervous system. Which means that it’s made to go into dysregulation or stress responses or difficult moments. And it’s made to get out of them effectively, efficiently, and with ease. That’s where the ease comes in. Yes, you end up spending more time in ease because, because we’re getting out of that um, stress response [00:06:00] quicker, we spend more time in ease.

[00:06:02] And there are other methods and real reasons why you would spend more time in ease, but why a regulated nervous system isn’t about doing everything with ease. Two different things, not the point of this podcast. We’ll go into that in a different one. So a regulated nervous system is resilient. It is made to go into dysregulation and then to get out of it effectively, efficiently and with ease.

[00:06:22] This includes sometimes being mean to yourself. Your mind is a beautiful, creative thing and we love it. Our goal isn’t to get rid of its thoughts. Our goal isn’t even to get rid of what you might call negative emotions, what I call uncomfortable emotions. Our goal is to bounce back into Let’s look at it again.

[00:06:51] What did I say? Creativity, compassion, perspective and patience.

[00:06:58] So, you’ve made a [00:07:00] mistake. You’ve You’re having an internal response to the external event, making a mistake. And an emotion is activated inside of your body and then latches onto your thoughts and a story is activated inside of your body. What we actually need to do is we need to move that energy that’s now inside of your body through the system slash alchemize it.

[00:07:22] There’s a lot of ways that you can bring regulation and move that energy through the system. Uh, however, relating to this specific one, what I’ve noticed most common in my clients in the world and in myself is that this is often, so taking things personally when you’ve made a mis, when you’ve made a mistake or things haven’t gone as you’ve expected, is often a sign of an inner child being activated.

[00:07:50] Therefore, the most effective way to begin regulation, bring regulation into your body. is what we call [00:08:00] embodied self compassion. This is different to self compassion because of the very essential part of it is embodied. In yoga therapy we have something called abhavna. In Sanskrit it kind of very loosely translates to a feeling tone.

[00:08:20] So when we create a feeling tone of self compassion Towards the energy, the activation, the story, the emotion, the self criticism, the hopelessness, the avoiding of mistakes, the avoiding, um, feedback, not taking risks, whatever your pattern is, when we create an embodied feeling tone towards that pattern, we regulate the system.

[00:08:48] It’s important to note here. That this includes an embodied self compassion, this feeling of self compassion that you feel in your [00:09:00] body towards even the part of you that wants to get rid of this. There is a difference between the knife energy of like, I have to get rid of this, and deep self compassion for both the part of you that wants to stop this behaviour, and the part of you that is engaging in the behaviour.

[00:09:19] We want to hold both of them inside with self compassion. This is a skill. That is cultivated and practiced over time. It is a skill that you learn when you join a body based business. It’s also a skill that you’ll be learning in my upcoming group program called Shameless. More about that later. Probably shouldn’t have said anything.

[00:09:39] Anyway, ah, I’m glad to say things that’s my business. Okay, trauma healing is number two.

[00:09:47] The way that we transition into trauma healing is by taking this embodied sense of self compassion, this bhavna, and then healing and re parenting the [00:10:00] inner child so that your inner child stops trying to get their need for approval met through the business and they start getting it met through you.

[00:10:11] Now, my training is with many different types of inner child therapy, um, IFS, internally family system, internal family systems, reparenting, like all of these different things. Um, and I take an embodied approach. Some inner child work doesn’t always come with such a high level of embodied self compassion.

[00:10:35] So if you’re doing this by yourself, I just want you to be really curious about that and also curious about kind of the methods you use to reparent and to heal and to support this inner child. Not that anyone is better or worse than the other, but I’m just. I want to emphasize the importance of having this embodied sense of self compassion and curiosity and love and care as you go about [00:11:00] healing.

[00:11:01] Um, so that we’re not leaning towards spiritual bypassing or toxic positivity. That’s important. So we heal and we reparent the inner child so that they stop trying to get their need for approval met through the business and start getting it met through you. Let that sink in. How is your inner child trying to get its need for approval met through your business or need for acceptance or need for safety through your business?

[00:11:29] And how could it instead get it met through you? This is a really big one we spend a lot of time on for a lot of different clients inside of body based business. Cool. I’ll make a podcast on that later. Then, once we have regulated the nervous system and created a new, um, Somatic experience inside of your psyche, inside of your subconscious.

[00:11:52] And we have reset your entire inner system. We now come back to the business. That’s why body [00:12:00] based business is 75 percent somatic support and 25 percent strategic implementation. The strategic implementation is still important and we’re going to do it from this embodied sense of creativity, compassion, perspective and patience.

[00:12:15] A regulated nervous system, a resilient nervous system. So we’re going to look at the event. And we’re going to ask the business questions. You’re going to access that business owner inside of you, that entrepreneur inside of you. We got embodied, now we’re being the entrepreneur. My lovely embodied entrepreneur, the questions that you are going to ask are going to be things like, what did I learn from this experience?

[00:12:38] What did I like? What would I change next time? How will I implement these changes into the business? And what does the human, what does me, the human, who’s executing the tasks in the business, or your assistant, or your team member, need to implement these changes? And that is how an embodied entrepreneur [00:13:00] brings lots of self compassion and also strategic changes that need to be made inside of the business to support the business growth when you make a mistake or when things do not go according to plan.

[00:13:13] If you’re interested in joining body based business so that you can Use the 75 percent sabbatic support and 25 percent um, strategic implementation, you are more than welcome to apply for an embodied sales call inside of this embodied sales call, we’re going to use a little bit of an embodiment practice to identify the four things that you need to increase your income today, this week, this month, um, and then if those four things align with What I am very good at, then you’re going to be invited into body based business, where you’re going to learn all the details that you need to know.

[00:13:48] And we’re going to get you enrolled. I will leave the link below for that, and I cannot wait to see you on your call.