Sheridan Ruth

Sheridan Ruth
Burnout Support ChatGPT

Exactly how to f*ck up shame healing in business – Stress Relief, Nervous System and Trauma Healing for Profitable Business

Month: January 2024

Listen Wherever You Get Your Podcasts

Have you ever struggled with processing emotions or found it challenging to move past shame quickly? In this episode, we uncover a common mistake that most people make in shame healing and how it can lead to a freeze response in the nervous system creating more procrastination, trouble making decisions, self-criticism and lake of creativity.

By the end of the episode you will know: 

 

-The crucial link between shame, the nervous system, and your ability to build a thriving business.

-How misguided approaches to shame can hinder creativity, productivity, and resilience, impacting your daily life and business success.

-How to release the judgment associated with shame, opening doors to greater ease, creativity, and productivity in your life and business.

-The most effective approach to breaking the cycle of self-judgment and emotional discomfort.

-How to create a more fluid and enjoyable daily life, fostering better relationships, effortless sales, and enhanced ease. 

 

 

TRANSCRIPT:

 

[00:00:00] Sheridan: Have you ever tried to process an emotion or stop being so judgmental to yourself and you just haven’t been able to find that space of peace and ease on the other side as quickly as you’d like? In this episode, you are going to uncover the very common way that most people fuck up shame healing. And the way that they all meant it, and the way that they make, they increment the way that shame shows up in their life, leading to a nervous system freeze response. You’re going to learn how to release a lot of the judgment want to heal myself and I want to fix myself energy that comes with building a business.

 

[00:00:52] In the personal development space and increasing your self leadership capacity, your resilient capacity.

 

[00:01:00] My background is in integrative somatic trauma therapy. That means looking at the whole person and using the body to heal chronic stress or traumatic situations that the body is holding either from past events or ancestral patterns that are held in our DNA.

 

[00:01:18] There’s a lot of. information out on the internet about, um, shame and trauma. Like it’s really awesome how, how mainstream it’s become. However, I I’m noticing that our education around shame and the way that we process or move through shame hasn’t caught up with the education we have around emotions and emotional processing and trauma healing.

 

[00:01:44] So inside of this quick episode, we’re going to look at what not to do and what to do instead and why it’s important to address the shame body as you continue. Doing your inner work and especially as you continue building your dreams and your business. It’s, I’m not kidding when

 

[00:02:00] I say it’s going to change everything.

 

[00:02:01] I was on a coaching call yesterday with a client of mine and we were working through something and she came to this idea of, you know, there’s this underlying shame that of there’s something wrong with me, you know, in her head all day. There’s this underlying pattern of like, well, there’s something wrong with me.

 

[00:02:17] Something goes wrong. There’s something wrong with me and something didn’t work out. There’s something wrong with me. People don’t want to hang out with me. There’s something wrong with me. And Oh, I just, I get excited when I explained to her that we needed to take this approach from a very shame free way, and that the intention was to look at this without shame.

 

[00:02:37] She just looked at me with these eyes of like, yes, she just showed and this is actually really exciting. Yes, this is really exciting. Guys, this is really exciting. There is so much lightness ahead of you. There is so much ease ahead of you. There is so much profit. There is so much anxiety ness and freeness vibes ahead of you.

 

[00:02:57] [00:03:00] Throughout our day, based on what’s happening internally or externally, we have certain emotions come up inside of us. These emotions are made to move through the body. As energy, be experienced in the body as energy and then complete within about 90 seconds.

 

[00:03:18] Sheridan: When I say complete, it means you kind of move over that wave and then on the other side you find neutrality. Some people describe this as peacefulness, ease and stillness. So these might be emotions such as anger, fear, grief, right? Once that emotion is complete, completed, energy is released, and we free up space to be creative, to be proactive, , be connected to other people. However, When shame comes into the mix, when our body is holding a lot of shame, emotions cannot complete. When I say that our body, it feels like our body is holding a lot of shame, think of it like your body is a container and it has a system that moves through.

 

[00:03:59] That [00:04:00] whole, that is within that container that communicates everything that’s happening inside of that container. That system is your nervous system. Now within that container, if based on our past experiences or even our ancestral experiences, we have felt any type of shame, it kind of, it gets kind of put in that container and unless we actively and proactively remove it outside of the container, we live with that shame in our container.

 

[00:04:31] Everybody experiences shame. It’s just a part of how we live together as a society. We essentially not, some people might disagree with me with this, but this is the easiest way that I, I have to believe it.

 

[00:04:45] Shame helps us avoid doing things that are going to be harmful to our belonging in the community. That is healthy. It becomes toxic when our body or our mind [00:05:00] misunderstand it, or we’re holding shame inside and shame does what we call binding or latching on to emotions and stories and essentially making an emotion or a story or an experience in your head full of shame when it really didn’t need to be.

 

[00:05:19] That happens because we’re holding the shame in our body. So when shame latches onto these stories, these emotions, these experiences, we can’t complete the emotion, meaning we can’t gain the wisdom and that is needed from that emotion. We can’t look at it objectively. We are stuck in that cycle. That’s why we can see we have chronic health problems or we get that emotional energy begins.

 

[00:05:45] negatively impacting us. We have chronic health problems, we are really judgmental of ourselves, people do not want to hang out with us, , people, yeah, we feel heavy, we feel anxious, we feel fearful, but consistently we

 

[00:06:00] have trouble resting, we cannot be creative, we have brain fog, um, we are reactive in partnership, we are reactive with the things around us, we can’t sleep.

 

[00:06:11] I could go on for days. The moral of the story is that if you have a lot of shame in your body, you will not access the amount of resilience, creativity, and connection that is innately available to you. This helps you connect in your relationships. It helps you do sales in a really easy way.

 

[00:06:29] It helps you receive money and it helps your day to day life just feel like a massive little flow and dance. Very common problem and the very common advice is to process shame or to process guilt or to Fix yourself or heal yourself Shame often appears like a feeling of guilt or a feeling of like something’s wrong and I need to fix something a lot of people who end up in this personal development realm end up in 

 

[00:07:00] an action of how do I fix this?

[00:07:01] How do I heal it? How do I get rid of this feeling? This can manifest sometimes as a, why didn’t I do XYZ or let me find the right strategy or let me find the right coach or I’ve made the wrong decision. I shouldn’t have done this in the past. What this does is it pulls you out of creativity. It pulls you out of focusing on the solution and moving forward.

 

[00:07:21] It pulls you out of feeling I’m capable. I’ve got this. This is totally going to be fine. Not a problem. It pulls you out of productivity and nothing gets completed. And then because you’re feeling stagnant or you’re dwelling on the past or you’re judging the way that you’ve acted or the way that somebody else has acted, you end up feeling icky with guilt.

 

[00:07:41] And this all mints. The idea that you’re doing something wrong and there’s grossness inside with which Aggravates the stuckness that you feel which creates more shame and we end up in this cycle There are three things that you can do instead of going into this cycle that are going to heal your shame

 

[00:08:00] I am NOT going to share them in this episode.

 

[00:08:02] I’m gonna make another episode that is dedicated to them It’s gonna be we’re gonna go in depth But your homework for right now is to notice and this is the biggest mistake how you fixate Or you focus on fixing yourself, how you fixate or you focus on healing yourself, how you fixate or you focus on doing things better, finding the right strategy.

 

[00:08:27] Yes. Strategy is important. Yes. You can do things better, but there is a different energy between, Hmm. This could be more effective and more efficient if I did it like this versus there’s something wrong with the way that I’ve been doing it so far and I need to fix it. There’s something wrong with me and I need to fix it.

 

[00:08:47] There’s something wrong with me and I need to heal it. There’s something wrong with this process and I need to x, y, like. Fixing and healing is not what we are here for. And I want you to notice this week, just kind of notice, like, [00:09:00] when do I pop into fixing or healing? When do I judge my past actions? When do I judge the way that I’m managing this?

 

[00:09:08] Even, I’m going to give an example, a very tangible one. This podcast was supposed to come out two days ago, and halfway through the week, I decided that I wanted it to be a different podcast, , and I’ve had a really busy week, and so, and it’s, I, you guys know me, I when I say I’m going to do something, I do it.

 

[00:09:26] So it’s really odd that this wasn’t out on the day that it was supposed to be out. I essentially had two options. I was having some trouble editing the one that I wanted it to come out cause I’m using a new software and it’s an interview. Um, and uh, I’ve been busy and well, I’ve been busy and I’ve been having fun.

 

[00:09:41] So I had two options. I could spend the last three days thinking about how I really need to get this podcast done. Um, how, Um, unapologetic offer creation and shameless sales launch is going to be affected because I didn’t get this out on time, how I should have done things XYZ, um, how this means something [00:10:00] greater about me and how I need to be more mindful about how I am disciplined or I need to like be better at nervous system work or creatively like I could have done, I could have gone the spiral, I could have felt guilty, , I could have done a million things.

 

[00:10:15] What would have happened if I had done that? I would have gone. Dunked straight into resistance and released at any type of creativity. , any type of living in the present moment. I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed the, you know, dinner that I had with my friends last night. , the beautiful sun, that sunset that I got to drive home from last night and I would have slept badly.

 

[00:10:34] And then this podcast would have been really weird or I would have just felt heavy in the shower thinking about it. You guys feel it, you know it. Here’s what I did instead. I said, huh, yeah, nothing wrong, makes sense. It’s different than what I would normally done. Probably not something that I want to repeat.

 

[00:10:54] And I definitely want to be more effective and efficient about this next week. I’ll sit down on Monday and look at how that’s going to happen.

 

[00:11:00] Um, in the meantime, I’m really happy and I’m grateful and I’m celebratorying XYZ. Celebrating XYZ. And Yeah, I’m going to be here and I’m going to make this piece of fish and I’m looking forward to waking up on Saturday and recording the podcast.

 

[00:11:15] And hopefully I’ll have the information about editing so that I can get the original one out and if I don’t then I’ll just do another one when I’ve got everything planned. And things haven’t gone to plan and I’m still doing this later. But I got to enjoy and be present with everything else that happened.

 

 

[00:11:32] I got to feel really cuddled up in my bed last night. I got to sleep in a little bit. And look, the podcast is still going to get out. And I’ve chosen and I’ve used my body and I’ve used the power of my mind to not make this something wrong about me. , I don’t need to change strategies, I don’t need to fix myself, I don’t need to heal.

 

[00:11:52] I’ve bought ease and creativity into the moment. I didn’t even know what I was going to say in this podcast when I hit record and now I have a story.

 

[00:11:59] Freya: [00:12:00] Wait Sheridan, but what is the nervous system mistake people make around shame?

 

[00:12:04] Sheridan: Focusing on it and going into it.

 

[00:12:07] Because focusing on it and going into it just creates more of it, and we don’t want that. When we focus on it and we go into it, it’s too much for the body. So we end up in the freeze response. We end up in the freeze response. It’s too much for the body. Your body wasn’t made to hold that much shame. Your nervous system wasn’t made to hold that much shame because it is a socialized emotion or response.

 

[00:12:30] It is not a core emotion. So we, we can’t hold as much of it. And it takes us into dysregulation and that freeze response where everything is stagnant and we procrastinate. So don’t focus so much on it. Don’t focus on the guilt. Don’t focus on the judgment. Don’t try and fix it.

 

[00:12:47] Instead, let’s start with observing it and stop having shame about having it.

Why Smart People Need To Stop Looking For The Answers To Make Consistent $5k Months – Learn How Alyssa Used Trauma Healing and Nervous System Regulation to Create A Profitable Business inside Body Based Business 

Month: January 2024

Listen Wherever You Get Your Podcasts

Have you ever just wanted somebody to tell you that you were doing it right and this is going to be how you get everything you want?

 

I certainly have. And Alyssa, our guest, has as well.

Today’s podcast is going to support you in:

– identifying where your inner good girl might be sabotaging your success

– how to move through frustration after you’ve invested a lot and you feel like your business should be further along

– what to do when you feel frustrated by your coach

– how to overcome the fear of criticism, judgment, judgment, and fear of persecution using the wisdom of your body

– what to do if you’re considering getting supported in your business, but you’re moving through a personal crisis, and business isn’t your main focus. 

You, just like Alyssa can learn to find the answers within you own body so that you inner good girl allows you to have success, you over come fear of judgement and create a coaching relationship full of trust – with me – inside of Body Based Business by first booking your Embodied Sales Call. 

Inside this 30 minute call, we’ll craft your $5k Body Based Blueprint and determine whether Body Based Business is your next best investment to create a 2024 that’s more regulated and more profitable. 



TRANSCRIPT:



[00:00:00] Sheridan: Have you ever just wanted somebody to tell you that you were doing it right and this is going to be the way that you get everything that you want? I certainly have. And Alyssa, our guest, has as well. Today’s podcast is going to support you in identifying where your inner good girl might be kind of sabotaging your success, how to move through frustration after you’ve invested a lot and you feel like your business should be further along on feeling frustrated by your coach on fear of criticism, judgment, judgment, and fear of persecution, how to use your body to overcome that.


[00:00:50] What to do when you’re considering getting supported in your business, but you’re moving through a personal crisis and business perhaps isn’t your main focus. .


[00:01:00] I originally met her when I learnt and I was curious. She was a nurse. She was also a former Catholic nun and now she works as a financial, spiritual and emotional mentor supporting people in the.


[00:01:13] process and methodology, divine feminine finance. She empowers heart centered business owners to transform their relationship with money through self love, divine connection and financial education.


[00:01:24] She spends her day supporting people in connecting to an inner source of love and abundance so that they can have more money. This is, it’s very different to how she used to spend them before we started working together.


[00:01:38] was oscillating between hope and despair, excitement and frustration, um, basically the [00:02:00] rollercoaster of entrepreneurial, however you say that word, um, yeah, so I, a bit of a rollercoaster in terms of like impatience, fear of visibility, self doubt, perfectionism.


[00:02:18] Confusion. Lack of clarity about my niche. Must I go on? And so, those are all very real aspects of what I was current, at that time, currently experiencing. And it was, um, I mean, I, I, if I, like, looking back on it, I would say it’s par for the course. Like, it’s part of what, the stage I was in, on one hand. And, um, Yeah, but then it was like part of it in my case, which I, I feel is true for a lot of people who, who are starting their own business or


[00:03:00] have started their own business and then they feel like they haven’t quite found the niche that they want or the etc.


[00:03:06] And so for me, I had all these years of experience and education and wisdom and expertise, but I didn’t know how to bring it all together into a cohesive focus. Which at the moment of recording this, I feel like I’m calling it multi modality madness. And so is a way of like summarizing it. Um, and so I had this unique kind of background and I was trying to figure out a way to make it into a business and to focus it.


[00:03:38] Um, and. just for context, if you don’t mind, I’d love to briefly share about that. So, okay. So like I was a nurse initially, um, that was my original like post high school training was, um, a nursing education. So in the U S it’s called the bachelor of science and nursing. [00:04:00] And after I did that for a bit, then I decided to become a nun.


[00:04:04] And so I was a Catholic nun for 13 years. And in that I devoted myself to a mystical path. Contemplative, semi monastic fusion of silence and directing retreats and teaching people how to be mystics, basically. And I studied theology, and I went on Tibetan Buddhist retreats in Nepal, and like, all kinds, all kinds of things.


[00:04:26] And then I decided, I woke up one day and realized, I didn’t want to be a nun anymore. And so, for various reasons. Um, and when I left, I realized, what am I going to do now? So I, I’m obviously fast forwarding that story. Um, but what happened is that in that process of like asking myself this question of my original question at that moment was, how do I find a job that integrates all my knowledge and experience and passions and gifts and


[00:05:00] all of that?


[00:05:00] And, and then when I asked that question, I realized inside of me, the answer was that job doesn’t exist. I have to create it. And in that moment I decided to start my own business, even though I had no idea what that meant. Like I had, I literally had no clue. Um, and so when I met, when I met Cher, when I met you, I started, I was at this place where I had been, um, learning a lot.


[00:05:29] I’d been taking tons of courses. I’d had several different mentors, some coaches and things like that in different kind of containers. And systems. And I was trying to find the external, like I was looking for the answer in external authority. Is ultimately what was happening. And I went, because I have a long sphere, yeah.[00:06:00]


[00:06:20] Yes.


[00:06:41] Yes. Really good question. Um, so if I could describe that, um, It’s really[00:07:00]


[00:07:00] part of working with you, what, what it helped me identify was this, and in the sense that I realized that I, like that inner self or that part or whichever framework, you know, there’s different frameworks that have, you use to support people and have supported me as well as other complimentary frameworks I had used in the past.


[00:07:21] And it kind of came together when you. Um, you were helping me to like peace out what was going on, um, in different levels. And so on one level I would say before I met you, what was happening that I later identified was that I, it’s like my inner good girl that you talk about, um, occasionally and that I had known before, but the way that you integrate it with business is really helpful.


[00:07:50] And my inner good girl that. only knows how to function based on external cues. So external direction, affirmation, validation, [00:08:00] and extrinsic motivation. It, she was just screaming, will someone just tell me what to do? Like somebody just tell me what to do because that was the only way that she, that’s the way that she had learned how to orient herself in life like that.


[00:08:14] The way I look at it now is that inner good girl was my, Like on one hand from the emotional, the emotional like level and on the nervous system level, it was a survival, it was a survival skill. Like it was a coping mechanism and survival skill to be like, I just want to be safe. I just want to do the right thing in, in whatever way that meant that I would be successful.


[00:08:38] Like in a way it was a way of measuring success, but that way in the moment I decided to start my own business was a recipe for failure. And that was a total disconnect inside of me that was a constant clash, like in my nervous system, in my everything. And it was like, I realized that the entire framework that [00:09:00] I had used to navigate my life, my, my education, my success, being a straight A student and all the like other ways of measuring success.


[00:09:11] It was a disaster. Like it was a failure. And that it like flipped it, that success framework on, on its head. And so I was, the frustration that came in was, I mean, you could say it was part of the, the process of relearning and healing that kind of on a level trauma. If you want to put it, you know, depending on how you look at it.


[00:09:37] Um, where I, I realized like, oh wow, the entire compass that I’ve used to navigate. Success and achievement, it doesn’t work here, like if in my business, like it literally doesn’t work and it, it was like a stumbling block every single time I wanted to post something or, or get clarity on my niche or et cetera, X, Y, Z, [00:10:00] continue that.


[00:10:39] No, no, that’s, I, yeah. Um, I, so to describe like, The transition in, from like when, when I met you and when we started working together. Just to mention a couple more things about that because it, it is helpful I think for people to [00:11:00] understand and to connect.


[00:11:08] Yes, totally, yeah absolutely. Um, so in that, at that point when I, like going back to describing. Um, just specifically for me, what I was quote unquote, niching between or pivoting back and forth and trying to find, navigate that aspect of business at that stage was, um, I started focusing on inner wisdom, life purpose, self love, divine connection, and financial education empowerment.


[00:11:42] And so I was, I had clients, it felt a little bit all over the place and I had clients in all of these areas. Um, I was doing it all by word of mouth and I wasn’t like marketing it yet because I was just, um, exploring where I could find the most


[00:12:00] alignment, like both for myself and, and with others. And so that was like, inside of me, I knew I was like, there, I really want to bring all of this together, but I just don’t know how.


[00:12:13] And, and it, it felt, that’s why I say frustration. Cause when I met you, it was like, I. There was a bit of frustration already at that point because I was like, I, this is taking too long. This is just taking too long and I think, I think a lot of people can relate to that when you’re building a business. It just feels like it’s taking forever, especially if, depending on where you’re at, like if you’ve decided to go all in on your business or if you still have a part time job or full time job, like depending on all those decisions, you know, that like that you’re making in the process as an entrepreneur and, and so.


[00:12:48] For me, I, I was at the stage where I really wanted to go, quote unquote, go all in and just, like, focus on my business so I could build it. But because I didn’t have that clarity about my niche, that was, it was still a big


[00:13:00] frustration. It felt really slow. So, when I, like, this answers a couple other questions, but, like, I had had multiple mentors and coaches and programs like I mentioned earlier.


[00:13:16] And I’d invested a lot already in support and, and on one hand, I recognize that that like what going back to what you were asking before about how do you navigate between when I’m looking for external advice and support and when I’m like wanting an external authority to give me like I’m removing my authority to someone outside of me.


[00:13:38] And that was part of the learning process for me. That working with you helped me to begin to feel into a little bit more Because on one hand although everything I do feel that I’ve done and taken as a business Or owner so far. They’ve all had their value like


[00:14:00] they’ve all had their place But it often was a more of a masculine approach, which we need, I need that in business, especially because I tend to have a lot of more feminine aspects.


[00:14:11] And so I did need the masculine principle kind of structure and foundation. Like that’s one aspect of what I was looking for outside of me, so to speak. Um, but I also needed to build that inside of me, you know, and, and so those were some other, those are some other layers to it. And I couldn’t, like, it was very, Um, because I still couldn’t piece through that and that this is like a daily navigation.


[00:14:35] This is not like I have figured that out, but I must, yeah,


[00:14:44] yeah, exactly, exactly. But when, because of that in inner clarity that I was really like angst, like I felt this angst of wanting to find that inner clarity, like that inner alignment of like, this is it. And the 


[00:15:00] way I would describe it when I was like, I was like preparing to meet with you and have this podcast and it was really like the frustration of that inner good girl saying like, well, someone just tell me what to do.


[00:15:11] Um, and sometimes when Cher and I would meet, I don’t know if I’ve ever told it to you like this Cher, but I would get so frustrated. She would make me even more frustrated because she would be like, wait a minute. No. Okay, well, how about, what if you just, and I would be like, Can you just help me, like, write this post for Facebook?


[00:15:29] Like, I need to create my lead magnet. And she would be like, Okay, let’s back up. Like, how does it feel in your body? And I’m like, You know what? Like, I don’t even care! Just You know, like, fuck you!


[00:15:53] Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it was, there were definitely those moments


[00:16:00] and so, but the, if I could encapsulate that in a funny way, I was, when I was reflecting on this, I was like on, on the niche side of things, like, and looking for an answer and clarity and all that, I felt like I was on a wild goose chase in many moments that I just couldn’t put a name to the wild goose.


[00:16:20] Like, what the hell do I call this wild goose? If only I knew her name, I could call out to her in the darkness, and maybe she would hear me calling and come to me. And I, but it was like, I don’t know who she is. I don’t know what to call her, but I know she exists. And so it felt like this, like, unicorn, you know, niche or business or something.


[00:16:39] And,


[00:16:50] yeah. Yes. Yeah, exactly. And, um, And then one day, I remember, I was


[00:17:00] in a session with Cher, and we’d been working together for, I’m fast forwarding because now we’ve been working together for a while, um, but there was this moment where I, I had been telling her, like, when I was, I’m like, I’m talking to you and I’m talking to your audience, like you and her, and, okay,


[00:17:24] I love it. Okay, good. So you’re, you’re tracking, um, you can navigate between you and her. Um,


[00:17:35] cool. So I remember cause I’d been, I’ve been sharing with Cher multiple times about like, okay, I’m, you know, I’m working, I’m focusing on self love with this client. I’m working on inner wisdom and divine connection. And then with this client, I’m focusing on like financial empowerment and tools. to help them build a strong foundation, etc.


[00:17:56] And, in one of the sessions, support sessions [00:18:00] we had, there was this moment where she, I can’t remember, I don’t know if you remember what you asked me, but I think you asked me something like, how would you describe what you do? I,


[00:18:14] I was trying to remember exactly how, but anyways, it’s not important, it’s something around that. And, and I remember I said something like, I don’t know, it’s, I guess it’s kind of like I’m, I’m a divine feminine finance guide. And I just like blurted it out. And I was like, what was that? And your eyes just like popped open like, oh my god, like that’s it.


[00:18:43] And I was like, and you said something like, that’s it. And I was like, Part of me was like, yeah, that’s it. I found the wild goose. The unicorn has landed. But then, I immediately began to dismiss it. And I was like, no, no, no, no. What the heck is that? No, it’s not that. It’s like, I need the


[00:19:00] masculine too. I love the masculine.


[00:19:01] It’s not just the feminine. And you were like, stop. Stop. And she said to me, she was like, Can you just like back up and take a second and Like, feel into what you just said, and don’t let your mind, because it feels to me like your mind is then just, like, trying to dismiss it or something like that.


[00:19:50] Yep, back to survival mode, yeah, totally, absolutely, a thousand percent, and even like connecting that,


[00:20:00] what you just said with what we were saying before, even like the inner good girl and the survival mechanisms and the way that you talk about You know, the nervous system, um, like sabotaging our expansion and growth and that, that’s one specific kind of moment where, and there’s many, you know, as you say, but that was a big one that was like massive.


[00:20:24] And um, that was a moment where I remember it was like, okay. If I think about it now, and I can say this for people who either are currently receiving mentorship from you or are considering it or whatever, is if I hadn’t had Cher in that moment to question me and to stop me and to be like, hold your horses, like that, don’t just let your mind go off again and dismiss, you know, this, this like birthing of this


[00:21:00] new, um, what do you call it?


[00:21:02] Like, uh, A new paradigm for me, the way I call it is it’s part of a new paradigm of business where we are birthing something new. And I’m not the only one I’m birthing something new in my own way. But so many, I believe people who come to your work are people who they’re literally birthing something that has not been done before.


[00:21:23] And that’s why it’s so hard sometimes to navigate because you’re like, how do I do this? Like, I don’t have a framework that can, that works anymore. And so, I mean, I can just keep answering the questions like,[00:22:00]


[00:22:40] yeah, yeah, that’s a really, really good question. I can just say that from the time, like I am not the same person in my business anymore. Like I, if I could just say in the last two months, like I, I went from. Being 


[00:23:00] paralyzed essentially in my fear of visibility, my fear of like the perfectionism around things of like, uh, the voice that’s trying to please people, fear of criticism and persecution, all of that to now, like from that moment I described of find finding, quote unquote the clarity around my niche, um, which was ultimately a fusion of mysticism and spirituality.


[00:23:25] Self-love. Emotional work and nervous system, as well as financial empowerment. That’s my niche. My niche is divine feminine finance. And once I made once after a lot, a while of working with you found that from that moment on, I, Oh, well then I had a major life challenge that came up out of the blue, um, delayed things a little bit more, but.


[00:23:52] I had, still had your support during that time, which actually saved me in many ways. And then once I got through that a


[00:24:00] little bit, I ran my, I created and I sold and created an, a six week program. I, I managed to do that when I was going through like one of the most difficult moments of my life. And then I.


[00:24:23] Set up my first landing page. I started my email list for the first time. I learned the tech, which was always really, like, challenging. And I hadn’t wanted to make the financial commitment or merit to marry a platform until I was, like, ready to do so. And all of those, like, technical, structural things. Now I just ran my first free event, Immersion and Retreat, last week on Facebook.


[00:24:49] I’m posting more. I’m posting more. You know, all of the things that were like, I don’t know, I don’t know how to do, like, what should I do, like, all of the things, and it’s not perfect, but that’s the point, like, 


[00:25:00] the perfectionism is no longer keeping me from, from just, um, taking action and, and birthing this thing that is, I know it’s for, it’s for the good of humanity, like, it’s not, this is, it’s not about, it’s not just about me, like, it really is, It’s a massive contribution, um, for people to be empowered in this way.


[00:25:26] So yeah,

[00:26:00] [00:27:00]

[00:27:27] yeah. Um,

[00:27:33] first I would say probably something similar to what you would say because I teach people this too. First listen to your body. And that is like the first. Because all of the external things are always going to be really challenging. Um, And, if your body says yes, then


[00:28:00] move forward with it. And if you can’t find the answer, or it feels like it’s not clear, you keep doubting, then sign up.

[00:28:08] Because, because that’s what she can help you with. Like, literally. And if,


[00:28:21] Yeah, and if it’s no then it’s no obviously like but you wouldn’t really be here like if it was a total no You know, it’s just like you have to see what the timing is and all of that and it’s all of that is valid of course, but honestly, it’s the inner like the It’s Because part of the way that you approach this share is that it’s not it is about your business But obviously because it’s based on Body wisdom and embodiment and all of that.


[00:28:50] It applies to every area of life. And, and so, even if Someone is going through something really


[00:29:00] challenging. It’s one of the best ways to stay connected with their business and not completely, I don’t even have the word for how I have felt at moments where I’m like, I can’t, like, I can’t do this. I can’t do this.


[00:29:14] It’s too much. Yeah. I’m overwhelmed. Like a total overwhelmed. Like I can’t even keep it together to work on my business right now. Like if you’re experiencing that. Um, then this is one of the best kinds of support as a business owner is what I would say because there’s so many kinds of support out there in terms of coaching and business.


[00:29:38] But the best one for me when it comes to moments of crisis in life, not only business is having the embodied, um, integration and the nervous system application. Within it, uh, because we do like, especially when we’re going through a hard time. It’s a literally


[00:30:00] freak. It’s freak out time. Like it’s freak out.


[00:30:01] And so all, everything comes up and it can just be, yeah, it can be panic. There’s, yeah, there’s a lot that happens. Yeah.[00:31:00]


[00:31:12] So for me, when I, I can’t remember if I mentioned this before. Um, Um, like today on the call with you, I have, but, um, because I, I am a nurse, I studied the nervous system and so in depth, like physiology and all of that and worked with the nervous system. Right. Um, but I studied the old model, the, what I would call the old model.


[00:31:40] There’s two parts of the nervous system. There’s the sympathetic fight or flight. Freeze, fun, et cetera. And there’s the parasympathetic rest and digest. So you’re either running from a tiger or you’re sleeping in your bed at night. And there’s, what happens in between? Like what the hell happens in between?


[00:31:57] And that’s where the polyvagal theory comes in.


[00:32:00] So interestingly enough, I had, I had not long before I met you, I had actually not read but listened polyvagal theory. Um. Um. And, well, I mean, there’s now obviously many books on polyvagal theory, but I had listened to the, um, Stephen Porges. What’s his name?


[00:32:20] Oh, so bad. Porges, right? Okay, you can correct this and edit. Stephen Porges, yeah. The father, if you want to say, or whatever. Um, yes, that’s the one I’m referring to. Yeah, it’s a little bit dry. It’s very clinic it’s kind of It’s clinical. It’s a clinical approach. It’s a little dry. But. Okay. Yes. Yeah. So I had read that not long before I met you.


[00:32:57] So then when I met you and we talked about this,


[00:33:00] um, and I, I really loved that you integrated this. And I thought, okay, I’ve been taking lots of business programs. Nobody out there has talked about the polyvagal theory in business. And, and so for me it was like, Oh yeah, this is amazing. Right. This is like so cool.


[00:33:17] Um, and, and so that, that was like a personal, right. Interesting connection. And then after working with you and then working with my clients, I knew I wanted to integrate some aspect of the physical, like physiology and the nervous system because I know how important that is. Um, but I didn’t know how I was going to integrate it necessarily because I was literally doing like.


[00:33:39] Deep Inner Sanctuary Womb Work, Divine Feminine, Divine Masculine, and Financial Empowerment, you know. And so when I ended up finding that integration between these different areas into Divine Feminine Finance, it fit right in because I could support people with the awareness around their nervous system and their relationship with money.


[00:33:59] So [00:34:00] now I’m applying it in a specific area and way. Where, I mean, I don’t do it exactly like you do, but we do it very complimentary, Complimentarily, Um, Into, This, this way of really Helping to Have awareness around That Beautiful Bridge Between running from a tiger And like, being a zombie Hehehe Like, and, and to find like the, the pleasure and the joy and the ease and the nourishment and all of that in their relationship with money.[00:35:00]


[00:35:25] So I have created a program called birth a new relationship with money and that is a six week program. So I offer that if people want to have like build a foundation, but they don’t want to do something super long. That’s one option. I also do one on one work to go much deeper with people and really personalize and customize their bridge, the, how to bridge between spirituality and their relationship with money and building a strong financial foundation.


[00:35:59] You can [00:36:00] find me on Facebook. I have a Facebook group called Ember Divine Feminine Finance at the moment , I am focusing primarily on women, , in my community. If you are a man and you hear any of what we said today and you feel like I actually want to know more about that for myself.


[00:36:18] I’m happy to have a conversation with you and see how I can support you as well with this.


[00:36:33] My dear listener, you just like Alyssa can learn to find the answers within your own body so that your inner good girl allows you to have success and overcome your fear of judgment so that you can create a coaching relationship full of trust so that you can Create simple and sustainable, consistent 5k months that you can scale from inside of body based business.


[00:36:56] When you are working with me, the first step to do so is to 


[00:37:00] book your embodied sales call, where we are going to craft a four step process towards creating those sustainable 5k months. Through your own body based blueprint at the end of that call, we’re going to determine whether or not body based business, body based business is the best next investment to create a year that is more regulated and more profitable.


[00:37:23] You’ll find a link to do so down below.

[00:37:25]

[00:37:28]

 

Month: January 2024

Embodied Entrepreneur: Anxiety-Free & Profitable Business By Healing Trauma With The Nervous System By Sheridan Ruth Dec 18, 2023

Shame Is The Greatest Trap Of Easeful Entrepreneurship – Nervous System and Trauma Healing for Profitable Business

Month: January 2024

Listen Wherever You Get Your Podcasts

Shame makes business slow, less profitable and HEAVY. Until today. Today is step 1 in your journey towards more clarity, ease and intuition in business.

You’re going to walk away from this episode clear on 

  • The physical manifestation of shame you must know to bring more energy into your body, clarity to mind and profit to business 

  • The little known way shame impacts your day to day actions in business, and how it’s related to all our not-so-helpful habits such as procrastination 

  • How to know if it’s worth your time and energy to focus on shame healing this year 

 

Next Steps: 

  1. Hit subscribe and make sure you’re notified when next week’s episode on Exactly how to f*ck up shame healing  in business goes live. 

  2. Listen to How The Freeze (and Fawn) Response Sabotages Profitable Business – Poly Vagal Theory Poly Vagal Theory & Stress Relief Training https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/wTHXBtgfyGb 

 
 
TRANSCRIPT:
 
[00:00:00] Insidious, pervasive, and one of the most harmful things in our society today. Shame. Shame makes your business slow, less profitable, and heavy until we start changing it, which is exactly what you’re going to do today.
 
[00:00:20] Today is step one of your journey towards more clarity, ease, and intuition. In business as well as more profitability, you’re going to walk away from this episode, very clear on the physical manifestation of shame that you need to know in order to bring more energy into your body, clarity into your mind and profit into your business.
 
[00:00:49] The little known way that shame impacts your day to day actions in business and how it was all related to our not so helpful habits, such as procrastination. And how to know [00:01:00] if it’s actually worth your time and energy to focus on shame healing this year.
 
[00:01:05] Sometimes we think of shame as a primary emotion and in the nervous system state, what that provokes is a state of freeze. Now, if you go back and listen to the four part series that I did starting from episode 39 up until, I guess, that’s what 43.
 
[00:01:21] If you go back and listen to the last one, 43, um, we talk about the different nervous system states, but essentially quick 15 second recap when your nervous system. Perceives something as being dangerous to put you into a stress response. It’s trying to protect you. One of those stress responses is a mobilization.
 
[00:01:42] And so we commonly know it as a state of freeze. So your body kind of freezes and it’s like thinks, well, the best way I can get out of this threat is by just like freezing, blocking up, like being immobile, kind of playing dead. Right? So Shame is this primary emotion. [00:02:00] Every single human being can experience shame and it provokes inside of us a nervous system response state of freed, freeze.
 
[00:02:10] What it does is it creates this embodied, , experience, , and accompanied with a belief of something is wrong. With me, something is wrong with me. And that’s actually why we have shame. We were given, I guess, shame through our socialization process as human beings, because it. It stops us from doing things that are not supportive to society and things that we could be kind of kicked out of the tribe for.
 
[00:02:40] But we’ve, we’ve become very complex beings with complex tribes. , and our nervous system just hasn’t really caught up totally yet. And our shame response hasn’t caught up either. So. It begins to kind of leak out into different, um, activities and it kind of, it becomes insidious, 
[00:03:00] right? It leaks out and it’s very harmful because it stops us from doing things that are actually going to be very supportive to us and help us be flourishing, contributing members of society that are happy and healthy.
 
[00:03:12] It does this by putting the body into a free state and lowering our ability to think and act clearly. We’re going to go deeper into this in a moment, we’re going to look at the physical, mental and emotional and then business oriented ways that this happens. But first of all, I want to, , 
I want to, I want to touch on the fact that shame is something that we.
 
[00:03:34] Naturally want to stay very far away from our nervous system perceives it as one of the most displeasing Emotional states either within ourselves or within another person Shame is something that you may not even want to be look It might be a stretch for you to actually listen to this podcast because your body might be saying Oh what?
 
[00:03:56] Maybe you’ve had it sitting in your saved episodes for a few 
 
[00:04:00] weeks and you haven’t gotten to it yet. But here you are, congratulations, like really genuinely honour yourself because you’re here and you’re doing something that most people, um, don’t do. And You should, yeah, you’re having a lot of courage in this moment, but shame is something that we want to stay far away from and our clients want to stay far away from it.
 
[00:04:21] Next week I’m going to do a podcast. It’ll be number 78 on how shame repels our clients, but I’m mentioning it this moment because I want you to know from the beginning that it’s going to be natural if you find yourself Wanting to move away from this topic and that’s okay. Use your tools to come back slowly moving forward.
 
[00:04:44] Um, it’s a natural response and the more that we can move closer to this topic, the more that one, we actually remove shame around a lot of what we do and two, we. I have less shame about that. And we kind of take more control and regain that clarity, regain embodiment, 
 
[00:05:00] regain profit, we gain, , emotional health, regain physical health.
 
[00:05:04] So let’s look at the physical start, , side of things. As I said, we’re going to look at physical, mental, and emotional, and then business and the ways that shame will affect you so that you can start kind of self diagnosing as much as you can from a podcast, , and just seeing. Oh. Is it possible that I’m experiencing X thing and could shame actually be, um, could healing my, could healing my shame alleviate some of these more difficult symptoms?
 
[00:05:36] Let’s have a look. Shame manifests physically, somatically in the body in a couple of different ways. And there are This is a new area of research and there are a couple of different, uh, areas, or different studies, I’ll probably try and link one of the ones below that I really like, that talks about how um, You know, [00:06:00] the differences of how, how shame manifests in the body, but essentially it often appears as physical pain, pain that cannot be explained or treated, a hormonal imbalance, a disconnection from your intuition, particularly when it becomes to your own wellbeing.
 
[00:06:24] Or food. Brain fog and lightheadedness. Autoimmune conditions. You guys know I have alopecia areata, it’s an autoimmune hair loss and throughout my experiencing understanding shame and uh, like living with this and looking at different treatments and things, it has become pretty clear, at least for me, and this is not going to be for everyone, that there is an element of shame that possibly created, um, my Uh, immune flare up and led to my hair loss,
 
[00:07:00] heart palpitations, a chronic health health issue that is exacerbated or triggered by stress.
 
[00:07:08] Also hair loss, chronic fatigue, chronically stiff neck or back, particularly in the back of your heart area. Or around your jaw, constipation or diarrhea, even after making dietary changes. So a lot of people who are experiencing or suffering, um, with IBS, another physical way. And this is also mental and emotional, but I’ve taken it as physical is like being hyper aware of your body, being hyper aware of yourself.
 
[00:07:38] Do you ever have moments where you just hyper aware of the way that you’re sitting or the way that your hands are or your face or the way that you look? We then kind of swing back the other way and we go feeling really numb and disconnected. Some of my clients have described this as looking at yourself through a glass.
 
[00:07:57] I know when I was experiencing the, [00:08:00] the larger parts of my chronic post traumatic stress disorder, it was kind of like, I felt like I was witnessing myself walking instead of me being the one that was walking. It’s like you’re looking at yourself through a window in a way and you feel kind of numb and you feel like you’re not really there.
 
[00:08:18] Like this dissociation from yourself or like you can observe your thoughts and you know they’re yours, but you don’t really feel connected to them. And everything feels kind of foggy and you know, like, and you have that sometimes migraines would be associated, like everything feels foggy. Um, sometimes it feels almost like a big cloak or uniform that you can’t get out of.
 
[00:08:42] I’ve had clients describe it to me as like a big cloak that you just can’t really get out of. And I felt it in my body, almost like a zipper up uniform of like, but it’s, it doesn’t fit right. You know? Um. physically and this manifests a lot of kind of like putting your head down, [00:09:00] pulling your shoulders in, chest kind of pulls back.
 
[00:09:02] You kind of hunch a little bit. You might notice yourself like putting your, your, your gaze down. And these injuries just be small little things. Like maybe you’re looking at the ground a little bit more. , then another person and they’re very small. Maybe you notice that your shoulders kind of mine roll forward just a little bit.
 
[00:09:18] And I know that that’s shame because I know that more than I heal shame, my shoulders just like roll back a little bit. Um, and so, you know, like rolling, rolling those shoulders forward a little bit, or I’m trying to make yourself small, um, like by pulling your waist in perhaps even, um, Feeling quite stiff in your movements, or for some people that also manifest, we can go two ways.
 
[00:09:47] It can be very quick, rapid movement. Like if I move quickly, then I won’t be noticed. For some people, they’re a little bit slower. It’s like their body is fully taken down by shame. They just like kind of trudge on through, you know, [00:10:00] um, and sometimes it’s hiding face. So for some of my clients, this will manifest in business as literally wanting to not have your face.
 
[00:10:08] Uh, And this isn’t always, but a lot of the time, literally not wanting to have your face on your, um, business. And for other people, it’s kind of like they put their hands over their face or, um, they’d like to wear big glasses or they have a lot of hair in their face. Right. Whenever you’re hiding yourself.
 
[00:10:25] Mental and emotionally, the way that shame might manifest for you. It’s this essence of like, there’s heaviness. You’re slow. You doubt yourself. There’s a feeling of hopelessness. I can’t do this. I’ll never make it. I also see this a lot manifest as I need to fix something about either the process, the method that I’m using or myself.
 
[00:10:48] People who experience a lot of shame get stuck in a self development. We are constantly trying to fix something about myself, myself, ourselves.
 
[00:11:00] I do this. I’ve done this. Um, healing has made me not want to do it. And it’s been really great, but I’ve definitely been there. It’s like we’re constantly trying to fix something.
 
[00:11:10] We’re always in this self discovery. We’re always having a revelation. We’re all kind of like going forward. Um, There’s always something to fix. There’s always something to learn. There’s always like, you guys know what I’m talking about. And at the same time, um, it’s just, shame is very self oriented. Um, we it’s thinking more about you than it is about connecting with other people.
 
[00:11:35] So. We’ll skip forward a little bit, but in business that looks like thinking more about yourself and your revelations and your development and what you’re doing, what you’re not doing, being hyper aware of yourself, then being oriented towards how can I serve, how can I help and how can I solve other people’s problems?
 
[00:11:54] Entrepreneurship is about solving problems for profit in a way that supports you and
 
[00:12:00] supports embodied entrepreneurship is about. I’m supporting a society, right? So it’s like, I’m more focused on me than I am focused on. How can I solve other people’s problems? This manifests as being a perfectionist for some people.
 
[00:12:14] It’s going to manifest as, and I’m sorry, you might hate me for it, but some narcissistic qualities. This also manifests as self sabotaging manifest as worrying. Manifest as people pleasing manifest as having social anxiety and manifest as having anxiety or depression. Let’s look at some very specific scenarios.
 
[00:12:35] Let’s bring it into business. If you remember what I said earlier, I mentioned two different components, the freeze state and then the inability to think and act clearly. Let’s focus on the nervous system freeze state. The nervous system freeze state is your body’s inability to move or act against the threat.
 
[00:12:54] Then within that, we have a couple of different things that I. In 
 
[00:13:00] episode, I guess it’s 43, we’ll, we’ll go into that a little bit more, but I’m just going to read out some of the, uh, traits that I, I literally just like went on Instagram and like made a list of things that I’ve seen. And I read some of the emails and DMs that you had sent me and made a list.
 
[00:13:16] So this might be a little bit out of order, but it’s the list that I have today. So let’s have a look. Oh, let me take a sip of my coffee.
 
[00:13:32] Okay. So basically, in essence, we go into this nervous system freeze state because our body perceives that the business is actually the threat. The action, the boldness, the clarity, and the connection with other people, um, provokes a stress response inside of us, which in this case. Latches on to shame and shame latches on to you.
 
[00:13:54] Essentially we avoid work that we don’t perceive as safe or as hard to do. We struggle
 
[00:14:00] connecting with people from a relaxed, confident, and heart centered way. And we tend to have burnout, lack of creativity and lack of clients. Even if you do have clients at the moment and you’re bringing shame to it, it’s maybe 30 percent of what you could.
 
[00:14:14] So as I mentioned before, you might notice that you are in a freeze response if you notice yourself feeling like you have to consistently fix something. about yourself, you might notice that shame is affecting you and pulling you into this freeze response. If you, if you’re doubting yourself, if you’re just kind of stuck and you’re like, Oh, you know, I’ve been meaning to make this decision about what’s my offer or how am I marketing this thing?
 
[00:14:38] Or what’s the messaging that I want to have? Uh, but you can’t make a decision easily like you’ve been thinking about it for a long time and you’re kind of going, okay, well, should I say this? So maybe money should be that. It also appears in blaming, blaming the economy, blaming your health, blaming your partner, blaming your industry, blaming your coach.
 
[00:14:58] These are manifestations of shame. [00:15:00] We’re actually trying to deflect shame by blaming, they co exist. It’s also in low self esteem, and this might, there are some things that people do that show low self esteem, and I say this with love guys, and I’ve done it too, I, trust me I’ve done it, that show low self esteem, and some of these things are like, hey, you can sign up for my, for my email.
 
[00:15:24] But you can unsubscribe whenever you want. I won’t send you too many emails. This is a sign that we’re operating from the shame body. You might also have your pricing and your contracts all over place. You might be somebody who tends to what people pleasing. You might be trying to make content that people will like rather.
 
[00:15:43] Then what you want to say and feel excited to express you might, , dissociate or get really numb when you’re reading your feedback or you don’t want to ask for a testimonial because you’re scared of what they might say. You might have difficulty being coached. It might be hard for you to actually receive [00:16:00] guidance from a coach because you just kind of like freeze.
 
[00:16:02] You’re like, Oh, what? A lot of the time we say what we think people want to hear. You might have a lot of thoughts that begin with, I can’t, I can’t do that. I can’t do that. I can’t do that. I could never, I can’t. This inner critic and perfectionist part of you, there’s a lot of fear that comes up. Um, people have said to me as well, I’m reading now from things people have said to me recently, um, fear around what people will think leading to inaction, leading to not feeling present into my body, feeling like I have dizziness, um, feeling like every time I take another step of showing myself and expressing my voice and work, it feels dangerous and I want to pull back and I want to escape to the beach for three weeks.
 
[00:16:45] Feeling like. I’m stuck feeling like it isn’t working and. Then also, yeah, wanting to stop after I gain momentum. If I get too much traction in one area, I begin to feel antsy and start pulling back [00:17:00] to quote unquote regroup and figure out what to do next. This is a sign of shame. Instead of doing something, I retreat and do nothing.
 
[00:17:08] See how there’s like a lot of retreat and like avoiding? Watching a lot of Netflix and taking a pretty long time to do things like read an email from last Tuesday and send a response, taking a long time to send an invoice, or when somebody asked for an invoice, getting brain fog and not including everything that was on that invoice, or like a lot of confusion and hopelessness, getting confused about what to say in your messaging, getting confused about how to structure your launch plan, um, getting, looking at your, like a lot of Brain focus.
 
[00:17:39] Well, I noticed there’s a really common one appearing in a lot of my clients or people and listeners. I’ve heard you guys say so another one, um, would be attracting codependent coaching relationships. And what I really mean like by this is feeling that your worth is dependent on the success of your clients.
 
[00:17:58] Now it is [00:18:00] important that we understand that we are all going to be good at our jobs and we are going to make sure that people get the results that they desire. Um, And that we promise in our programs. I’m not talking about that. What I’m talking about is us having like feeling dependent, like your worth depends on how good your product is.
 
[00:18:22] There is a difference between asking. Is this product, is my work the absolute best that it can be and have I, have I delivered on what I said I would deliver versus, those are good questions to ask. We always, I ask these, I literally ask myself those questions every single day. Good questions to ask.
 
[00:18:45] Versus the question of can I make this work be as good as it can be? Am I good enough? Am I smart enough? Am I, do I have enough willpower? Do I X, Y, Z enough? Am I, am I, am I, you know, have I 
 
[00:19:00] perfected my morning routine enough for this work to be the best that it can be? Kind of like, that’s different, right?
 
[00:19:08] It’s different when it’s about have, how can this work be the best? Versus can I make this the best? Is there something wrong with me? Cause it looks easier for her and hers is better than mine. That’s different. So those are the mental and emotional things. And it kind of pulls into our second part, which is that shame lowers your ability to think and act clearly.
 
[00:19:32] And I would even add onto that with intuition, some of the best entrepreneurs in the entire world. rely on their intuition. Intuition is like a, it’s like a tap into this infinite abundance of information that our logical mind can’t comprehend, but that we know is there. And it’s, it’s just extra information.
 
[00:19:53] That’s, it’s like this little secrets, like secrets the world has that we just don’t have yet. When we take [00:20:00] in, um, when we think. Clearly. And we act clearly and we are in touch with our intuition. That’s when magic literally happens. That’s when things are so easy. That’s when you make more money. Um, that’s when you like, it just, Oh, everything just flows.
 
[00:20:15] It’s just so juicy. You guys don’t want to talk. I hope, tell me if you don’t know what I’m talking about. I want you to know what I’m talking about. That’s why we’re here, right? So because your body is in a stress state, energy is going to the behaviors that it thinks is going to help you perfectionism.
 
[00:20:31] Worrying about yourself, thinking about yourself, fixing yourself, blaming other people, um, hiding, eating food, watching Netflix, doing a lot of energy is going to those things, which means that energy is not going to your capacity to share creatively, to stand out, to do your best work, to connect with your intuition, um, to find more ease, to find more pleasure, to feel safer.
 
[00:20:57] And. So energy is going to these [00:21:00] actions that keep you where you are because your body thinks because it’s scared and it’s in a free state, it thinks that staying where you are as still as you can and as small as you can is going to keep you safe. Your energy is going to that right now. It’s not going to, how can I send out more?
 
[00:21:19] How can I be more effective? How can I be more creative? How can I make this easier? How can this be more profitable? How can I serve more? Those latter questions are what make business, like that’s, that’s how you, that’s how you make a business that supports you. That’s how you become successful in entrepreneurship in that you’re.
 
[00:21:40] business is making a profit that increases every month is consistent and is sustainable. So tangibly, some of the ways that I’ve seen this in the past couple of weeks is you might be asking yourself something along the lines of, I don’t want to [00:22:00] be in the coaching industry, but I’m not really sure what I want my product to be.
 
[00:22:03] But like I could do coaching, but I don’t, I’m not really sure what I want to niche or what the product might be. Because I don’t really know. I’m not really sure. I kind of like this thing, but I kind of like this other thing and like, how would I bring them all together? Shame takes us into inaction or hopelessness or both and finding a solution can take literally months and some of you, it’s going to have to take, it’s going to be a year process thing at the, at this point.
 
[00:22:33] So. When we bring and we look at it from a place of regulation or a place without shame, shamelessness, what we have is, oh, okay, so I don’t want to do coaching. I’ve got this product. I’ve got this experience. Cool. Let’s look at all that. Big picture view. Amazing. Cool. Awesome. Yep. Okay. Now we can do this thing.
 
[00:22:54] Here’s a solution because you access this analytical and creative thinking. And you develop this [00:23:00] really cool, really amazing product that the industry has never seen before and you are now a pioneer, and everyone wants to work with you. Good work! Yay! Another one that comes up is, is like, you know, I don’t know, like you’re trying to get your reels perfect or figure out the correct Schedule, um, or maybe you’re not posting at all.
 
[00:23:18] And so shame often takes you into hopelessness and confusion. And it’s like, Oh, is this the exact spell sheet? And like, is this the right hook? Can I need to do another course? And have I used the right thing? And I’m getting really frustrated now because the text doesn’t align and I don’t know what photo I want to use.
 
[00:23:32] And maybe I should get an assistant regulation. Shamelessness creates a solution in a few minutes because you access analytical and creative thinking. So you kind of say, all right, cool. Here’s what I don’t want to do. Here’s what I do want to do. Here are the tools that I have. Hmm. I’m going to use my notes app.
 
[00:23:49] I’m going to make it, , I’m not going to use this other app. I’m going to use this app. I’m going to make it really fun. Oh, maybe I need, I do need support. So I’m going to join a membership of something, or 
 
[00:24:00] I’m just going to ask my coach to something that I’ve. So I will love to do with my clients is like, they’ll make something and they’re like, no, I really do need a little bit of creative feedback on this.
 
[00:24:09] So, so I’ll give it, they’ll give it to me and I’ll, I’ll have a look at their content and provide some feedback. And so they’re like, okay, cool. And now we’re moving forward. We have some feedback. Maybe we make it funny. Maybe we, um, instead of trying to follow all of the copywriting rules, maybe we just speak to somebody, like they were literally in front of us.
 
[00:24:29] and It just gets to be yours and you just, and you create it and because it comes from you so easily, not only is it more sustainable, but people feel that and they resonate with it. It, you, we talk so much online about like being authentic, well, being authentic isn’t trying to manipulate authenticity and post videos of you crying on the internet because apparently it’s authentic.
 
[00:24:55] It’s actually being authentic. It’s actually sharing what you think in the moments that you think it. [00:25:00] That’s what it is. In the ways you think it, for some of you, that’s gonna be making really aesthetic things, and for some of you, it’s, it’s not gonna be making aesthetic things and that’s the correct way to do it.
 
[00:25:10] So in essence, being in being an embodied entrepreneur and being in business, when you are not operating from shame, when your shame body is so low at. I would never say that we can completely get rid of it. I’ll do another podcast episode on that. Um, nor would we want to, but when your shame body, maybe we’re at an 80% right now, maybe we can take it down to 13%.
 
[00:25:37] When your shame body’s operating at, you know, eight or 13%, what you are experiencing is so much more clarity, so much more focus, so much more resilience. You’re way more productive. You can actually do that four hour work week. Um. You can manage the stress and uncertainty of being entrepreneur, of having inconsistent income, of, a guy asked me yesterday, he’s like, Oh, [00:26:00] don’t you ever get worried about, about clients coming?
 
[00:26:02] And I was like, no, I know they’re going to come. They’re always coming. You can be, you can have that approach. I was like, yeah, I know it’s coming. It’s always coming. You can make decisions with discernment. You can maintain healthy coaching relationships, um, or healthy client relationships. You can maintain healthy relationships with your loved ones, with your audience, um, with your service providers, or, like, you know, your accountant, your bookkeeper, your, like, who else?
 
[00:26:29] Like, your assistant, right? You have positive emotions 80 percent of the time. You feel really at ease in your emotions 80 percent of the time, you smile more than you frown. You have an inner vitality and energy inside. You have physical energy. You look forward to going and moving your body. You’re creative.
 
[00:26:48] Everything is a, Oh, what’s next? Oh, how fun. Oh, let’s go. It’s this energy of feeling like you can take on the world and that you are fully supported. And it doesn’t mean, of course, you’re going to have some setbacks every now and again. We all do, [00:27:00] but you’re good. You’re happy. You’re excited. People gravitate to you.
 
[00:27:04] You’re solution oriented. Physically, you, your pain is not, there is very little pain in your life and the pain that is there, there’s a clear connection with what causes this and how do I fix it? You have better sex, you have good intimacy, sailors are just conversations. Sales are so easy. Sales are just like talking with old friends.
 
[00:27:28] It’s like there’s no charge around money. Marketing is, you know, something that you show up for, you do the task, you move on, you make it fun. Like it’s just easy. Everything is also quite a lot more intuitive and you can make decisions with Quickly, without second guessing yourself and everything happens, everything happens quickly because we’re, we’re now entering into that flow state.
 
[00:27:51] Um, and we’re more action oriented and we’re more solution oriented. So we provide better solutions to other people. They pay us more money for it and we [00:28:00] move quickly. You get to become a leader, you get to become a pioneer. You get to move quickly, you get to be astounded. Things come to you more quick.
 
[00:28:10] That my biggest theme over this past six months is just allowing it to be easy because I’ve wanted something and then like, it just happens and I’m like, okay, wow. How did this happen so quickly and so easily? This is insane. Um, and it’s, no, it’s no surprise that, you know, 12 months ago. 12 months before all of this was happening, I was doing a lot of really deep shame work.
 
[00:28:32] It’s no surprise. It is a direct result. So doesn’t that sound fun? Aren’t you here for that? I hope you are. We’re going to be diving into the topic of shame, um, in its different manifestations and how to heal it over this next couple of coming weeks. I have some really, I have really awesome. , offerings coming out, uh, yeah, let’s, let’s talk about it with something called shameless sales, which is going to be a group program and an online event
 
[00:29:00] called unapologetic offer creation, which you are going to want to hear more about.
 
[00:29:03] I’m working on that at the moment. What I’m going to invite you to work on is coming into. Check in on Thursday when we have the next episode come out, we’re going to look at the biggest way that people fuck up shame healing.
 
[00:29:18] And I’m saying that word and I mean with a big F and it’s a harsh word because it is a problem it hurts people. And I would like us to stop it. We’re going to look at how to heal shame and what not to do on Thursday . I love you. Thank you for this thing.
 
[00:29:33] Speak soon.

Surprising Challenges and MUST READ Books For Profitable, Anxiety-Free Business on Polyvagal Theory, Nervous System Regulation, Trauma Healing and Stress Relief

Month: January 2024

Listen Wherever You Get Your Podcasts

By the end of this podcast, you’ll discover:

 

  • 17 surprising challenges you face when building a profitable, anxiety free business challenges and  the best books to read to overcome them 

In this episode, you’ll discover:

  • The book you can read this weekend that saved me from chronic PTSD when nothing else was working 

  • The shocking effect of emotions on burnout, stress and your overall well being

  • How to pick business books to read, that will ACTUALLY get you closer to your goals instead of just wasting time and energy 

Listen to the episode to learn the challenges, and then once you know which book corresponds to your challenge you can pick the book. The titles are listed below to make it a little easier to search for when shopping. 

  1. The Compound Effect – Darren Hardy Main challenge: 

  2. The Big Leap – Gay Hendricks

  3. Anchored – How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory –  Deb A. Dana

  4. The Body Keeps The Score  – Bessel van der Kolk

  5. Happy Healthy Sexy  – Katie Silcox 

  6. Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle – Amelia Nagoski

  7. The Biology Of Belief: Unleashing The Power Of Consciousness, Matter And Miracles – Bruce H. Lipton

  8. You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For – Richard Schwartz 

  9. The Power of Focus – Jack Canfield  — Dhyana 

  10. The Red Tent by Anita Diamant

  11. Textbook of Ayurveda by Dr Vasant Lad | Volume 1

  12. Non Violent Communication – Marshall Rosenburg

  13. Atomic Habits – James Clear 

Tell me what you’re reading on Instagram! 

www.instagram.com/_sheridanruth_ 

 

TRANSCRIPT:

[00:00:00 ]By the end of this episode, you will discover the 17 surprising challenges each person faces when building a profitable anxiety free business and the corresponding book recommendation I have for you to read depending on which one you’re currently overcoming. [00:00:17] You’re about to discover a book that you can read this weekend that saved me when I was in the depth of my chronic PTSD and nothing else was working the shocking effect of emotions on burnout stress and your overall well being and my little secret to maintaining a business that works and moving focusedly towards your goals instead of just running your wheels and wasting time and energy [00:00:56] I’m sitting here with you Hot chocolate and it’s really, [00:01:00] really yummy. And I’m really excited to get into these. This summer for me has involved a lot of book reading, which has been really, really cool. And it’s also led to, , you guys actually asking me for some guidance around books. Disclaimer, my work is really about the importance of embodiment. [00:01:18] I actually started making this. [00:01:20] List just because I had a couple of you asking for like a book list and then I was looking through some of the book recommendations I had and I thought it would be helpful to correspond them to like a why you would read each book or what each book is going to help you with specifically what challenge you might be experiencing that will help, you know, if this is a good book to put your energy into and to prioritize. [00:01:42] So I’ve written down the challenges and they’re in no particular order. Let’s just get into it, hey? So, challenge number one, not knowing where to focus. Now, there’s this, um, like energy, there’s this concept in [00:02:00] yoga therapy, and the word is dharana, dharana, dharana, should I say that correctly? Dharana in Sanskrit, and it means focus, so it means single pointed attention, and focus is such an important thing. [00:02:14] You’ll see I speak about it a lot, , when you’re working with me. In that we need to kind of focus one on one thing or a few things at a time in order to see change. So in yogic philosophy, in the way that I’ve experienced the, the actual experience of this, this single point of focus, when you focus so much on one thing, what seems to happen is things. [00:02:40] So that you achieve, or you’re kind of magnetized towards this one thing. It’s like, you’d be kind of enter into this little vortex and you’re pulled towards this one thing. And a lot of us have this, the problem of the challenge that we enter is I don’t know where to focus. Where do I put my time? What do I do? [00:02:57] What do I focus on? And so if [00:03:00] you’re asking yourself this question of like, I don’t know where to focus, I actually want to encourage you to read the. Book the power of focus by Jack Canfield. And it’s going to be more clear to you at the end of the book. Why I’m going to recommend that you read this book. [00:03:17] But if you’re asking your question, I don’t know where to focus. I want you to read the power of focus by Jack and maybe. Yeah, I’m going to let that one be a little bit mysterious as to why, cause it seems almost like a little bit counterintuitive. , you probably want me to just tell you where to focus, right? [00:03:33] No, I’m going to ask you to read the power. , focus, and then come back to that same question. I know the challenge that a lot of people face and that I’ve certainly faced in the past, or sometimes still pretty regularly, to be honest, is. Not knowing if it is enough not knowing if what I’m doing is enough if you are sitting and you’re like I don’t know if this is enough. [00:03:55] I don’t know if this is enough. I don’t know if this is enough or You’re not sure [00:04:00] what is going to be enough I want you to read the compound effect by Darren Hardy the compound effect Completely changed the way that I see so many different things in my life I think a part of me was already living according to these philosophies. [00:04:12] Maybe it’s because I’m a projector in human design I don’t know but Yeah, go ahead and read the compound effect because It’s going to help you have a real deep sense of, well, what is enough and what isn’t enough. And it’s going to bring you more confidence and ease at the end of your day to be able to say, yes, this was enough or no, it actually did need to be a little bit more or a little bit different. [00:04:38] The third challenge that you might be experiencing is maybe some anxiety or you have a lot of like, this is the slightly different. The third challenge you might be experiencing is. That you’re having a lot of worry and concern and anxiety or like unexpected things happen. It feels like you just can’t get ahead. [00:04:58] It feels like as soon as things [00:05:00] start happening, you’re really worried about it, you’re self critical or some drama happens, like it just feels like you can’t get ahead. If it feels like you can’t get ahead, I want you to read The Big Leap by Gay Hendrix. That is a book that I have. Recommended quite a few times, um, that we have numerous podcast episodes on it. [00:05:22] Um, number 66, I think is how to prime your nervous system for more success. And I referenced this book. I want you to read, if it feels like you can’t get ahead, I want you to read the big leap by Gay Hendricks. The next one, number four, the challenge you might be experiencing is a lot of anxiety, depression, and self criticism. [00:05:42] Or like maybe possibly some complex PTSD, such as what I’ve experienced, a lot of relational trauma. I want you to read Anchored, How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana. This is for you [00:06:00] if you just, you haven’t a bit of, you’re struggling a little bit, um, there’s a lot of pain inside, um, you’re having thoughts that are uncomfortable and maybe you’re tired and you don’t really know what to do. [00:06:16] And it feels like it might be even a little bit bigger than you sometimes. So I’m recommending anchored, how to prevent your nervous system using polyvagal theory by Deb Dana, because when I was really healing my complex PTSD, , Deb Dana’s work was a big lifesaver. I really like the way that she relates to polyvagal theory. [00:06:36] She is not. Like the founder of polyvagal theory, , Stephen Porges is, and he does have a book on called, I think, polyvagal theory, which is a wonderful book. However, I really appreciate Deb Dana’s approach to it. I think she is very nurturing, very nourishing. Um, and That nourishing element is really nice when you’re healing this type of thing. [00:06:58] So go ahead and read Anchored, How to [00:07:00] Prevent Your Nervous System using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana. Now, if you’re experiencing a lot of repeating patterns and thoughts that harm you, and especially if you’re a little bit more new to the embodiment and somatic world, you absolutely have to read Body. [00:07:16] The Body Keeps the Score by Vessel van der Kolk. The Body Keeps the Score is a classic, it’s a must read. If you haven’t read it, you need to go and read it. Every single person on the world needs to read this book. It is going to explain to you essentially how the body keeps a score and how working with the body is going to change the way that you experience your world. [00:07:38] If the challenge you are experiencing is a lack of Like, it’s like this lack of libido, lack of creative energy, kind of feeling like you’re pulling from a well of nothing. Maybe you’re actually experiencing some physical, um, discomfort, heartburn, IBS, constipation, headaches, migraines, dry skin, eczema. If you’re just feeling [00:08:00] really bleh, like bleh. [00:08:04] I would really encourage that you read Happy, Healthy, Sexy by Katie Silcox. Katie Silcox is the person that I learned Ayurveda through and this is the first book that I read of her work. It’s a really awesome book. It’s going to give you an insight into your nervous system and your body. It’s kind of the, the Ayurveda is the backdoor of nervous system work that I like to use. [00:08:25] Um, so go ahead and read Happy, Healthy, Sexy. She has recipes in there. She has meditations in there. Um, and she has theory in there. She has education. She has personal stories. It’s just, it’s a vibe. It’s, it’s an awesome, awesome book. I highly recommend it. You’re going to walk away feeling happier, healthier, and sexier, even if you’re a boy, but it’s kind of written more for women. [00:08:43] But yeah, the other one that I recommend, especially as Ayurveda is your thing is actually the textbook of Ayurveda by Dr. Vasant Ladh. Volume 1. Volume 2 is really great, but you need to read Volume 1 first. This textbook is actually what I used [00:09:00] to study Araveda and it’s a little bit complex, but Dr. [00:09:03] Ladd has this poetic way of writing about elements and philosophy and the body in such a way that it’s actually really easy to understand and he makes the body just feel like a poem that is rolling off of your lips. . Oh, it’s a really, you know, I keep it, I have a copy on with me at all times. If you’ve ever been in my office or in my bedroom, you’ve seen the big yellow book. [00:09:26] I reference it. I love it. Um, It’s really, really beautiful. I’ve literally lugged this book around this big textbook around so many different countries. It’s a, it’s a great book for understanding your body and understanding how to nurture your body so that it can do more of what you want to do in your life. [00:09:46] Okay. Saying that if your other challenge is that you’re just feeling burnt out, you’re burnt out, burnt out, burnt out, or you know that you have tendencies to burn out. Um, and particularly if you’re doing. A lot. I would say this, [00:10:00] especially for people who are possibly listening and working like a nine to five job or that you have a lot on your plate, maybe you’re studying something like that. [00:10:10] I would really recommend that you, what you read the book, I listened to this book, but you read or listen to the book, burnout, the secret to unlocking the stress cycle by Amelia Nagoski. This is a really wonderful book that really does a great job explaining burnout and how we need to work with our emotions to avoid it. [00:10:34] You guys know a lot of the work that I do is around emotions. My clients access a tool which is called the Emotional Alchemy Tool and we do this because it is the key to our success. Unlocking the stress cycle and avoiding burnout. Amelia Nagoski and her co writer, I think, or co study, she did studies with or something, also have a wonderful podcast episode with Brené Brown. [00:10:59] If you [00:11:00] Google Brené Brown burnout interview, you’ll probably find it. I think it’s, it’s longer, but it’s really worth the listen. The next challenge is not knowing how to make sustainable change and doubting the science behind the recommendations that the coaching industry actually has for you. So there’s two things here, not knowing how to make sustainable change, and then when people recommend to you, Oh, you do it like this, actually doubting the science, basically doubting and say, like, does this stuff work? [00:11:32] You’re going to go ahead and read The Biology of Belief, Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter, and Miracles by Bruce Lipton. This is a classic book. I think it was published about 20 years ago if I’m completely honest. I think I have the 20th. Version, like edition or something, but let me honest with you, I haven’t finished it. [00:11:54] I think I’m about 10, I’ve got 10 percent to go. It’s an amazing book. , I’ve been reading [00:12:00] it slowly because I really like for the science to kind of drip down into my brain. That’s how I read more science oriented books, but it’s, I would highly recommend it. If you want to make some really sustainable changes, understanding the biology of belief. [00:12:15] And especially if you just like me really like we, we want to understand the science behind these things before we. Put our energy and effort into them. Right. So I would recommend that. And I would also recommend atomic habits by James clear. This is a great book. You’ve heard this stuff before, but you know what I didn’t, I haven’t actually read it. [00:12:38] You know what I did? I went on YouTube and I wrote down atomic habits, James clear summary. There’s a 25 minute video. I couldn’t, I haven’t. I won’t link it because I’m lazy. Go and do that on YouTube if you don’t want to take the time to read the book. It’ll take you 25 minutes. He has like an illustration. [00:12:54] He does an awesome job of explaining the book. It’s amazing. Atomic Habits by James Clear. All of [00:13:00] his stuff is pretty intuitive. I use all of the hacks with my clients to help them create more habits. And It’s really good to have somebody share it with you. So don’t be like, Oh, I already know this stuff. [00:13:11] No, go and listen to the book, go and read the book, go and watch the YouTube video. It’s going to help you. If your challenge is that you’re struggling a little bit more with relationships and connections, either that be in your personal life, familiar life, romantic life, or sales and marketing. I’m going to go recommend this is an under recommended book. [00:13:31] This book is by Richard Schwartz, who is, I guess, the founder of internal family systems, which is a therapeutic method of, , yes, it’s a, it’s a therapeutic method to help people with mental health issues and trauma. . I use it a lot inside of my work. If you’re familiar with it, you’ll see where it pops up, but Richard Schwartz has written a couple of books and he has a really famous one called no bad parts, which I think is more popular. [00:13:57] However, I think one of his. [00:14:00] This is an earlier book that he has it’s called you are the one that you’ve been waiting for and it is one of the best books that I think that I’ve read on relationships because of the way that he clearly articulates how it is that we kind of, , interact with each other and what’s actually happening when we having these different, , it’s like if we’re all jigsaw puzzles, how we all fit together and how to change the way that you relate with yourself so that you can fit together with other people in more Nourishing, uh, ways in ways that you feel more confident about, you feel more comfortable with. [00:14:33] So you are the one you’ve been waiting for, for by Richard Schwartz, as well as Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. This is a basic communication book. It’s kind of like level one of going from not so great education and communication to really amazing communication. And I’m going to challenge you. [00:14:55] And if you think that you’re further up in your communication is relatively okay, I still am going [00:15:00] to encourage you to read this book. I actually try to return to it once a year. I read it every year because it helps no matter where you are. It, you know, he’s done a lot of work around, um, negotiation and, and like. [00:15:12] Peace negotiation, as well as interpersonal. He’s worked in high schools. This is going to help you professionally and personally. And I think we can all benefit from reading this book quite regularly. It’s also really good when you go home and spend time with your family. Now the last challenge that I have, um, that I noticed a lot of people go through is, um, One that’s more exclusively towards females, uh, and it’s hormonals, hormonal ups and downs. [00:15:43] I don’t know about you, but I’ve noticed that. Sometimes I, you know, like it’ll be a couple of days after my period, like after my period ended. So I’m like, yes, that’s it. I can take on the world. And then I’m ovulating. I’m like, Oh my God. Yes. And then I’m getting towards the end of my period. [00:16:00] And I, like in my luteal phase, I’m so mean to myself. [00:16:03] I’m so mean to myself. Um, and my brain’s ability to do different tasks is really different during different times of the month, even when I wasn’t regular. Um, even when I didn’t have a regular period, but, and so it’s true, even if you don’t have a regular period, you’re probably working with the moon cycle. [00:16:21] Your brain just works differently. And the amount of like mental energy it requires to do one thing one day is going to be different to doing that same thing three weeks later. So. Um, using your hormones, um, to actually structure your month. If you’re not already doing this as a woman, you need to start immediately when I’m working with clients, we have a Excel spreadsheet and a PDF that tells us exactly what to do each day. [00:16:50] Um. Well, each week, which is very, very helpful. And I remember reading a book about this and following its instructions to help get my period [00:17:00] more regular back. What was that? That was right after my ex husband passed away, I decided that I wanted to do that type of thing. And so that would have been 2018. [00:17:12] And so I actually don’t remember the book. Uh, this was actually, this was also what I was in that big fog of. Um, trauma, and I don’t remember a lot of that year. I don’t remember that book. Um, but I am going to recommend another one. I haven’t read it. I just Googled it. You can start here. See if you want to read it. [00:17:30] It’s called period power, period power, harness your hormones and get your cycle working for you by Macy Hill. That would be a book that I think would be a good place to start one book that I did read a little bit later on that is very good for you. Indirectly linked is called The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. [00:17:50] It’s a beautiful book. It’s a fiction book. Um, and it follows the story of a woman, I think, back all the way in Egypt. Back, back, back, back, back, back, back in the old days. [00:18:00] And she would bleed in the red tent. And it was a very It was a very empowering book. It’s a beautiful story. I don’t read a lot of fiction, but I felt that it was a beautiful way to bring a lot of reverence back to our body cycles back to women. [00:18:16] Um, and yeah, just kind of let yourself get lost in a story that is enforcing a positive image around womanhood to you. So that’s really beautiful. So go ahead and. Read these books. I’m really looking forward to hearing what you think of them. So pick one. Let me know by messaging me on Instagram, which one you are picking. [00:18:42] And you know what would also be cool? Let me know what, what, what are the books that you’ve enjoyed? I, I want to hear from you. I want to talk to you. What are the books that you’ve enjoyed that you would recommend? Um, maybe I’ve read them and I can add to this list and maybe I, and I’ve just forgotten about them. [00:18:57] Maybe I haven’t and we can [00:19:00] Make a bigger list for the rest of the community. Let me know your thoughts. I want to know what are you reading? Why do you love it? And what are you going to read this year? I look forward to hearing from you.

The Nervous System Response Holding You Back from Profitable, Anxiety-Free Business and Money Neutrality – Somatic Attachment and Trauma Healing 

Mindset work isn’t enough – nor is education. And it certainly isn’t just about willpower and the correct budgeting app. Money represents our most primal survival needs and therefore becomes inherently activating to the nervous system.

In this episode you’ll learn : 

  • The KEY to making mindset work and budgeting effective in increasing income 
  • The secret behind feeling confident enough to execute your business ideas, without worrying about where your next client is coming from. 
  • How to neutralise, once and for all your deep seated , push-pull relationships with money 

 

Become Financially Fierce Today.

 

This is THE can’t miss training for ALL people who desire to make intelligent decisions about their finances, career and business.

 

Only available until January 19 2pm EST. 

 

In Financially Fierce you will learn to  hold, receive and circulate more money in a shame-free way that respects financial trauma, heals multi-generational patterns of scarcity, allows you to FEEL in control of your finances and smiles when you think about spending your overflow. 

 

 Use the link below to access this nervous ystem training and embodiment practice. 

www.sheridanruth.com/financially-fierce 

 

 

TRANSCRIPT:

 

[00:00:00] Money represents our most primal survival needs and is therefore inherently activating to the nervous system. Mindset work is not enough to heal and change your relationship with money, nor is education. And it certainly isn’t about willpower or finding the correct budgeting app. In today’s episode, you’re going to learn the key to making your mindset work, actually work and how to be effective in increasing your income. You’re going to learn the secret behind feeling confident enough to execute your business ideas without worrying about where to get your next client and how to neutralize once and for all your deep seated push pull relationship with money.

 

[00:00:53] Then I’m going to share with you a time sensitive invitation. That is going to help

 

[00:01:00] you use the intelligence of your body to hold. Receive and circulate more money in a shame free way that respects financial trauma, kills multi generational patterns of scarcity, and allows you to really feel in control of your finances and smiling when you think about spending your on your overflow.

 

[00:01:20] This is the nervous system foundation that every entrepreneur needs to make intelligent business decisions about their finances, career and business. So let’s dive in. I think it’s necessary for me to actually share with you my story about where this came from. So I’m going to take you back to a moment in my life where I had recently completed an additional traumatic trauma therapy training.

 

[00:01:47] And so it was, those practices were kind of on my mind. And, uh, At the same time, I was probably more financially abundant than I had been in a really, really long time

 

[00:02:00] and thanks for. I was, I was feeling an inner conflict, right? So feeling inner conflict, et cetera. And so I took myself to my bed as I do to do some processing.

 

[00:02:16] So I was laying and I remember it very clearly on my yellow, uh, doona cover. And I could see the mountains of managing Columbia outside of me. And it was beautiful. All I could feel was this. Deep, deep, deep pounding and tension in my chest of anxiety. My thoughts were running wild in my head. I couldn’t keep up with them quick enough to even begin really journal.

 

[00:02:42] And I noticed that as I thought about my budget, as I thought about my income, as I thought about work, I kept feeling. This visceral sensation inside that money was going to abandon me and I would look into

 

[00:03:00] it and I did some kind of inquiry around it and it felt so similar to this fear that, that men would abandon me, that my dad would abandon me, that my dad, money, that my dad would leave.

 

[00:03:17] And so I, Wanting to distract myself from this feeling that something would leave me, I opened my bank’s app and I, I saw my savings account and it had the right amount of zeros in it. Like the number was correct. It was the goal that I had. And it was a really healthy number in my savings account. I’d worked very hard to create that number and I knew that I had rent paid.

 

[00:03:43] I knew that my basic needs were met and everything was okay, but yet I couldn’t stop feeling so. anxious about money. I felt as anxious about money in that moment, um, that I did when I was a broke hippie backpacking through South America, sleeping on

 

[00:04:00] bunk beds with bed bugs, um, and in questionable dorm rooms.

 

[00:04:03] And I noticed that no matter how hard I worked and no matter what the numbers did and how much I achieved, this anxiety never left me. At the time I was working Mostly as a relationship therapist, helping people with disorganized and anxious and avoidant attachment styles. And I could see, I found by working with my clients that their anxious avoidant attachment styles in their relationships were mirrored in their relationship with money.

 

[00:04:37] I would sit. Um, on zoom and I would listen to my clients tell me about how many would just slip through their fingers. They had no idea how they spent so much, or I never want to look at my bank balance. I don’t want to worry about money or I never look at my bank balance. I can’t tell you how much is in there.

 

[00:04:57] I saw this pattern in my clients. Over and over again,

 

[00:05:00] and I was seeing it in myself. And so knowing that sometimes my, my mind kind of goes back to my clients and goes to work to distract me from the things that I’m feeling inside. I fixated back on myself and my path. I figured that because I personally had gone from a very disorganized.

 

[00:05:21] Attachment to every man that had ever entered my life up until that moment to a very secure, safe, loving relationship and loving, um, secure relationship with myself, um, with my partner, with my friends, I knew what I, I’d healed this disorganized attachment into a secure and safe attachment. And additionally, I had this full time job.

 

[00:05:49] Everything was thriving. I’d healed this deep pain inside. And so I was positive that I could also heal this anxious avoidant. Awkward money dance that I was in, [00:06:00] but I’m a somatic trauma therapist. And I knew that this cannot be fixed. I knew this couldn’t be fixed by another book or about abundance or like a perfectly formatted spreadsheet.

 

[00:06:10] , I think you know that as well. I tried the books. I tried the podcast. I tried the perfectly formatted spreadsheet. I tried working really hard. I tried not working. I had done it. I knew that this. Deep seated push pull relationship with money that felt like a combination of love and hate and disgust lay so much deeper than my brain.

 

[00:06:33] I knew it was laying, lying in my bones. I knew it was lying in my breath. I knew it was lining in my tissue. I could feel it in my nervous system. And that is what made it so confusing and difficult to, to change. That’s why the tools that I’d used up until this moment weren’t feeling effective. That’s why, It felt like I could never really think clearly.

 

[00:06:55] That’s why I had such a visceral fear around the decisions that I was

 

[00:07:00] making in my business. And I was finding myself in people pleasing and codependency and, , Wanting to hoard and save money, but also wanting it to be gone, right? And like wanting to spend it and feeling like I didn’t really deserve it.

 

[00:07:13] It’s why I was undercharging. It’s all of these things. So I did what I do and I kind of twisted in my somatic practice and my embodiment and I kind of began untangling my thoughts, seeing all of these tools and I felt myself dismantling and reconstructing in my body, in my bones, in my breath. I did this over and over again.

 

[00:07:43] Until I forgot about it. And then one day I was, , making a large amount of purchases to a couple of different, , women led businesses, local women led businesses that I really enjoy, enjoyed supporting when I was living in Beijing. I

 

[00:08:00] was purchasing like this perfect sourdough bread. I was making a donation.

 

[00:08:05] I was You know, getting a massage. I was investing in education and I realized, Oh my God, it has been months since my last freak out about money. Months. Money felt so neutral and innocent to fund to receive. And, and to receive and to share and work felt innocent and fun work felt curious. I was no longer getting anxious at the end of my sales calls, you know, I was so, and I, and it felt so playful that when I went in and I had another look at my bank account, I was really surprised to see that the numbers were consistently growing.

 

[00:08:46] I actually had to recount them. I was like, wait a second, that doesn’t make sense. How can it be this easy? And I think that that’s when I realized that not only does this somatic approach work for what I’m about to share with you, the specific

 

[00:09:00] practice that I’m going to share with you, but it doesn’t require feeling deprived.

 

[00:09:04] It doesn’t require buying into this idea of like make money while you sleep, bro scheme. Or doing crypto or even learning about the stock market. If you’re not into that, it doesn’t require all of this boring, restrictive stuff that makes my shoulders pull in and myself feel like I’m in a cage. It doesn’t require meticulously, um, looking at all of my purchases and, you know, stuff that.

 

[00:09:31] Is supportive for some people, but certainly wasn’t for me. It’s not necessary unless you really desire it. It’s about creating this safe, secure, and fun relationship that is your birthright. Now, last year I was invited to share this wisdom and now you today, this year, right now are invited.

 

[00:10:00] I have tested this practice and it’s accompanying training and embodiment practice on myself.

 

[00:10:09] I have tested it on my friends. I have tested it on my clients and I’ve tested it on people who have gone through the specific Two part training that I’m about to share with you. From these tests, there is a foundational curriculum and embodiment practice that has come out of it that has collectively helped us double our income month over month, receive raises in jobs without like biting your cheek or biting their cheek in nervousness is the way that this particular individual described it.

 

[00:10:41] And it’s allowed us all to Increase our income, feel comfortable circulating money, feel comfortable holding money, receive more money without working and constructing jobs or succumbing to busyness and overwhelm of life’s roller coasters or being meticulous about

 

[00:11:00] budgeting. This is not a get rich quick process.

 

[00:11:04] I want to clear that up. This is not about making money in your sleep. This is about getting really damn fierce with your money. And allowing your nervous system to expand so that you can receive so that you can circulate with ease so that you can hold more money because yes, you will receive more and yes, you will finally feel confident enough to execute your business ideas without worrying about where your next client is coming from.

 

[00:11:37] You’re also going to share more with the companies and charities that you’re passionate about. But in my opinion, most importantly, you’re going to have more evenings where you are laid back, shoulders down, breathing deeply, feeling that deep nourishment and softened jaw that is only available when you, when you, when you trust and you feel

 

[00:12:00] safe through any financial challenge, through any recession.

 

[00:12:06] So, inside of financial affairs, which is the invitation, the time sensitive invitation I’m sharing with you, you are going to learn to hold, receive and circulate more money in a shame free way that respects your financial trauma, that heals multi generational patterns of scarcity, that allows you to really feel in control of your finances.

 

[00:12:29] It gets you smiling when you think about spending all the overflow that you have. This is the nervous system foundation that every entrepreneur needs in order to make intelligent decisions about their finances, career, and business. I’m going to share a link below inside of the show notes where you can access this nervous system training and embodiment practice.

 

[00:12:49] You’re also going to find the dates that it is available. This is a time sensitive invitation. So don’t delay it. Look at it. Now, as I’m recording this podcast, I don’t have the specific dates, um,

 

[00:13:00] just cause I haven’t decided them yet. Um, but I do know that it’s going to be time sensitive. I’m creating and then making decisions.

 

[00:13:08] So go ahead, have a look down below. You will find the dates. I’m wishing you a financially fierce.